A Reason to Exist
by cullen818
Summary: Set directly after Jasper's chapter in Eclipse. Jasper is falling for Bella, but can she reciprocate after learning about his past? Was a o/s, now a full fic. These are the ramifications of B/J's night together. Team Jasper story!
1. Chapter 1

"**For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest**

**Title: A Reason to Exist**

**Penname: Cullen818**

**Existing Work: Fate Has Brought Us Here/Love Will Keep Us There**

**Primary Players: Jasper/Bella**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…not even Jasper which really is sad!**

**To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/**

**BPOV**

Edward drove me home from the Cullen's house shortly after Jasper's retelling of his past, and the car ride was quiet to say the least. Not because we were fighting, but because I couldn't get what Jasper had told me off of my mind. I found myself grieving for the life he had known. I knew he felt that, of course he felt it, and I couldn't get the way he looked at me when we said goodbye tonight out of my head. It was as if he was trying to tell me something.

I always knew that Jasper's early life as a vampire wasn't easy, but I had no idea just how volatile his beginnings actually were. He explained that he was a soldier in the Civil War and how he loved that status, and apparently that was what he was destined to be. Maria turned him and he helped her create newborn armies to protect her territory. His early existence was no picnic, and I couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been to feel all of those erratic and unstable emotions of the newborns all day everyday. I had gained a new respect for Jasper tonight, and I finally realized why he seemed to have the hardest time with the animal diet. He had survived so many years on pure instinct, and for a vampire following the Cullen's way of life, well, that wasn't exactly instinctual.

In the past few months I had found myself becoming more and more intrigued with Jasper. We never really talked much before, and then after the disastrous birthday incident we politely avoided one another whenever I was at the house. This was difficult since I loved Alice and I wanted to know Jasper because of her, but I felt uncomfortable around him, not because I was afraid of him, but because I knew that I was a constant reminder of what he had tried to do. I was hoping that since I got to know him a little better and understood his past that maybe we could form a friendship. Perhaps tonight was some kind of turning point in our relationship.

Edward opened the car door and led me into the house. I had been so caught up in my recent thoughts of Jasper that I hadn't even realized we were home. The house was empty because Charlie had gone on a weekend fishing trip.

"Love," Edward said. "Are you okay?" He pulled me into his arms; I felt safe and secure, but that's all I felt.

"Yes," I smiled. "I'm great."

"You were so quiet in the car. Have I done something to upset you?" Poor Edward. He was always thinking that he had hurt me in some way, and he was always trying to make up for leaving me that day in the woods. The problem was I didn't think that he was ever going to be able to fully make that up to me.

"No, it's not you." I assured him. "I was just thinking about Jasper's story and how he must have felt. He had a rough beginning." I sighed and my heart ached for all of the pain and suffering he had endured throughout the years.

"Yes, he did. I'm sorry he upset you. I told him that you didn't need to hear all of that." He shook his head and I couldn't help but get a little frustrated over his constant need to shelter and protect me from everything and anything.

I pulled out of his embrace. "No, Edward, I'm glad that Jasper told me about all of that. Obviously the problem in Seattle with all of those horrible killings is very similar to what Jasper described. I have a right to know what's going on, too."

"Bella, maybe I better not go hunting with the family tonight. I can stay with you." He suggested. "You seem on edge and I don't want you to be alone."

"No, you have been looking forward to this trip with your family. I want you to go."

"It might not be safe for me to leave you here alone." He said "I think I should reconsider."

"I'm not alone. Jake and the pack are constantly patrolling the area for Victoria, and Alice has seen nothing to indicate that I'm in any danger." I really wanted him to go and that was something totally new for me. I usually clung to him for dear life, but lately I needed my space.

"If you're sure." I could tell he didn't feel comfortable leaving me, but he knew my mind was made up.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll call you if I change my mind." I knew that I wouldn't.

He placed a soft kiss on my lips; the very kind that used to ignite a spark within me, but no longer did. I had given up even trying for more. "I love you, Bella."

"Me too." I smiled as I closed the door and locked it behind him. Not a second later I heard the engine of the Volvo roar to life and Edward peeled out. I think he was beginning to feel the distance I was putting between us.

I did love him; really I did, but just not as much as I once thought. I just didn't think we ever fully recovered after he left me last September. I tried to get past the abandonment issues, but all it seemed to do was make me resent him. His constant hovering was getting on my nerves. I knew he meant well, but it didn't seem to be working for me at the moment. Edward's intimacy issues weren't helping his cause either. A part of me would always love him, and I knew that I would find it within myself to marry him and spend my eternity with him, but for some reason that just didn't seem to matter as much to me anymore. There was a time when that was all I seemed to want, but now…

I couldn't hurt him, especially not after the incident with the Volturi. He was willing to end his life when he thought I had died, so how could I leave him? He was a good man and I knew that he loved me more than his own life. The love I felt for Edward was strong and I knew that I had to work through whatever was going on with me. I cared deeply for his family and I was so fortunate to have them all. I'd find a way to make this work, besides it wasn't as if there would ever be anyone else anyway. I knew how Jake felt about me, but I couldn't reciprocate and in the end he would be nothing more than a friend to me. No, Edward was my destiny. He had to be, right? We had been through too much for us not to be together in the end. I just needed to keep telling myself that, but it was getting harder and harder to believe.

**JPOV**

"Alice," I pleaded. "I just don't feel like going tonight."

"Why Jazz?" She plopped down in my lap. "Aren't you thirsty?"

"Not particularly." I really wasn't and I was starting to find it easier to be around humans without feeding as often. Maybe it was because Bella was around so much and I knew I never wanted to hurt her again. I was learning to control my blood lust, and I wasn't even exactly sure when that happened; it just did.

"Fine," she pouted. "I really wanted to go hunting with the others. Edward's even going. He hasn't gone with us in months."

"Alice, I want you to go, darlin'." We hardly ever spent anytime apart, and lately I was feeling the need for my own space. I was actually thinking of leaving for a while because I was having a hard time rationalizing why I was here, but something seemed to be keeping me here. As much as I wanted that reason to be Alice I knew deep down she wasn't why I continued to stay.

"You want me to go without you?" I felt her shock.

"It's only overnight." I reminded her. "You'll be back tomorrow. You'll have fun."

"But what will you do?" She closed her eyes searching for a vision. She wouldn't find one of me because I was still undecided. I constantly changed my mind about leaving Forks, and as difficult as it was I never focused on Bella, but lately that seemed to be getting harder for me. I knew I couldn't let my feelings for Edward's future bride come to the surface. Alice would pick up visions and Edward would hear my thoughts. These were complications I didn't need, and were some of the reasons why I thought I should leave. I felt like I no longer had a reason for existing.

"I can't get a lock on what you're doing. You're conflicted and undecided." She said and I could feel the sadness begin to creep in for her. I didn't want to hurt Alice, but lately I just wasn't feeling our connection. It all started when I tried to attack Bella and although Alice stood by me and defended me to the rest of the family I always felt her shame and disappointment over the whole situation. We never fully came back from that night, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to anymore.

"I'm not going to do anything. I think rehashing the past tonight has taken its toll on me, and I'd like to be alone." At the time I said it, I thought it was true.

"If you don't mind then I'll go." She kissed my cheek and sprung out of my lap. "I'll miss you."

I smiled at her and then she was gone. Alice would always hold a special place in my heart. She saved me from an eternity of desperation and sorrow. She brought me to the Cullen's and showed me another way. I needed her at the time, but now I wasn't so sure. There were so many new feelings I had been experiencing these last few weeks and I didn't understand why. I knew who they were directed at, but I had been trying so hard to protect my thoughts from Edward and Alice that I had tricked myself into believing that I felt nothing for Bella. I was mentally exhausted. I knew it wasn't fair to any of us, but I couldn't let it go especially not after tonight.

Just before Edward took Bella home our eyes met and I felt something from her. Yes, she grieved for my past and hurt for what I had been through, but I detected something else. I swear I felt love coming from her, and it was directed at me. Finally, a flicker of hope. I looked at her just as she got into the car, and it was then that I noticed the blush in her cheeks. She was embarrassed because she had remembered my gift, and she knew that I had felt what she was feeling. I was so taken aback by it that I didn't have time to process it until now. Could she really have feelings for me? I knew I should run in the opposite direction. This whole situation could only end in complete and utter devastation for all of us, but I couldn't let it go. So, instead of running away from Forks I found myself running straight to Bella's house. This would either be the best night of my existence or the biggest mistake I had ever made. Either way, I had to find out.

Bella was already in bed, but she wasn't asleep. The wolves had just made their routine sweep past her house and while I knew they would detect me they would recognize me as a Cullen, and because of that I was allowed to be here. I didn't want to knock on the front door because I was afraid I would startle her if she had to get out of bed and make the decision to answer the door, but I didn't entirely feel that it was appropriate to climb through her window either. What was I doing? Maybe I should just leave. I was going to do just that when a major wave of sadness washed over me and then I heard her quietly sobbing. I had to go to her and see what was wrong.

I quickly climbed into her window and walked over to the bed. "Bella," I whispered.

She looked up at me and I felt her shock over my presence, but she wasn't afraid. Her eyes were wet and red and she wiped her nose with her hand. "Jasper," she sighed. "Why aren't you hunting with the others?"

She smelled so good that I needed to create some distance between us. I was confused because for the first time in my existence it wasn't a human's blood that was calling to me; it was something else entirely. She started to get out of the bed. I held up my hand. "No, just give me a minute."

I felt her fear because she was afraid I had come to hurt her. I quickly replaced it with a calming vibe. "Bella, I won't hurt you. It's just that I've never been in your bedroom before and it's a little overwhelming for me." Bella and I had never even been alone before and now here I was standing just inches away from her in this tiny space.

"Is my blood calling to you?" She whispered.

"No, sweetheart, I'm fine." I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. She was embarrassed by the fact that she was in nothing more than a tank top and boy shorts. She nonchalantly pulled the comforter over her lap, but that didn't do anything to hide her magnificent upper body that was barely covered by the thin material of that snug tank top.

She blushed, "I wasn't expecting company."

"This is awfully rude of me. I don't make it a habit of climbing through the window of a lady's bedroom, but you were crying, and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," she forced a smile.

I don't know what possessed me but I reached for her hand and took it in mine. She didn't object. "I don't believe you. I can feel your desperation."

The tears began to stream down her cheeks and I felt how conflicted she truly was. Her emotions seemed to be mirroring mine if that were even possible. She looked up at me and said, "I'm sorry, Jasper, I don't mean to do this."

"It's okay, but can you tell me what's got you so upset?" I wanted to help her.

She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "I don't think I can."

"Well, maybe I should tell you why I'm here and then perhaps you will feel more comfortable talking to me."

I felt her curiosity.

I had no business doing this, but if I didn't I might not ever get this opportunity again. Alice was going to see me here and I was going to have to face those consequences, so I might as well make it worth it. "Bella, I can't explain it and I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but my feelings for you have changed. I can't seem to stop thinking about you and I know its wrong, but…"

"Stop," she said.

I released her hand and stood up. "Of course, I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have come here and dumped this on you. It's my problem." I headed for the window.

"No, don't go." She hopped off the bed and stood in front of it. "I'm upset because I'm feeling the same way about you, but you already know that."

"I don't want to cause you any pain." I told her.

She inched closer to me and I could feel her warm breath on my face. I focused on her lips and thought how much I wanted to feel them against mine. "I'm not upset because I have feelings for you. I'm just confused because I know that you love Alice and I love Edward. We shouldn't be feeling anything for one another."

"I think it's out of our control." I pushed the hair out of her face and she shivered under my touch. "What should we do about this?" I would leave if that's what she wanted. If she really believed that she was meant to be with Edward I would accept that, but I knew now that my heart could no longer stay true to Alice. There was another possibility for me now.

"I don't want to hurt anyone; least of all you. If my feelings for you have affected how you feel about me, I apologize. I never meant for me to project them on to you."

I smiled. "Bella, you can't manipulate me; that's my gift. I was feeling this way for you for some time now, but I've just been trying to suppress it so that I didn't hurt anyone."

"Are we supposed to deny are feelings to spare everyone else? I don't mean to sound selfish Jasper, but knowing that you feel something for me too, is only going to make me staying away from you even harder."

Was she really saying what I thought she was saying? She wanted me the same way I wanted her? "Bella, I've been monitoring your emotions for weeks now and I always felt some underlying pull to me, but you hide it well. When did it change for you?"

"Tonight," she whispered and I felt the bout of nerves she was trying to fight. "It's true over the past few weeks I was feeling things for you that I didn't understand, but tonight when you told me the story of your beginnings, well, something just broke free from inside me. I finally saw you for who you really are."

I put my head down and realized that after learning the truth about who I was she could see me as a monster.

"You're amazing," she smiled.

"What? How could you think that?" Why wasn't she horrified by me?

"You were so open and honest. You told me things that Edward would never have exposed me to. I looked into your eyes and I saw Jasper Whitlock, and it suddenly changed everything for me. At first I didn't realize what I was feeling, but then once I got home and thought about it, I knew."

"What did you know?" I asked hoping I was really feeling what I thought I was feeling from her.

"I'm falling in love with you and that scares me." I felt her honesty.

"That's why you were crying?" I asked.

"Not because I love you, but because I know that you could never reciprocate." She looked away from me.

I tilted her chin up so that she had to look into my eyes. "You're wrong." I placed a soft kiss on her warm lips. "I do reciprocate and I'm not falling in love with you; I'm already in love with you."

Her eyes were wide with shock. "You love me?"

"Yes, with all of my heart." I crushed my lips against hers and poured everything that I had been feeling over the past few months into that kiss. I never thought I'd get the opportunity to express my emotions to her. If I could sleep I'd swear I was dreaming. She allowed me to explore her mouth as she melted against my body. I could feel all of the new and exciting feelings emitting from her and in turn I was giddy. She was making me feel things that I had never experienced. I broke the kiss and had to hold her up. I think she was actually lightheaded. She giggled.

"What?" I smiled.

"You're really good at that," she blushed.

God, she was beautiful and happy. I don't think I had ever felt this much happiness coming from her, not even when she was with Edward. "You're stunning."

"Not like any of you," she said.

"The Cullen's?" I asked.

"Yes, you're all so amazingly beautiful. I always feel so inadequate."

"That's absurd. We are all made to look this way. It's just part of who we are, but you are so beautiful both on the inside and out. I've never felt more pure and genuine emotions from anyone." I knew she didn't believe me, but it was the truth. "Take tonight, for instance."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"When I showed you the scars on my arms from the newborns, you weren't repulsed. I felt your grief and sorrow for what I had been through."

"I could never be repulsed by you." And, again I was absorbing how genuine her feelings for me were.

I shook my head. "What you saw tonight wasn't even half of my battle scars. You may feel differently when you see the rest of them."

She swallowed hard and I knew she was working up the courage to ask me something. "Show me," she whispered. She took my hand and led me over to the bed where she got on her knees.

I stood facing her and began unbuttoning my shirt. Now seemed as good as a time as any to show her what I was. She looked into my eyes as she moved her hands inside my shirt and slid them down my shoulders revealing my marred chest and torso. I knew it was hideous but I wasn't feeling that from her. I closed my eyes as she ran her fingers up and down my skin tracing as many crescent shaped marks as she could. Her touch was incredible against my skin. It was as if I was being touched for the first time in my long, miserable existence. My frigid body actually shivered from her warm, soft hands.

"You're beautiful," she said.

"No, I could never be. My body is forever marked and it's a constant reminder of the terrible things I have done throughout my existence."

"No, Jasper, those things weren't your fault. You didn't know there was another way. The things you have done and the scars you have endured make you the man you are today; the man that I can't seem to stay away from." She pressed her lips against my blemished chest and began placing soft, open mouthed kisses along my chest and stomach. If I thought her fingertips created an incredible sensation that was nothing compared to how her lips felt against my skin. The electricity that soared through my body was enough to start my dead heart and I so wished that were possible.

I tangled my fingers in the back of her hair as I closed my eyes and threw my head back. "Bella, you don't have to do that." No one, not even Alice had ever touched me like this. Sure, I had made love with Alice thousands of times throughout the years, but she never paid any attention to my scars. With Bella it was different; it was as if she was trying to heal these age old wounds. As silly as it seemed; I wanted her to release me from this pain.

"I'm sorry this happened to you Jasper. I wish I could take all of that pain away from you."

I was the one who took all of the pain from everyone else. No one had ever tried to do that for me and while these scars were in the past she was helping me in ways that I never thought were possible. I gently guided her up to my lips. "Thank you," I whispered.

"I see you for who you really are," she said.

I ran my hands up and down her sides and I felt her desire begin to increase. I placed my hands on her hips and leaned into her mouth. "I didn't come here tonight for this." I said as I softly kissed her lips. "I'll stop if you tell me to."

She kissed me back and I felt her disappointment over my words. She wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "This feels so right, Jasper, I don't want you to stop."

I brushed my lips against hers and knew that I had to bring this next fact to her attention. "Alice can see what we are doing now that our minds are made up and Edward will read it in her thoughts. There's no coming back from this Bella, but if we stop now there will be no consequences."

"I don't want to hurt them, but I need you and somehow I think you need me too."

I kissed her jaw line working my way down to her neck. "You have no idea how much I need you."

She threw her head back and her lust increased almost to the point where it matched mine. "You can have me, Jasper, all of me." She was offering herself to me in the most intimate way and I didn't take that lightly.

I studied her emotions as I looked into her eyes. She was sure. I felt no regret or hesitation coming from her; only love and need. I pulled her tank top up over her head and pulled her chest to mine. I could feel her taut nipples against my marble skin. I reached down between us and unbuckled my belt letting my pants fall to the floor to join my already discarded shirt. I gently placed her on her back as I supported my weight on my forearms. "You're so fragile; I need to be so careful with you."

She hooked her leg around my hip and smiled. "I trust you." I grabbed her thigh and pulled her into my pelvis. The only items that came between us were the thin layers of our under garments and I knew they wouldn't be in the way for long. I could smell her arousal as it began to seep through her panties. I rubbed my hard erection against the wetness as a low growl escaped my chest. I attacked her mouth with the eagerness I could no longer hide as I ground myself into her soft center. She wrapped her other leg around my hip and thrust her body to meet me. It seemed I wasn't the only eager one here. I needed to slow our pace or this would be over way too fast, and I wanted to savor every last second.

My lips traveled down her throat as I licked and nibbled my way to her breasts. She moaned and writhed underneath of me and the sensation that her naked little body was creating under mine was enough to send me over the edge. I cupped her breast in my hand as I sucked her nipple into my mouth. She responded by grinding her hips into me as she arched her back to offer me more. I swore I was going to explode every time her hot, wet center came in contact with my cock. She was making it extremely difficult for me to control myself.

I trailed my lips down her stomach and to her waistband. I slipped my tongue underneath of it as I pushed my fingers into her entrance. She slightly parted her legs for me, but I felt her uncertainty. I sucked on her inner thigh as I increased the pressure of my fingers through her panties. They had to go. I quickly slipped them down her legs and tossed them aside. She was glorious lying before me naked and ready to give herself to me. I needed to take her. I stood up to rid myself of my boxer briefs and came to rest on top of her. I ran my lips across her neck and up to her mouth.

As if she anticipated my next question she said, "Jasper, I want this."

"I'm going to hurt you." It was unavoidable, but I would try to absorb as much of that pain as possible.

"I can handle it," she said as she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth. My little vixen.

I slowly kissed her lips as I sent her some relaxing vibes. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she was bursting with anticipation. I reached down between us and slipped my finger inside her. She was warm and tight and dripping with arousal. I thrust another finger inside of her tight little body and felt her muscles contract. She was forcing me out as she squirmed and tried to close her legs, but I had to get her used to the intrusion or she would never be able to handle what was coming next.

"Sweetheart, if you relax you will enjoy this, I promise."

"I'm trying, but I've never done anything like this before." She was frustrated by her inexperience.

"We don't have to do this tonight." I continued to thrust my fingers in and out of her. She moaned and started to relax under my touch.

"Oh… that feels really good." She closed her eyes and began to move with me. I increased the pace as I felt her first orgasm building from within her. She gripped my shoulders and screamed out my name.

"Let go, Bella." I attacked her lips as furiously as my fingers were moving inside of her.

She was wet and ready for me as she came down from her climax. I took her face between my hands and whispered, "I love you," as I slowly entered her.

"Jasper," she cried out. I stilled inside of her to let her get used to my size. I sent her a calming vibe so that she could concentrate on what we were sharing. I didn't want her to focus on the pain.

I slowly pushed into her core a little deeper and I could see the tears sliding down her

cheeks. I kissed them away. "I'm sorry, Bella. Do you want me to stop?"

"No," she panicked at my question. "I'll be fine. I want this. I want you."

I knew she did because I could feel it. With vampire speed I thrust one final time and broke through her thin barrier. She let out a small whimper and tensed up; that wasn't the problem though. I could feel the blood slowly beginning to trickle onto me. The smell was overwhelming and the venom began to pool in my mouth. I swallowed it back and regained my focus. I needed to get Bella through this and bring her the pleasure that she deserved. I may have craved her blood, but I wanted her body more.

Suddenly Bella began to move her hips in rhythm with me. She seemed to be enjoying it. She wrapped her legs around my hips and yelled out in pleasure. "Harder, Jasper…I need more."

I did exactly as she had asked plunging deeper and faster. I looked down at her and felt how satisfied she was. I pushed her sweaty hair from her face as I continued to pound into her. She seemed to like it hard and fast. "Bella, can you feel what you're doing to me? You're so tight…" I had never felt anything so amazing. I needed her closer. I sat up pulling her into my lap as I wrapped my arms around her closing the space between us. She tightened her legs around my waist and twisted her fingers into my hair.

I eagerly attacked her neck as I ran my tongue over that pulsing vein. I nipped at the skin there and I felt her desire increase. I ran my teeth along her neck and she cried out, "You can bite me…"

That statement jolted my insides and I felt my impending release come racing to the center of my body. "Oh…fuck Bella…you're going to make me cum."

I pushed her closer to me as I reached down and rubbed her clit. "Cum with me, sweetheart," and within seconds we were falling over the edge together. I stayed inside her until she calmed down and her breathing returned to normal. I gently slipped out of her and laid her back on the bed. I quickly went to the bathroom to retrieve a wash cloth so that I could clean her up.

I pulled the covers over her so that she wouldn't get a chill from my body. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better than okay."

"You might be sore later." I laughed.

"But it'll be a good sore. It will remind me of what happened between us."

"I have other ways of reminding you."

"Jasper," she rolled over to look at me. "Why didn't you bite me?"

I ran my fingers through her long locks. "Because we already have enough to answer for tonight, and when I bite you I need to be sure it's absolutely what you want." I reminded her. "It can't be a spontaneous decision."

"But you want to turn me?"

"I'm selfish Bella and I can't imagine my eternity without you." I kissed her lips.

"I want to spend forever with you."

"And you will, but first you need to finish high school and then we will figure out where to go from there."

"Go?" I felt her confusion.

"We're not going to be able to stay here with the Cullen's. Edward and Alice aren't going to easily accept us and I can't blame them. Are you sure this is what you want?"

She sighed and I felt how torn she was. "I love you, I know that now, and if leaving Forks is what I have to do in order for us to be together I can do that."

"The next few days won't be easy. Edward will come after me and the family will side with him. I may need to leave first." I hated that thought.

"No!" She panicked. "You can't leave me now that we've found each other."

"Well, maybe I could call Carlisle and explain to him what happened and see what he suggests."

"We've hurt them all, haven't we?"

I nodded in response. "The sun will be up soon and by now Edward has probably seen Alice's thoughts. We don't have much time."

She started to cry and that made me feel horrible. "Tell me what you want to do? I'll do anything for you."

"Promise you'll never leave me."

"I could never leave you, Bella. You are exactly what I have been searching for my entire existence." I heard my phone ringing from inside my pants pocket. I reached down to the floor to recover it. The display read the one person I wasn't ready to face, but I figured I needed to get it over with.

"Hello, Alice."

"Jazz, I saw everything."

"I know and I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." That was the truth.

"You love her." She wasn't asking; she already knew.

"I do."

"I've known that for some time now, but I just didn't want to believe that you would act on it."

"Alice, if you knew why did you leave me alone last night?"

"Because I had to clear your path and let you find your fate. If it was me you wanted you wouldn't be in her bed right now."

"Alice, I…"

"No, Jazz, I of all people know when something is meant to be and we're not. If she makes you happy then I want that for you. I'll keep Edward out of my head long enough for Bella to graduate and for her to properly end things with him."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you both and I see your future. Trust me when I say you will be happy."

"Thank you Alice. I can never repay you for this."

"We'll be home tonight and tell Bella that she needs to let Edward go because that's the only way the two of you can be together." She hung up the phone.

"She hates me," Bella said.

I pulled her closer to me and recounted the conversation for her.

"So, I just have to tell Edward?" She asked and I felt her fear and sorrow.

"I'll tell him for you." I would never let him hurt her. He needed to blame me for this.

"No, he needs to hear it from me." She was trying to be brave, but I knew she dreaded the thought of hurting him, and we both knew he wasn't going to be as understanding as Alice.

"I want to be with you when you tell him, and it doesn't have to be today." I told her as I stroked her hair. "Alice will hold him off for a few more weeks."

"I want you with me always, but yes, it has to be today because according to Alice we can't be together until we tell him." I knew she was right. It wasn't fair to make Alice keep this secret any longer than she had to. "I can't be away from you."

"You'll never have to be. Wherever I am you will be. I love you Bella and I will spend the rest of my existence making you as happy as you have made me today."

She snuggled into my chest and I could feel the love she had for me growing by the second. For the first time in my life I felt at peace. Calm washed over me as it never had before and even though I wasn't fully aware of the outcome I knew that it would all work out because I had finally found my reason to exist.

*****Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

*****I debated for a while if I was going to add to this, but so many of you asked that I felt I should at least give us a resolution. Because it was a o/s, B/J have already slept together in chapter 1, so I needed to find away to move forward and build from there. I hope you like where I'm headed.**

*****Thanks to Jasper's Darlin Kathy and TwiCarol for agreeing to take this ride with me, too!**

**BPOV**

Jasper left to go hunting, and meet up with Alice upon her arrival home. He needed to explain to her what had happened between the two of us, but I wasn't sure how he was going to do that, since I didn't even understand it. Even if Alice saw it coming, Jasper still felt he owed her a proper apology and explanation. I agreed, and I knew that I would have to answer to her for my part in all of this.

As I stripped the sheets from my bed, trying to hide it from Edward, I realized just how wrong last night was. I didn't regret sleeping with Jasper, but we may have rushed things. Our feelings for one another were going to hurt so many, and were going to tear apart the Cullen family. I was going to lose my best friend, and I'd come between two brothers.

Edward? How was I ever going to make him understand what I had done? I loved him, truly I did, but that no longer seemed to be enough. After experiencing what I had done with Jasper, I now knew how two people in love were supposed to be with each other. I knew it wasn't completely Edward's fault. I had been pulling away from him for a few weeks now, and my heart had never fully recovered from when he left me. I hadn't felt anything in such a long time. I hadn't felt anything until last night. My need for Jasper came rushing to the forefront, and I let my desire for him take over. I never expected it and I never would have acted on it, but it couldn't be helped. I would do it all again, if given the chance.

Was that selfish? How were Edward and Alice ever going to get over this? Could I live with this guilt? How was I ever going to be able to hide it from Jasper?

Just as I started to cry, my phone began to ring. _Edward_! I knew I had to pick it up, or he would be here in minutes. I took a deep breath and weakly said,

"Hello."

"How are you today, love," he asked, and he seemed too happy to hear my voice.

"Fine," I lied. "How was your trip?"

"It was good," he said. "But, Alice was a bit preoccupied. Jasper decided to stay home, and I think that upset her."

"Oh," What else could I say?

"No need for you to worry," he said. "I'm sure they'll be just fine."

_I don't think so._

"Bella?" he called my name.

"Yes," I said.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You seem distant."

"I'm just not feeling well," I said, and I wasn't lying this time.

"I can be there in a few minutes," he said, and I imagined him running toward the Volvo to get to me as fast as he could.

"No!" I wasn't ready to face him. He would know exactly what I had done, as soon as he saw my face. I was sure of it. "I mean, I'm okay. I'm just not feeling myself."

"How about you rest for a bit and then I'll pick you up, and we could come back here and watch a movie?"

Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. I'd get to see Jasper again. _Stop it, Bella!_

"Bella?" Edward said.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to come over?" He asked again.

"Yes," I said. "Would you come and pick me up?"

"Of course," he said, and I could hear his excitement. "I'll be there in a couple of hours."

"Okay," I said.

"I love you," he said.

I choked back a sob. "I love you, too," I managed to get out. I hung up the phone and crawled into my bed. I started to sob uncontrollably. How was this ever going to work out?

**JPOV**

I hated leaving Bella so soon after we were together, but I knew I had to hunt and be home when Alice got back. I owed her that much. I never meant to hurt her. I wished she didn't have to see what occurred between Bella and me last night. Even if my feelings had changed for Alice over the past few months, I still wouldn't want to watch her become intimate with another man.

I stepped into the shower, and hated that I was washing her off of my skin. She smelled so good, and I longed for the day when I never had to leave her. I thought back to how innocent and trusting she was with me. I felt her giving herself to me in every way possible. No one had ever put that much faith in me before.

I wrapped the towel around my body and as soon as I walked into the bedroom, I could feel her hurt and anger. It was enough to bring me to my knees. I looked into her eyes, and they were filled with fury. She didn't deserve this.

Alice," I said, as I walked toward her. She put her hand up to stop me.

"Shower didn't work. I can still smell her all over you," she said.

"No, you can't," I said. "Please, don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Did you wait more than five minutes after I left, before you slept with my best friend?" she hissed.

"If you knew what I was going to do, then why did you leave me here alone?" I asked.

"Because I had hoped that you wouldn't act on your feelings," she said, as she sat on the edge of the bed. "I knew better."

"Alice," I said, but didn't dare sit next to her. "I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know what happened."

"I know, Jazz," she said. "It's not entirely your fault. We've all had a hand in this. Edward and Bella have their own issues, even if Edward doesn't know it, and you and I have been staying together out of comfort and routine."

"I wouldn't exactly say that," I said, but I knew on some level it was true.

"It's true and you know it. When was the last time we had sex? "

"Months," I admitted.

"And it didn't seem to bother either one of us," she said.

"No," I said. "I guess it didn't."

"I just wish that you would have gone about this a different way," she said. "And, I wish that Bella would have been stronger, and resisted your particular charms."

"This isn't her fault. Blame me. She feels guilty enough."

"It's going to take me time to get over this, but it will take Edward even longer. He'll never understand this," I said.

"Bella will tell him, and I will make him understand."

She shook her head. "Bella isn't going to tell him tonight," she said. "She is going to have an extremely difficult time with her choice. You'll have your work cut out for you."

"You've seen it?" I asked.

"I've seen more than I wanted to see," she said, and I wanted to apologize again. "She's going to need help getting through this. Bella never wanted to hurt Edward. She loves him."

"I know, but I'll do whatever I have to do, to get her through this," I said. "I won't rush her."

"She'll have to tell him," Alice said. "Or, the two of you will never be at peace."

"You haven't seen her do it?"

"No," she said. "They are coming here tonight to watch a movie, and she'll need us to keep Edward out of our heads." She got up and headed for the door.

"You would do that for her?" I asked.

"I'm doing it for all of us," she said. "It will be the right thing to do in the long run."__

"Alice," I said, as she started to walk out. "I'll move out of our room tonight."

"No," she said, and I was confused. "Don't worry. I'm not holding out any hope. I just don't want to alarm Edward, and give him a reason to snoop around in our heads."

"Thank you," I said. "I know that you won't easily forgive me, but I do love you."

"I know," she said, as she walked down the hall.

I quickly got dressed and called Bella.

"Hello," she said, but sounded so down.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked.

"I spoke to Edward," she said, and I could hear her trying to hold back a sob.

"Did you tell him?"

"No," she said. "Not over the phone. We're coming to your house tonight to watch a movie, but I don't think I can do it there."

"Bella, we'll do it however you want to. I'll do whatever you need," I said.

"Jasper," she said, and I could feel her hesitation.

"Yes, sweetheart," I said.

"Tonight, when Edward brings me home, I'm going to tell him I don't feel well, and tell him not to spend the night with me."

"And, when he leaves you want me to climb through your window?" I asked.

"If you'd rather wait until I tell him, for us to be together," she said. "I understand."

"No, Bella," I said. "I need to be close to you."

"Thank you," she said. "I just need some time to let him go."

"I understand," I said, and I knew it would be extremely difficult to watch the two of them together, but if this was what she needed, I could do it. "Bella, I love you."

"I love you, too," she said. "See you tonight."

What were we doing? I could hear how conflicted and sad she was. Maybe I should have left her alone last night. She was building a life with Edward, but she could never fully be happy with him. If she really wanted to spend eternity with him, she never would have slept with me. But, those kinds of actions had consequences. I hoped that we could overcome them.

I sat in my chair and tried to focus on the book I was reading, but it was no use. She was all I thought about. As soon as I heard the Volvo pull into the driveway, I jumped up and headed for the door. I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn't exactly go running down the stairs and take her in my arms. I didn't even know how to casually go about this. Bella and I had never spent any time alone together, and I really tried to distance myself from her. I couldn't all of a sudden show an interest in her. Edward would be inside my head within seconds. How were we going to pull this off? It would be difficult, even if we didn't have a mind-reading vampire in the house.

I started down the stairs, but Alice was by my side in an instant. I looked at her.

"We need to pretend that we are okay," she said. "Edward will try to fix it for us, if not."

I nodded. I still wasn't sure why she was helping me. Did she see something that indicated that Bella wouldn't leave Edward? Maybe that's why she didn't want me to move out of our room. Maybe she saw things going back to the way they were, before Bella and I fell in love. No! I refused to believe that. I was drawn to Bella, like I had been to no other. It was more than physical, and I needed an opportunity to explore this further.

Bella and Edward came through the door, and he took her jacket. He leaned down and gently kissed her cheek. She blushed and she looked like an angel. I had to push back the rage and jealously that was building up in my chest. It was a good thing I was the empath, because if Edward could get a lock on my emotions, this whole charade would be over._ Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. _But, that wasn't what Bella wanted it, and I had to respect that.

Alice and I made our way to the bottom of the staircase, and as soon as my eyes locked with Bella's, I could feel her love for me. I was afraid it wouldn't be the same as this morning, but it was even stronger. I smiled at her, but then I felt her fear and despair._ What the hell?_

She was no longer looking at me. She was staring at Alice, and I could see the tears threatening to expose her. Her emotions were all over the place. She was completely overwhelmed, and because I was so enthralled with her, those erratic emotions were overtaking me.

Before I could manipulate the climate, Edward spoke.

"Bella, love?" He took her face in his hands. "Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick."

She didn't take her eyes off of Alice. "I…I don't," she was overcome with grief, sorrow, and desperation. She collapsed into Edward's arms. I started toward her, but Alice grabbed my arm and held me back. It wasn't my place.

"Bella?" Edward said. He carried her into the living room, and placed her on the couch. We quickly followed. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her it was going to be okay, but that was Edward's job for now.

"Carlisle!" Alice yelled.

Edward kneeled down in front of Bella, and I stood at the foot of the couch. I wanted her to see my face when she opened her eyes. I knew that her guilt had gotten the better of her, and seeing Alice was too much. I should have advised her against coming here, until she had a chance to speak to Alice.

Carlisle came downstairs and moved into Edward's spot. I could feel how worried and concerned Edward was for Bella. It matched my own.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked.

"She just collapsed," Edward said. "She wasn't feeling well. She wasn't herself. She barely spoke in the car on the way here."

"Bella, dear," Carlisle gently shook her. "Can you hear me?"

Her eyes began to flutter, and then she slowly opened them and stared at me.

"Jasper," she smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

*****Wow! Thanks for the huge response on expanding this story. I had no idea so many of you were interested in having me continue!**

*****Thanks Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and TwiCarol. These chapters wouldn't get posted without the two of you! **

*****I still own nothing! It just doesn't seem right.**

**JPOV**

"Jasper," she smiled, and I felt how happy she was to see me.

_Fuck!_

I quickly got her emotions under control, and she realized what had happened. She started to panic. I shook my head, and tried to mentally reassure her.

"Bella, love," Edward took her hand, and stroked her cheek with his other. I had to fight back a growl. _She's not yours, Jasper, not yet._

I felt Alice's concern and frustration, as she pulled me into the foyer. I knew she couldn't verbally convey what she was thinking without alerting Edward, and luckily he was too preoccupied with Bella to even care what Alice and I were thinking. I leaned against the door jam and watched, as Edward and Carlisle got to take care of her.

"Bella," Edward said. "Are you okay?"

She tried to sit up, but Carlisle stopped her.

"No, Bella," he said. "I want you to take it slow."

She nodded, and smiled at Edward. I felt her embarrassment over fainting.

"Have you eaten today, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"No," she admitted.

"Bella!" Edward reprimanded. _Why did he talk to her that way? _"What were you thinking?"

"I-I wasn't feeling well, and I guess I just forgot," she explained. I understood it. She was human and she made mistakes.

"But now look what you've done," he said. "You've made yourself worse."

"Give her some space," I said, as I walked back in the room.

"Jasper," Alice said.

Edward looked at me, and I felt his confusion.

"Jasper is right," Carlisle said, and I was thankful for the assist. "Alice, would you please ask Esme to prepare Bella something light to eat?"

"Sure," she said, but I felt her resentment. "Jasper, after I go to the kitchen, I'm going to our room. Will you join me?" I knew she wanted to remove me from the situation before I made a bigger mess, but I wasn't leaving Bella with the control freak. Obviously, I had territorial issues now.

"I'll be up later," I said. "I just want to make sure Bella is okay."

Alice glared at me, and then stormed down the hall. I'd deal with her later. I sat in the loveseat across from Bella and monitored her emotions. She was scared, distraught, sad, and guilty, but even through all of that, I felt love, but I knew it was for both of us. I'd have to find a way to accept that she still loved Edward. I could do that, as long as I knew it was me she intended on being with.

After Edward practically force-fed Bella some soup, he gently laid her head in his lap and began stroking her hair. I was beyond jealous, and knew I should leave, but I couldn't bring myself to stay away from her. Thankfully, Edward was so caught up with Bella, and consumed with worry for her, that he didn't even try to get into my cluttered head.

She rolled over and looked into his eyes. "I'm okay, really," she smiled. _Well, she certainly was relaxed._ I made sure of that.

"Bella," Edward said. "You passed out, you're not okay."

"Edward, don't hover," she said. "I can't handle that now." I felt her frustration.

_Note to self; don't hover, Bella doesn't like it._

Edward looked at me, and I quickly started to think of Alice, in case he was in my head.

"Jasper," he said, and I briefly worried that he heard something in my thoughts. "Can you help me?"

"With?"

"Bella," he said. "Tell her she needs to rest and let me take care of her."

She sat up, and he pulled her to his side. It was any wonder the girl could breathe. _Why had I never noticed this before?_ I couldn't watch them anymore.

"This is between the two of you," I said. "I hope you feel better soon." I stared at Bella for a few moments, trying to think appropriate thoughts.

"Thanks," she smiled. I wanted to take her in my arms and ravish those irresistible lips. _Alice!_ I reminded myself to think of only Alice.

"Edward," I said. "Maybe you should take Bella home and let her get some sleep?"

He looked at Bella. "Would you like that?"

"Yes," she said. "I think I would." She quickly glanced at me, and I knew she was hoping that I would keep my word and come to her tonight. I would, nothing would keep me away.

I ran up the steps and to my room, where my roommate was waiting for me. I knew I couldn't go anywhere near Bella's house until Edward was back home.

"This isn't going to work," Alice said. "We don't keep secrets around here for a reason."

"Alice," I sighed. "I'm exhausted, and it hasn't even been twenty-four hours. Did you see the toll this is taking on Bella?"

"She's going to have a breakdown, Jasper, I've seen it."

"I can't let that happen," I said. She was too fragile. She had already lost it once when Edward left her, and I didn't think she could handle another collapse. Her emotions were already so unstable.

"Convince her to tell Edward what the two of you have done," Alice warned.

"I'll just tell him myself,' I said. "That would have to be easier."

"She'll never forgive you," she said. "I've seen that scenario, too."

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I've already told you," she said. "It's the only way."

It took two hours, but Edward finally came back. I had never measured time before Bella, but now all I did was count the seconds until I could see her again. I jumped up from my chair and headed for the window.

"At least wait until he comes in," Alice said, without looking up from her magazine. I could still feel her distaste for me. I was starting to regret my decision to share a bedroom with her. I understood where the resentment was coming from, but it didn't make it any easier.

"I need to go to her," I said. I knew I was hurting Alice, and I didn't want to do that, but this pull toward Bella was getting stronger with each passing hour.

"Fine," she rolled her eyes. "Go, but tell Bella I expect an explanation tomorrow."

"Alice," I said. "She's already under an enormous amount of stress. Please give her time."

"Time to continue sleeping with my husband?" she hissed.

_Now she was making me angry._ "That was never official," I reminded her. "You wouldn't marry me."

"Now I guess you know why."

"What?"

"Never mind," she said, as she got up. "Go to Bella. I'll keep Edward occupied, so he's not tempted to crawl back through Bella's window tonight. That would be a horrible way for him to find out about the two of you. Don't you think?"

I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "I'll leave this house for good, if that's what you need."

"No," I felt her regret. "I just need time. I love you both, and it just hurts."

I stared at her for a few moments. _What could I say?_I was in the wrong. I leapt out the window, and ran straight to her. For the second night in a row, I found her crying in her bed.

I crawled in next to her, and wrapped my arms around her body.

"I'm sorry, darlin'," I whispered against her temple. "I never meant to cause you any pain."

She grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me closer to her. "Jasper, you came." I felt how happy she was to see me. She pulled back to look in my eyes. "I'm sorry about what happened at the house. I just got overwhelmed when I saw you and Alice." She was embarrassed.

"It's okay, Bella," I stroked her hair just as I had wanted to earlier in the evening. "I'm just sorry I didn't get your emotions under control faster."

I felt her guilt set back in. "Bella, tell me what you want." It would kill me, but I'd give her the out, if that was what she needed. "If you've changed your mind, and you've made a mistake, I won't cause any problems for you, but you have to let me know."

"Jasper?" she said. "Can't you feel what I feel for you?"

"I can," I said. "But sometimes we can't always act on our true feelings, especially when others are involved."

"I've thought about this all day. You're who I want to be with. I can't stop thinking about last night." She blushed.

"It was pretty amazing," I smiled, and stared into those mesmerizing chocolate eyes. This girl would be my undoing, but I didn't care. "Not just the physical stuff, Bella. I've never felt so connected to someone. It's very new for me."

"I know," she said. "But it's all happening so fast." She inched closer to me, and my throat started to burn. I had to push back those thoughts. I didn't want to hurt her, but it was very overwhelming to be that close to her, without feeling some effects of her blood.

"I'm sorry that I rushed you. I should have given you more time." I was saying those words, but my body was reacting to her in very different ways.

"No," she said. "That's not what I'm saying. I've never been more sure about anything else. I'm sure of you, Jasper."

"You just don't want to hurt Edward," I kissed her softly. "That's what makes you so wonderful."

"I've already hurt Alice," she said, and I felt her remorse.

"Alice will understand eventually," I said. "Her gift will help her with that. I know that she has seen everything already. Once you talk to her, you'll see."

"I'm not ready for that," she said, and I felt her shame.

"I know," I said, as I tilted her chin so that she could look at me. "But, Bella, Alice wanted me to remind you that you and I can't be fully happy, if we don't answer for what we have done."

"Not tonight, Jasper," she whispered, as she pressed her lips to mine. I felt her desire spike. "I've thought about being close to you all day. It's the only thing that got me through this horrible day." She kissed me. "Knowing that we could be together."

I knew we shouldn't do this, and if I were a stronger man, I would say no. I wasn't. I should have gotten her lust under control, and stopped us before we got any further, but I couldn't. God help me, I wanted this. I wanted her.

"You still want me, Jasper, don't you?" she whispered, as she reached for the buttons of my shirt.

"Always," I groaned against her mouth. I was impressed with how fast she got my shirt off of my body. She was just as eager as I was. I rolled on top of her, and attacked her lips. I knew I should ease up or she'd be swollen tomorrow, and how would she explain that? I couldn't help it. That territorial instinct kicked in, and I wanted to make her mine. I pulled the covers off of her body and moaned, when I saw that she was wearing nothing but a tank top and a pair of thin cotton panties. I could see the arousal seeping through them already.

I pressed my lips against her hardened nipple and bit down through the material of her shirt. She frantically tugged at my hair, pulling me closer to her chest. With her other hand, she reached down between us and pulled up her shirt, exposing herself to me.

I glanced down at her body and licked my lips. "You're so beautiful, offering yourself to me." I moved my lips down to her now bare nipple, and feverishly sucked it into my mouth. I slowly ran my tongue back and forth over it, knowing that the coolness of my saliva would briefly numb it, so that when I bit down, she would feel nothing but pleasure.

She screamed out my name, and I was glad Charlie wasn't home, or I was sure I would have been shot at. It would have been worth it.

Her desire and lust increased, and my cock twitched in anticipation. I quickly unbuttoned my pants and pushed them over my hips. I raised myself up on my forearms, and rubbed my erection into her wet center. She spread her legs for me.

"Oh…" she moaned, and abruptly raised her hips to meet the friction. I grabbed her leg and hitched it over my hip. Just as I went to pull her panties down, I felt a flicker of pain and then she winced.

I stopped. "Bella?" I asked. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she said breathlessly. "Please, Jasper, don't stop."

"You're in pain," I said, as I gently moved her leg from my hip. I immediately felt her disappointment. "You're sore from last night. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"We don't have to do this tonight," I said. "I should have realized that after being with me for your first time, you would be sore. I'm sorry."

I saw the tears filling in her eyes, and then I felt her feeling of rejection. She thought I didn't want her. She turned her head to the side.

"Bella," I whispered. "I'm not rejecting you."

"But, you don't want to hurt me," she said. "So, you're turning me down for my own good. I'm nothing but human. Too fragile for you." I could feel how frustrated she was with herself.

I knew where these feelings stemmed from, but what she failed to realize was, I was not him. I wasn't afraid to hurt her a bit, to bring her pleasure. "Look at me," I said. She slowly turned to face me.

"Sweetheart," I said, as I bent down and kissed her. "I will always want you. I'm only suggesting that we don't have sex tonight, to give your body a few days to heal."

I felt her disappointment.

"I didn't say that we couldn't play in other ways," I smirked.

She smiled. "Other ways?" I felt her curiosity spike.

"There are so many things that I can teach you," I kissed her lips again. "If you want to learn?"

"I do," she said. "I want to be everything to you."

"You already are, Bella," I said. "You're everything I've ever wanted." I moved down her stomach, and slowly slipped her panties down her legs. I kissed my way back up her legs, lingering at her inner thighs for a few moments. I gripped her hips as I moved closer to where my tongue ached to be.

"Spread your legs for me," I managed to breathe out. Her smell was intoxicating, and I had never wanted to taste someone so bad. She hesitantly did what I asked, and I could feel her nerves kicking in. "I won't hurt you, and if you don't like it, I'll stop." I hoped I'd be able to stop if she asked. _Please don't ask._

I felt her legs begin to quiver. "Jasper," she asked. "Can you help me relax?"

_Now, why didn't I think of that?_

I sent her some relaxing vibes, mixed with lust and desire. I even projected some of my own want onto her. As soon as I spread her lips with my fingers and inserted my tongue, she was already moaning my name. I slowly showed her how we could enjoy one another, without having sex. She bucked her hips into my face and started to move with me. I squeezed her hips and pushed her against my face. There were certain advantages to not having to breathe, and Bella certainly enjoyed those advantages.

Her taste was better than I had imagined, and before I knew it, she was releasing into my mouth. Her breathing was heavy and her heart rate had increased. She couldn't stay still. I moved back up her body and gently kissed her lips. I wasn't sure if she would find kissing me at this moment offensive, but she pulled me to her lips and thrust her tongue in my mouth.

_Fuck me! She liked it. _

I arched a brow at her.

She smiled, and I felt her embarrassment.

"That was sexy, Bella," I said. "You tasting yourself. I liked it."

"You make me want to do all kinds of things." She reached down and stroked me through my boxers. I let out a low growl.

"Bella, you don't have to reciprocate."

"I want to." I saw the blush run across her cheeks. "I'm just not sure I'm ready to do what you just did to me."

"It's okay, darlin'," I told her. "We've got plenty of time for that."

"But, I want you to feel good, too," she said.

"Hmm," I said, as I slipped my boxers off. "How about I just do this?" I began rubbing my erection against her entrance.

"That feels really good," she said.

I pressed my lips against hers, as I continued to rub against her mound. It felt so good, and as much as I wanted to be inside of her, I knew that this would have to do for tonight. I just wanted to be close to her, and let her know that she was loved and wanted.

I reached down in between us and spread her lips, so that I could rub my length along her clit. She let out a small moan and I felt her climax building.

The friction of her hot, wet sex was too much for me to handle. I grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her head back, as I screamed out my release. I shot my cool stream all over her stomach.

She gently kissed me.

"I like the way you play, Jasper," she whispered against my lips.

*****If you've been with me for my previous stories, you know I'm not going to make this easy! lol But, that's why you read my stuff! Thanks! **

**If you are into dark, dominant fics, check out a new blog I'm collaborating on...jaspersnaughtygirls dot blogspot dot com. We are all about those naughty, irresistible vamps. All dominant stories are welcome...human, vamps, wolves. We love all of the Twilight Men!**


	4. Chapter 4

*****Thanks again for all of your excitement over this story. It really motivates me!**

*****Thanks Kathy and Carol…I don't know why it is you continue to help me, but I'm just glad you do!**

**EPOV**

A week had passed since Bella collapsed in the foyer. She didn't seem to be getting any better. She was sad and distant, but whenever I would ask her about it, she would dismiss it, and tell me she was fine. I knew she wasn't. Today she didn't even come to school. I wished I knew how to help my beautiful girl. I hated seeing her this way.

Alice and I sat at the cafeteria table in silence. I missed Bella's presence. Alice's thoughts were so convoluted lately. She was always thinking the strangest thoughts, and none of them ever made any sense to me.

"Alice," I said. "Are you and Jasper having problems?"

.

"What?" She seemed shocked by the question. "Why do you need to know?"

"Alice?"

"Sorry," she said. "It's just a touchy subject."

"Can I help?"

"I want you to," she sighed. "And if I talk to you about it, you have to promise to stay out of my head."

"Of course," I said. "Your thoughts are private, and I'll respect that."

"Thanks," she gave me a small smile, but I hated seeing my sister so sad.

"It's hard to say it out loud," she said.

I waited patiently for her to tell me, struggling to stay out of her mind. It was difficult, but I could do it for her.

"Jasper and I have ended things," she said, sadly.

"What?"

"It's okay, Edward," she sighed. "I knew it was coming."

"What did he do to you?" I loved Jasper as much as I did Alice, but I wouldn't allow him to hurt her, not after all she did for him.

"Why do you assume it's his fault?"

"Well, because I know how you feel about him. So does he, for that matter."

"We were never meant to be," she said, as she shook her head.

"You've known that all along?"

"Yes, I did," she nodded. "But, I fell in love with him anyway. He needed me for so long, and I liked taking care of him. He truly is amazing, once you get past all of his torture."

"Why now?" I asked. "If you've known all of this time, why not keep pretending?"

"Because Jasper has finally figured it out."

"He just realized it on his own?"

"No," she said. "Not entirely on his own."

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter how he got there. He just did, and I have to respect that. You can't change fate."

"I know," I said. "I tried to last September when I left Bella, and now I'm afraid that whatever it is she is going through may have something to do with that. Some residual feelings that she can't get over?"

"Edward, maybe…" she abruptly stopped her sentence and slipped into a vision.

"Victoria," she whispered.

_All bets were off! _I quickly tapped into her mind to see what she was seeing. Victoria was running through the forest, but she was alone. Where were the newborns?

"Alice?" I gently shook her. "Where was Victoria in the vision? Is she here in Forks?"

"I don't know." she said. "But in the glimpse I got, she wasn't running from the wolves, or I wouldn't have seen her."

"Maybe they went after the newborns, and she escaped." I got up from the table.

"Where are you going?"

"To pay a visit to the pack." Once we had figured out that Victoria was responsible for the attacks in Seattle, and that she was forming a newborn army to come for Bella, we made a temporary truce with the wolves. We all wanted the same thing; to rid this world of Victoria and her army. Plus, Jacob and I had a common goal; protecting Bella.

"You can't go to La Push," she reminded me. Temporary truce aside, I wasn't permitted on their land.

"I'll call Jacob and ask them to meet me. I won't allow anything to happen to Bella."

**BPOV**

I got out of bed, and slowly walked to answer the door. All of my friends should've been at school, and I hadn't told Jasper I was staying home. I didn't want to worry him. I just couldn't face Edward today.

"Jake!" I smiled.

He walked in and pulled me into a tight embrace, lifting me off the floor a few inches. He put me down, and stared at me for a few seconds.

"Bella," he frowned. "You look horrible."

"Thanks a lot, jerk!"

"No," he apologized. "I'm sorry, but you look so drained. What's wrong?" He pulled us into the living room, and sat me on the couch next to him. I wanted to tell him what I had done, but I didn't want to hurt him. I knew how he felt about me, and I didn't think he could handle me leaving Edward for Jasper.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired."

"Liar!"

"Jake, that's rude," I said.

"So is lying to your best friend."

My eyes started to fill with tears. He wouldn't want to be my best friend, after he heard what I had done. I started to shake. He pulled me to his side, and kissed the top of my head. He was so warm and reassuring. He was just another person I was going to hurt and destroy. He didn't deserve it, and neither did Edward. I couldn't help it. I still wanted Jasper.

"Bella," he said, as he pulled away to look at me. "You can tell me anything."

"No, Jake," I said. "I can't." I wanted to. I needed someone to talk to. I could talk to Jasper, but I was always trying to mask my feelings. I didn't want to upset him. I knew he could feel what I was feeling for Edward. The guilt and the sorrow.

"I'm not trying to pry, or invade your privacy," he said. "But, you know the pack does routine sweeps by your house every night."

"Yes," I said. "It makes me feel really safe."

"I'm glad, because I would never let anything hurt you."

"I know," I said. "I appreciate it."

"Well, what's going on with you right now," he sighed, and I could see he was hesitant. "Does it have to do with the fact that the wrong bloodsucker has been in your bedroom every night this week?"

"What?" I panicked.

"I know it's not Edward you're with at night. It's Jasper."

"How?" I started to cry, and I felt those same overwhelming emotions I had that night at the Cullen house. I felt trapped, and there was no way out.

"Shh, Bella," I said. "I won't tell anyone. I'm sure the rest of the pack doesn't even know or care who you're with. I'm just more aware of Edward's scent. I'm more invested in you than they are."

"I love him, Jake," I admitted.

"I figured as much, Bella," he said. "But what about Edward?"

"I have to tell him," I said. "I know, but I don't know how."

"It's like a band aid, sweetie," he smiled. "You just have to do it."

"I'm afraid," I said. "I can't hurt him."

"It sounds like you don't have a choice," he said. "You're a mess, and it's taking a huge toll on you. I can see it, and I'm sure he does too."

"Why are you so okay with this?" I asked.

"I'm not," he said. "If you were going to dump the leech, I would have hoped it would have been for a wolf, not another leech."

"Jake," I said. "I don't want to hurt you. You're my best friend, and I know we haven't been that close lately, but I do love you."

"Don't apologize, Bella," he said. "I'm fine, actually better than fine."

"Really?"

"I imprinted last week," he smiled. "That's what I came to tell you. I wasn't going to say anything about Jasper, but when I saw you, I couldn't help it."

"It's okay. I'm happy for you. Who is she?"

"Her name is Ava," he smiled. "Seth and I went to the movies in Port Angeles last week, and as soon as our eyes met, I knew. It's weird and I can't really explain it, but she's the one."

"That's great!" I hugged him. "Does she know?"

"Well, no," I said. "She likes me, and said that she can't explain the pull toward me, but I can't tell her anything yet. Sam wants me to wait until this Victoria thing is resolved. I agree. I can't put her in danger."

"Are we any closer to resolving the Victoria thing?" In my recent drama, I had almost forgotten about that threat.

"We had a development last night," he said. "We found her clan of newborns and we were able to take down ten of them, but we were so preoccupied with killing them, that she must have escaped. We'll find her."

His phone started to ring. He answered it and as soon as he said hello, I could feel him tense up. That could only mean one thing, I couldn't hear Edward, but I got the gist of the conversation through Jake's side.

"What do you want, Cullen?" he asked.

"We took out ten of them last night."

"Sam contacted Carlisle a few hours ago."

"Yes, we can meet," he sighed. "I'll call Sam and you get Carlisle. I'll see you in ten minutes."

Jake hung up the phone and rolled his eyes. "I don't like Edward, so I hope I feel differently about Jasper."

"Edward never did anything to you," I told him.

"He hurt you. I was there, remember? I saw what he did to you."

"He left to protect me." I said.

"He left you unprotected," he said, and I could sense his anger.

"Please, Jake," I said. "I don't want to talk about that."

He stood up and watched the door.

"What is it?" I said, as I stood up and moved closer to him.

"A bloodsucker," he said.

"Victoria?" I asked, and moved behind him.

"No," he smiled. "Victoria would be easier to handle, especially for you."

"What?"

"It's Jasper's girlfriend," he laughed. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No," I said. I knew I had to face Alice sooner or later. "You go meet Edward, but Jake, you have to keep him out of your head."

"I will, Bella," he reassured me. "But, you have to tell him."

"I couldn't agree more, pup," Alice said, as she floated through the door.

"Maybe if you kept your man on a shorter leash…" I cut him off.

"Jake!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry, Alice," he said. "That was out of line."

Alice rolled her eyes. "But, not entirely off base."

Jake walked passed Alice and quickly whispered. "Don't you do anything to hurt her." He turned and smiled at me, before running out the door.

"It must be nice to have so many attractive, strong men in love with you," she said.

I sat down on the couch, because I was just too exhausted to stand. Jake was right, I was drained. Alice joined me on the sofa. She didn't say anything, just stared at me.

"I don't want to fight with you, Alice," I said.

"I didn't come here to fight," she said. "I came here, because I wanted an explanation for how you could sleep with Jasper so quickly."

"I don't know," I admitted. "It just happened."

"That's not good enough. Did I mean nothing to you?"

"You're my best friend and I love you like a sister." I knew how ridiculous that sounded, but it was true. "Alice, I don't know. I started having these feelings for him about a month ago, and then when he talked about his past, well, something clicked for me, and I realized that I…" I couldn't finish.

"You loved him," she finished for me.

I nodded and whispered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted on it."

"No," Alice sighed. "I know you love one another. I've known for quite some time, but I didn't want to believe that either one of you would act on it. I saw the two of you together in visions, but Jasper was so conflicted that the visions were never very clear. I didn't realize it was you, until after he attacked you on your birthday."

"You knew that long ago?"

"Yes," I said. "I always knew that there was going to be someone else for him, but I assumed it would be another vampire. He has had feelings for you since that first day in the cafeteria, but he denied them for as long as he could. He even wanted to kill you, after Edward almost exposed us when he pulled you out of the path of that van. Even then, he was struggling with the guilt of having feelings for you."

"You convinced me not to kill her," I jumped when I saw Jasper standing in the doorway. I didn't know how long he had been standing there, but Alice did.

"I knew that you would never forgive yourself," she said. "Plus, if I would have let you go to Bella that night, it might have changed your natural course, and the two of you might not have fallen in love."

"You were helping us?" I asked.

"Not consciously," she said. "I couldn't let Jasper kill you."

Jasper came to sit next to me, but he was hesitant. "Bella," he said. "I'm sorry that I had those thoughts, but I couldn't let you expose us for what we were. I didn't know you then. I hope you can forgive me."

"I don't blame you, Jasper," I said. "You were just trying to protect your family."

"Always so forgiving," he looked at Alice.

"I'm not Bella," she said. "I can't forgive as easily."

"Why are you here, Alice?" he hissed.

"Jasper," I said. "Don't fight with Alice. This isn't her fault."

"It's not yours either, and Alice knows that," he said.

Alice stood up. "Fine," she said. "Yes, I knew all along that you were never mine to keep, but I fell in love with you anyway. I'm not going to cause trouble for the two of you, but I can't just smile and pretend it doesn't hurt."

I walked over to her and tried to take her hand. She backed away. "I'm sorry, Alice," I said. "I truly am, but I love him."

"And you're not sorry for that," she looked at me, and if she could cry, I'm sure she would be. I started to shake, and the sadness and the guilt started to creep back in. _What have I done?_ Jasper had my arm, before I could drop to my knees. I felt a huge wave of relaxation come over me, and I couldn't feel any other emotion. I was becoming addicted to his emotional manipulations. I craved them when he wasn't with me.

"Alice," Jasper said. "Now is not the time for this discussion. You need to leave."

"We both need to leave," she said. "Edward is done with the pack, and he's on his way here now. We shouldn't be here."

"He'll smell us," Jasper said.

"Bella is too distraught right now," she said. "You may have been able to control your thoughts the other day, but you won't be that lucky today."

"You've seen it?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "He'll see what you've done."

"Maybe that's what needs to be done," he said.

"No!" I panicked. "Not like that."

"Bella," he said, as he stroked my cheek. "Look what this is doing to you. I want to tell Edward today."

"No," I pleaded, and started to cry. "Please, Jasper!"

He shook his head, but I knew he wouldn't deny me.

"Actually," Alice stepped in. "This Victoria situation has become a bit more complicated, and we might need to stick together. Now is not the best time to tell him."

"But you said," Alice cut Jasper off.

"I know," she said. "But things change. Something doesn't seem right. You need to wait to tell him."

Jasper let out a frustrated sigh, as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Please, Jasper," I said. "Let's just listen to Alice."

"Maybe we should seek Carlisle's opinion?" he said.

"No," I said. "Too many of us already know. Edward can't stay out of everyone's head."

"Jazz," Alice said. "We have to go."

He took my hand, and I gently squeezed his. "Tell Edward that Alice and I came to check on you. Alice was worried, because you weren't in school."

I nodded.

He tried to let go of my hand, but I didn't want to lose the connection. He gently pressed his lips to mine. "I'll be back later," he whispered. "Unless you've changed your mind? I'll tell him as soon as he comes through that door, and then we can be together."

"No," I said. "Not yet. Let's get this Victoria situation resolved."

He smiled at me, and then he and Alice were gone. I quickly ran upstairs to wash my face and change my clothes. I was starting to get good at hiding Jasper.

**JPOV**

I took Alice by the arm, and led her to my car. I opened the door, and motioned for her to get in.

"I can run home," she said. "I actually prefer it."

I gently shoved her in, and slammed the door.

I felt her anger as soon as I slipped into the driver's side. It matched my own.

I started the engine, and peeled out of Bella's street. I knew I needed to get a hold of my emotions, but I was furious.

"What were you thinking?" I said. "Showing up there and saying those things to her. Telling her I wanted to kill her? Are you trying to make her have that breakdown? I swear, Alice, if you're doing that intentionally, I don't care what we've shared in the past…"

She abruptly jerked the wheel toward her, and made us veer off the road. She was fuming. I turned and faced her, projecting my anger onto her.

She slapped me. I knew it was coming, but I didn't move. On some level, I deserved it. "How dare you!" she hissed. "As mad as I am, and I'm mad, I would never hurt you or Bella that way. Of course I don't want her to go crazy, but she's headed there."

"Stop saying that," I said. "Tell me how to fix it."

"I told you how to fix it a week ago," she said. "Now that plan won't work. It's too dangerous for us to split the family. We need to be united to take down Victoria. You are going to have to keep Bella as calm and as stable as you can, in the next couple of weeks."

"I'm trying, but I can't get close to her all day long," I said. "He's always with her."

"Victoria has left Forks, for now," Alice said. "But, she'll be back and soon. Carlisle is going to plan a quick hunting trip, but Edward won't leave Bella. I'll go with him and Esme. Rose and Emmett will be joining us."

"I'm not going to leave her either," I said.

"Edward will invite her to spend the weekend," she said. "With her in the house, you can keep her calm."

"Do you foresee any problems with the three of us in the same house?"

"No," she said. "Edward won't find out this weekend."

"Alice," I said. "How is he going to find out?"

"I don't know," she said. "I haven't seen that."

_Why hadn't she seen that?_ Did that mean he was never going to find out about us? How much longer could we sneak around? Bella wasn't going to last much longer. I felt that. Eventually her guilt and remorse was going to get the better of her, and I was standing by and letting it happen.

*****I know that in the book, they don't figure out that the Newborns and Victoria are one in the same until graduation, but for purposes of this story I needed to take a few liberties. Since it's an AU, I didn't think you'd take issue. Thanks for indulging me.**

*****The Darlin's are sponsoring a Valentine's Day o/s contest. You have to enter! Check out the details on my blog. Cullen818 dot blogspot dot com. I'll also put up the info on my profile page, too!**

*****Can't wait to see what happens with the three of them in that house!**


	5. Chapter 5

*****Thanks to all of you amazing readers. The response to this story has been crazy. I really thought that once the trilogy was over you really wouldn't be interested in anything else I had to write. I appreciate all of the alerts and reviews.**

*****As always, thanks beta girls! **

**JPOV**

When we got back to house, Alice was right; the others were already preparing to leave for their weekend hunting trip.

"Go get ready," Emmett said. "Carlisle wants us replenished, before we have to deal with Victoria."

"Alice will be joining you," I said. "I will be staying behind."

"Again?" Rosalie said. "What is so important in Forks?"

"I'm sure Jasper has his reasons," Carlisle said, as he and Esme came down the steps. "I'm just sorry you won't be coming with us."

"It's probably better," Esme said. "You can keep Edward company. He's so worried about poor Bella." I felt how upset she was for Edward. One more thing I had to add to my pile of problems I was causing for my family.

"What's wrong with Bella, anyway?" Emmett said.

"Who knows?" Rose said. "She's probably just angry he won't turn her."

Emmett laughed. "Or maybe she's pissed he won't f..."

"Emmett, I'm warning you!" Esme said, as she glared at him.

As ridiculous as it seemed, I had a brief moment of jealousy thinking about Bella and Edward being intimate. I knew they hadn't been, but just hearing Emmett say it, upset me. _I had it bad._

"I can be ready in five minutes, Carlisle," Alice said. "Jasper, enjoy your weekend."

"Thank you," I said. "You all do the same."

Carlisle clapped my back, and gave me a small smile. I felt his compassion. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew I was struggling with something. That's what made him so amazing.

"Jasper," he said. "I'm here when you want to talk."

I nodded, as they walked out to the garage.

A few minutes later, Alice came floating down the steps. I think she was happy to be getting away from me this weekend.

"Esme called Charlie," she said. "And she invited Bella to spend the weekend. He thinks the men are off camping, and because he noticed that Bella has been so depressed lately, he thinks it's a good idea for her to stay here."

"Thanks for giving me the story," I said. "Have a nice weekend."

"Jazz," she said. "I'm sorry I hit you earlier."

"It's okay, Alice," I said. "I'm sorry for a lot of things."

"I know," she smiled, and I felt her love for me. "It'll all work out. You'll see,"

She ran out of the house before I could question her. I realized that she was going to be just fine. She had years to prepare for us ending. I knew that things hadn't been right with us for so long, but I never expected not to spend my eternity with her. She had saved me from myself, and brought me to my family. If not for Alice, I would have lost myself all of those years ago. I was grateful to Alice, and I always would be, but the feelings I had for Bella couldn't compare. I knew our relationship had developed so fast, but I was an empath, after all, and I knew feelings. I knew how I felt about Bella, and I also knew what she was feeling for me. In all of the months that I had known her, she never felt for Edward what she was feeling for me. And, the more I thought about it, Edward didn't feel as strongly for Bella as I did.

That was strange. I had never really analyzed their relationship before, since it really was none of my business, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that they didn't have a very deep connection. They weren't drawn to one another the way Esme and Carlisle were, and it wasn't the same as Emmett and Rosalie. Edward and Bella weren't true mates, and now, looking back on my relationship with Alice, it was so clear. We didn't have the link that the others had either. Why had I never realized that before? Now that I had something to compare it to, I saw that Bella and I belonged to one another.

I couldn't stand the fact that our finding one another was bringing her so much pain and guilt. I knew she loved Edward. There was no denying that. He loved her too, just not the way I loved her. But, Edward didn't know that there were different levels of love, he couldn't feel it the way I did. He believed that she was his, and they were going to spend eternity together, but I knew he wasn't planning on turning her. I could feel that.

He was so conflicted about ending her human life. He wanted to do it, because it was what she had wanted. But, deep down inside, he knew he couldn't do it. He wasn't willing to take her soul, and make her one of us. The threat of the Volturi was not what made him agree to turn her. It was the possibility that she would marry him, and become his. That was how Edward saw her. She was a possession, and he might not have been doing it consciously, but he intended on keeping her fragile, weak, and human. I was sure of it.

He had already purchased a house a few miles from Dartmouth. Bella had said that she didn't want to attend there in the fall, but Edward already had them both enrolled there. How did he expect her to attend there, if she was experiencing her newborn phase? He was already thinking of ways to convince her to stay human. I didn't blame him. She was so perfect, and I hated to think of ending her life. I wouldn't turn her down though, if that was what she really wanted from me, I would do it. I would never make that choice for her. I considered her my equal in every sense of the word, and I would love her, whether she wanted to stay human or become like me. I wanted Bella, and I knew she felt the same way about me. I could feel it. I only wished that I could help her realize that she had nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, it would be hard on Edward, but he would eventually learn to accept it. And, maybe by letting him go, he would be free to find his mate.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard the Volvo pull up. How was I going to pull this off? Could I watch as the two of them spend the weekend together as boyfriend and girlfriend? Could I keep Edward out of my head? Alice said that the three of us would be fine this weekend, so I had to trust that she was telling the truth. I just hoped that nothing any of us did would change the course of what Alice saw.

Bella and Edward walked into the foyer, hand in hand. Edward had Bella's bag slung over his shoulder.

"You need to have dinner," he said. "I don't know why we couldn't stop on the way home."

"I'm not hungry," her eyes locked with mine, as soon as she realized I was in the house. "Jasper," she smiled. She was surprised that I was here. Did she honestly think that I would go off for the weekend, without telling her that I was leaving?

"Jazz?" Edward said. "You stayed behind?"

"Yes," I said. "I thought it was best if Alice went without me."

"I'm sorry, man," he said. "I know it must be difficult for you." He pulled Bella closer to him. "Let me know if you need to talk."

I felt Bella's guilt over Edward wanting to help me get through my separation with Alice. I sent her a quick calming vibe and smiled at her. "Thanks, Edward. I appreciate that, but it's been a long time coming. Alice and I did the best we could to keep it together, but some things just aren't meant to be.

"I'm glad you stayed with us, Jasper," Bella said. She was a little too relaxed now. I had my work cut out for me. I had to find just the right balance with her emotions.

"Thanks, Bella," I said. "You won't even know I'm here."

"Don't be silly," Edward said. "We'd love for you to join us. We're going to watch a movie, once I get Bella to eat."

"I'm not hungry," she whined. She sounded like a child, but I thought it was cute. Edward was not amused, but he would never let Bella know that.

"Bella," he said, as he walked her into the family room and sat her on the couch. "You haven't been well all week. You're exhausted and losing weight. You're here this weekend, so that I can take care of you."

"Edward," I said. "How about I run to the supermarket, and pick up some things that Bella would like. If she's not feeling well, maybe she just doesn't want to eat that much."

Edward thought about this for a few moments, and then agreed. "Would you like that, Bella?"

"I don't want to inconvenience you, Jasper," she said, as she bit her bottom lip._ Fuck, she was sexy. Stop it! _I glanced at Edward, but he wasn't in my head.

"It's no problem, Bella," I said. "I'll go get you something to eat and maybe you could go take a relaxing bath while I'm gone?" _How else could she stay calm if I wasn't in the house?_

"That does sound nice," she looked at Edward. "Would that be okay?"

"Of course, love," he smiled, and then leaned in and gave her an affectionate kiss. I stiffened. "Would you like me to draw the bath for you?"

"No," she quickly said. "I can do it."

_Good girl! _I didn't think I could handle him being in the bathroom with her, while she soaked in the tub.

"Okay," he said. "Go on up, and I'll bring your things up to my room. See, it's a good thing I bought that bed, after all."

She blushed, and I felt her embarrassment.

"Oh," Edward said. "Don't be shy in front of Jasper. He doesn't care what we do in my bedroom."

_Oh yes, I did, and he better not have had any ideas about doing anything to Bella in that bedroom._ I had to stop this, or it would be a long weekend, that would certainly not end well. I was ready to go and find Victoria myself, to end this once and for all. But, I knew I couldn't do that without the rest of the family, and probably the wolves. I was beginning to think this was going to take way longer than I needed it to. And, I was starting to fear that Bella wasn't emotionally stable enough to hold on much longer.

"I'll be back," I said. "I need some air."

"What?" Edward said.

"You know what I mean," I covered. "I'll be back soon."

"Jasper," Bella said. "Thanks for going to the store for me."

Edward scooped her up, and ran her up the steps. "I would have gone for you, too," Edward said. "But, I'm glad Jasper is going, because I don't want to leave you." I heard him say, as he carried her into his room.

I felt her anxiety spike. I sent one last wave of relaxation, before jumping in my car and heading to the store. _Well, at least I could make myself useful to Bella._

A few hours later, I sat in the chair in my room and tried to focus on my book. It wasn't working. I couldn't stop thinking about her, wrapped in his arms, sleeping in his bed. I glanced at my empty bed.

Bella finally settled in, and thanks to my super sensitive hearing, I was able to hear when Edward crawled in next to her. They began to whisper, I guess not to disturb me, but that really was a futile effort.

"Did you have a nice evening, love?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I did," she said. "I felt really calm and at peace."

"Do you want to talk about what has you so upset? I don't want to push you, but I know something is wrong."

I focused on Bella's emotions. I knew I couldn't manipulate her all the time, but in these circumstances, I didn't really see how to get around it. The only good thing that was coming from sneaking around was that I was learning how to focus in on one person. Usually, when I controlled the climate, almost everyone was affected, but now I was learning how to just hone in on one person. The only person I really cared about. I would do anything to keep her calm and happy.

"Edward," she said, and I wondered if she would tell him. "I know I've been down lately. But I'm just not ready to discuss it."

"Does this have to do with Jasper and Alice?" he asked.

"What?"

"I'm sure Alice has told you that they have separated." Edward told her. _Oh, she knew all about me and Alice._

"Yes, I know," I felt her remorse, but I decided to let her feel it. I knew she had to find a way to get through this mess, and it couldn't always be me altering what she felt.

"I know you must be hurting for Alice," Edward said. "But, she knew it was coming. She's so strong, Bella, and I know she'll be fine."

"You really think so?" I felt a sliver of hope coming from her.

"Yes," he said. "It would be much worse if she had no idea it was coming. Don't you agree?"

_Oh no!_ Bella's heart sank, and her nausea washed over me.

"Yes," she said. "I guess that would be horrible."

"I just hope that Jasper doesn't fall apart over this."

"What do you mean?" Now I felt her worry for me.

"Well, he's always been a bit unstable when it comes to our particular diet. If the stress over breaking up with Alice gets to be too overwhelming, I'm afraid he'll slip up."

_Thanks for your confidence, brother. _He was wrong. I wouldn't slip up. I had a reason to maintain my lifestyle.

"Jasper wouldn't do that." I felt her overwhelming confidence in me. It made me feel like I could do anything. "He's so much stronger than you think."

_Oh, back off, Bella! _I could feel Edward's curiosity bubble to the surface.

"Since when do you know so much about Jasper?" Edward said. "The two of you barely speak to one another."

"I just know that he wouldn't do that," she said.

"That's very kind of you Bella," he said. "Especially after what he tried to do to you last year."

"He's apologized for that," she was so determined to make him see. "I never blamed him."

"I know, love," he said, and I heard him gently kiss her lips. "That's why you are so special."

"I'm not that special, Edward," I felt how disgusted she was with herself. How was I ever going to get her to see herself for who she really was?

"I disagree," he said. "You are the most special, amazing, incredible creature that I have ever encountered." He kissed her again, but this time his emotions shifted, and I could feel how much he liked touching her.

"You're so beautiful, Bella," he said, and I heard them kiss again.

_Okay, that's quite enough. _I sent Bella a hefty dose of lethargic vibes.

I heard her yawn, and that made me smile. "I'm sorry, Edward, but I'm really tired."

"Of course you are," he said, and I heard him adjust their positions. I was sure he had pulled her onto his chest. It was what I would have done.

He began to hum her lullaby, and she drifted into a deep sleep. I was sure he was stroking her hair and staring at her, while she slept. In the past week, being with Bella while she slept had become one of my favorite parts of the day.

With Bella asleep and Edward content with watching her, the next few hours were pretty uneventful. I finished my book, and decided to start another one. I didn't realize how dependent I had gotten on going to her room, and watching her sleep. I could feel how happy Edward was to be able to do it again. He was doing his best to respect Bella, and luckily for me, he wasn't climbing through her window at night.

As I settled back into my chair, after getting another book, I felt a rather strange emotion coming from down the hall. _Lust?_ I focused a little harder, and realized that it was emitting from Bella.

_What the hell..._

*****I know this was a shorter chapter for me, and much of it was filler. It all served a purpose, trust me... I know what I'm doing! (I think?). **

*****The next chapter may be delayed a few days. I'm working on a o/s for the "I Get Off in Volterra" Contest. The details are on my blog. I'm doing a Bella/Alec pairing, so if that interests you, please add me to author alert so you'll know when I post.**


	6. Chapter 6

*****Thanks for your patience over this chapter. My o/s for the "I Get Off in Volterra" Contest is now posted. "Where Your True Destiny Lies"...please check it out and let me know what you think when you get a chance. Thanks to all of you who have already read it and left a review!**

*****Thanks beta girls!**

**BPOV**

I woke up, cold and alone. I took in my surroundings, and remembered I was in Edward's bed. _Where was he?_ I suddenly realized what I was missing. I quickly got up and ran down the hall to his room. I needed him…had to feel his hands all over my body.

I pushed open his door and found him in his chair. He was reading, but as soon as he heard me coming, he tossed the book aside and stared at me.

I slowly approached him, knowing that this is not where I should be, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Bella?" he whispered. "You shouldn't be in here."

"I missed you. I just want to be close to you," I said, pleading with my eyes. I would die if he sent me away.

"Darlin', I miss you too, but…"

I cut him off with my lips. I quickly inserted my tongue into his mouth, and moaned my pleasure. He tasted so good, a mixture of sweet and spice. I could never get enough of him.

He moved his hands to either side of my face, and gently pulled back. "Bella, I don't have enough self-control for this."

"Really?" I asked. "How about this?" I pushed the robe from my shoulders, and let it fall to the floor, revealing my naked body to him.

He gasped at my little surprise, and I knew by the look in his eyes, he wanted me. My juices were already starting to drip down my thighs, and he hadn't even touched me yet. I crawled into his lap, straddling him. I pushed my wet core into his hardened center.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned into my mouth. "How am I supposed to resist you?"

"Don't." I said. "I need you to touch me. I like when you take control, and make me do what you want." I licked his neck. "Can you do that Jasper? Can you make me yours?"

He stood up from the chair so quickly, and before I knew it, I was pinned against his rock hard chest and the wall on the opposite side of the room. He lowered his pants, and then quickly thrust a finger deep inside me.

"So, fucking wet…" he whispered, as he moved his finger in and out of me, gently adding a second as his thumb rubbed my clit. "Is this what you wanted?"

"God, yes…" I moaned.

"Say my name," he corrected me. "I only want my name to escape those lips."

"Yes, Jasper," I whispered against his mouth. "Please…I need to feel you."

He swiftly lifted me off the floor with one arm, and I wrapped my legs around his hips. He rested his other arm against the wall, next to my face. "Put me inside of you," he growled.

I reached down and took him in my hand. He was so big and thick, I briefly thought about taking him in my mouth. I wanted to taste him, but when he started to suck on my earlobe and whisper what he wanted to do to me, I knew there would be no stopping him. I rubbed his tip against my clit, enjoying the sensation of his coolness against my heat. He indulged me for a few moments, but he was getting impatient.

"Bella," he hissed.

I let out a quiet giggle over his eagerness, and then did as he asked. I pushed him inside of me, and then he thrust slow and deep. He stilled for a few seconds, letting me get used to him. This was the first time we were connected since our first night together, and he knew he had to be careful with me.

"I'm ready, Jasper," I said. "You can have me."

He picked up his pace as his lips explored my neck, occasionally I felt his teeth gently scrape at my skin. I threw my head back and offered him all of me. He moved down the column of my throat, working his way to my breasts. He gently bit down on my nipple, before feverishly sucking it into his mouth.

"Harder, Jasper," I moaned as I looked over his shoulder. I was so caught up in feeling Jasper that I had to focus, but then I saw his golden eyes staring back at me. He was so quiet, and he didn't move.

_Edward!_

Jasper must have been too involved in what he was doing to me, because he didn't stop. _He had to have sensed him standing behind us, didn't he?_ He only continued to suck on my nipple harder.

I didn't break my eye contact with Edward, as I pushed the back of Jasper's head closer to me, arching my back to let him take my breast even further into that skilled mouth. Just as my muscles began to tense and I felt that incredible sensation in my stomach…

"Bella!" Edward said.

He was stopping me from releasing, and then Jasper started to slip away from my hold. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.

"Bella," Edward called.

I reluctantly opened my eyes. I was gasping for air and gripping the sheets.

"Bella," Edward said. "Are you okay, love?"

"It was a dream?"

"Yes," he smiled. "And, a pretty intense one."

"A dream?" I couldn't believe it. My body ached for Jasper, and I could feel his touch all over me. I still felt the chill from his lips against my neck. And, I was so wet. Edward had to have known that. I knew he could smell it. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't.

He gently stroked my hair, but that made me mad. He knew that I was dreaming about having sex. _Why didn't that affect him?_

I rolled onto my side to face him, and inched closer to his face. I brushed my lips against his. He pulled back, as I expected him to do. _That was it! _I could throw myself at him, but this time when he rejected me, I could fight with him and tell him that this was no longer working. Once I told him I wasn't happy or satisfied, he would let me go. _Edward's only goal in this life was to make me happy, right?_

I moved closer to him and ran my fingers through his hair, as I pressed my mouth to his. He kissed me back, but he had done that before. He would stop in a few seconds, and I'd be another step closer to Jasper. I didn't want to hurt Edward, but he continually hurt me every time he rejected me. If I could convince him that I wasn't what he wanted, after all, then maybe he would let me go.

He deepened the kiss and ran his hand up and down my side, resting it on my hip.

"Bella," he whispered. "I know what you were dreaming about. I know what you want."

He pushed me down on my back and moved impossibly close to me. His smell was intoxicating. He started placing open-mouthed kisses along my jaw, as he moved down to my neck.

_Well, this was certainly uncharacteristic for him. _He'd have to stop soon.

As he continued to kiss my neck and shoulder, his hand started to roam over my chest and stomach. _How long had I waited for this?_

"Bella," he whispered. "You smell so good." He moved his hand down and gripped my thigh, as he gently spread my legs open. I immediately tensed up, when I realized what he meant by me smelling good.

_No! No! No! This wasn't happening! Why couldn't this be the dream?_

I looked into his eyes and saw that they were black. He was full of desire and lust, and he was so beautiful, and if this had happened a few weeks ago, I would have been ravishing him, but not anymore… I didn't want him. I knew now that I wasn't meant for him. I had already given my mind, body, and soul to Jasper.

He slowly slid his hand over my shorts, and circled his fingers over my entrance. A chill ran down my spine, but not in a good way.

He smiled as he pressed his lips to mine and deepened the kiss. Edward had never been this intimate with me. He moved his fingers inside my panties, and I knew I had to stop this before it got any further.

"Edward," I placed my hand on his chest to create some distance between us.

"I won't hurt you," he smiled. "I'll go as slow as you need."

"Why now?" I asked. "Why tonight?"

"After watching you experience that dream, I realized how much I needed you." He pressed his erection against my hip. "It did things to me too, love, and I don't want to deny you anymore. I can't deny us any longer."

He went back to kissing my lips, as he moved his fingers closer to my entrance.

"No!" I moved away from him.

He let out a frustrated growl, "I know you want this."

"No," I said. "I changed my mind." My voice was so soft and small.

He slowly ran his tongue along my bottom lip, and brought his hand to rest on my breast.

"Just try to relax, Bella," he whispered. "I'm not going to hurt you." He grinded himself into my leg.

"No!" I screamed. I had made a huge miscalculation, and now he might be too far gone to stop. This is what he meant by losing control. He stopped and stared at me. I saw the confusion wash over his face. _Of course he was confused. I started this._ "I don't want to do this. I'm sorry," I started to cry. "This is my fault. I shouldn't have started this, knowing that…"

"No," he pleaded. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you after you said no. I didn't mean to be so inappropriate."

"This isn't your fault," I could feel that familiar panic start to rise in my stomach. I started to shake. "It's me, Edward. I'm not good…"

He sat up and pulled me into his arms. He was comforting me, but I felt how on edge he was. His body was rigid and tense. It was like he wanted to be close to me, but he was fighting to control himself. His eyes were still so black. _Was it my blood or my body?_

I tried to pull away from him. I was trying to make this easier for him, but he misinterpreted what I was doing. "No, please, Bella, don't be afraid of me." He tightened his grip on me.

"Edward," I pulled away again. "Let me go." I wanted to tell him the truth, but I remembered that Alice said that we couldn't split the family. I started to sob, uncontrollably. He finally let me go, and I got up and moved off the bed. I ran my fingers through my hair, as I sank to the floor. I couldn't do this anymore. I had to tell him… I looked up at him through my swollen eyes, but before I could say anything, he simply said,

"Jasper."

_Oh, God, did he know? Maybe I said something in my sleep?_

Before I could process anything else, Jasper came rushing into the room and stared at me curled up on the floor. I could tell by the look on his face, my emotions were crashing into him. Edward knew that I had needed to be manipulated, so he called Jasper in.

Edward got off the bed, picked me up and handed me to Jasper. "Help her," he pleaded.

Before I realized what was happening, Jasper carried me to the bed. I felt a wave of calm wash over me.

"What happened to her?" Jasper said.

"A misunderstanding," Edward said. "It was my fault."

"No," Bella said. "I did it."

"Jasper," he said. "I have to go out for a bit. Can you stay with Bella?"

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I know you can feel what I'm feeling for Bella. I'm overwhelmed," he said.

Jasper nodded.

"But, Jasper, if I leave you here with her, and you hurt her," he shook his head. "I will kill you, before you ever even sense me coming."

"Did you not seek my assistance?" Jasper said.

"He would never hurt me, Edward." I said. "Please go and do what you need to do."

He briefly stared at me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll be back soon." He didn't say anything else to Jasper, before turning and leaping out the window. I felt Jasper's eyes on me, and even without being an empath, I knew he wasn't happy.

**JPOV**

I began pacing the room. What was she thinking? Did she not realize how hard it was for me to listen to what she was trying to do to Edward?

"Jasper," she said in a frightened voice.

I held up my hand and motioned for her to stop. I needed to get control of my own emotions, before I could even listen to what she had to say.

I turned and stared at her. I tried to speak, but stopped myself. _How could I do this without freaking out?_ Not only had she thrown me into a rage, but she had Edward so worked up that he had to leave. He was aroused and full of desire, but the most alarming part was how much he wanted her blood. His emotions were all over the place, and feeling his thirst for her made my own throat burn.

"Bella? What were you thinking?"

"I thought if he rejected me, I could make him see that we weren't meant to be." I felt her embarrassment over her failed plan.

"And what? You'd just end things, and he would accept us being together?" I hated to admit it, but Alice was right; she could be so absurd.

"I'm sorry Jasper," she looked up at me, and I saw the tears beginning to overflow from the corners of her eyes.

"Bella," I sighed, as I sat down next to her, taking her hand in mine. "Do you not realize how dangerous that was? On so many levels."

I felt her confusion. _She had no idea._

"First of all," I said. "Do you know how hard it was for me to sit back and listen to the two of you? To feel the lust? And when you started screaming no, it took every ounce of control I had not to burst in here and kill him."

"It wasn't his fault," she pleaded. "I had a dream about you, and when I woke up I was…" she blushed.

"Aroused?"

"Very," I felt her embarrassment. "Edward knew it, so I thought if I pushed him, he would turn me down, and I could make him see that I wasn't what he wanted."

"But, that didn't happen, did it?"

She shook her head.

"Edward does want you, more than he has ever wanted anyone, but that's the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"Your blood overwhelms him, so he stays controlled around you. He doesn't want to risk attacking you. I personally don't think he ever could, but tonight after he made the decision to give in to your temptation and you pulled away, well, he wasn't prepared for that. He wasn't in control of his instincts. When I walked in here the lust, the blood, and the arousal were all so strong."

"He wanted to bite me?" she asked, and I felt her fear.

"His throat was on fire, but understandably so. We're not rational creatures, Bella, and sometimes we have instinctual urges. Sometimes sex and blood go hand in hand for us."

"But you made love to me, and you were fine," she said.

"Fine," I laughed. "Bella, if you only knew how overwhelming it can be for me. My throat burns now, and we're not even kissing."

"You think about draining me?" I felt her shock.

"Oh, God, no! Drinking from you, tasting that sweet blood of yours, yes, but never draining you."

I felt her hurt.

"Bella," I said. "I would never hurt you."

"But you just said…" I moved closer to her and pressed my lips to hers, as I pulled her in my lap.

"I can't believe that Edward never discussed this with you." _Well, actually I could._

"I know he doesn't want to lose control with me, but I thought it was because he didn't want to physically hurt me, but then when you and I were intimate, I thought he was lying."

"Bella," I said. "He wasn't lying. It does take a tremendous amount of restraint and effort to not hurt you when we are making love, but I can do it because my love for you far outweighs any fear of hurting you."

"Edward loves me too."

"Yes, he does, but he's never been intimate with anyone, much less his singer."

I still felt her confusion. _Had Edward explained anything to her?_ Of course not, he was far too busy protecting her from our world.

"Bella," I asked, because I truly was curious. "How could you so willingly want to become one of us, when you don't even know anything about us?"

"I don't know," she looked away, and I felt her hurt. "I know that I want to be part of this family. I love you all so much."

I tilted her chin. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't become like us. I just think you need more information on what we are. Maybe a good, long talk with Carlisle is in order, when things settle down? The Cullens are a different breed. I know, because I wasn't always one of them."

"But you're still good," she touched my cheek. "I know that, Jasper."

"Thank you, your confidence in me is overwhelming. No one has ever had that much faith in me. I heard you defend me to Edward earlier."

"I meant it," she smiled, and then pulled my face to hers. "I love you. Please don't doubt that."

"I don't doubt it, but I'm very concerned about what our relationship is doing to you. I'm making your life miserable."

"No," she kissed me again. And I felt her love. "I'm just having issues dealing with what we did to Edward and Alice. I know I belong with you, but it's all happening so fast."

"Darlin', I'm manipulating your emotions all the time. That's not good."

"That's not true. It's been getting easier at school."

"That's because I'm there helping you," I told her. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get close enough to you to keep you calm and secure, but stay far enough away that Edward doesn't sense me? Luckily, he is so consumed with you and what is bothering you, that he seems oblivious to me and my thoughts about you. I know that I've slipped up on more than one occasion, but he doesn't seem to notice."

"Jasper," she said, as she snuggled deeper into my chest. "I'm sorry that I'm causing you so much trouble. I know we have to tell him."

I stroked her hair. "You're not any trouble. I like taking care of you, but life will be better once we're out in the open. Soon, sugar, very soon."

I didn't care what Alice saw or didn't see. I wasn't going to be able to put up with this charade much longer. I kissed her softly, but she quickly deepened the kiss. I felt her desire spike. I wanted her just as much as she wanted me, but now was not the time. I pulled away and smiled at her.

"Jasper," she whispered. "My dream was so intense. You slammed me up against a wall."

"Hmm," I smiled. "Darlin', I'll slam you against every wall in this house, once Victoria is taken care of and Edward knows the truth."

She sighed, and I could feel how exhausted she was.

"I'm going to help you sleep now," I said, as I sent her some calming vibes.

She gripped my shirt. "Don't leave me."

"Not ever," I kissed her head, and within seconds she was in a deep sleep, secure and safe in my arms.

We stayed this way for a few hours, but I couldn't bring myself to let her go. I glanced down at her, occasionally kissing her lips. I was so lost in her, that I didn't realize when Edward had made his way across the yard and up the wall to his room. I knew I could move to the other side of the room before he made his way in, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I couldn't let her go. That territorial instinct that I felt over her was kicking back in.

He climbed in the window and briefly stared at Bella, sleeping in my arms. Then he raised his gaze to me. I felt his jealousy, but he wasn't mad. I didn't even try to block my thoughts. I couldn't.

_I love her, Edward. I want her for myself…_

*****I have chapter one of "Innocence Lost", my new J/B and Darkward story posted, but the catch is...you have to follow me to fanfictionfrenzy dot com to read it! It's a new site where you can read and write. I hope you'll consider creating an account and submitting a story. The site is a WIP, but it's coming along.**

*****Fandom Celebration Day is February 1, 2010. Check out my blog for details!**

*****Oh, did I apologize for the major cliffy? lol**


	7. Chapter 7

*****Wow...that was a huge response to that last chapter. Thank you...I tried to respond back to all of you, but if I missed you, I did read your review!**

*****Sorry for the wait...you know I usually don't take this long.**

*****Thanks Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and TwiCarol for more than just being my betas!**

**EPOV**

Bella was on the floor, curled in a ball. She wanted me to touch her, didn't she? I smelled her desire and knew what she was dreaming about. I didn't misinterpret that. She initiated the contact, and I just wanted to give her what she wanted; what I wanted.

"Jasper," I spoke barely above a whisper, but I knew he heard me.

What would he think when he came in here and read my feelings? My throat was burning with an intensity I hadn't felt since that day Bella sat next to me in the biology lab. My desire for her triggered my thirst. I needed to get out of here, but I couldn't leave Bella this way.

Jasper came barging through the door. He only had eyes for Bella. I was sure her frantic emotions were crashing into him. I didn't have time to analyze it.

I got off the bed, picked Bella up and handed her to Jasper. "Help her," I pleaded.

Jasper had her calm in a second. She looked much more relaxed than she did a minute ago. He didn't even hesitate. It was as if he knew exactly what she needed.

"What happened to her?" Jasper said.

"A misunderstanding," I said. "It was my fault."

"No," Bella said. "I did it." _Was she really trying to blame herself for my stupidity?_

"Jasper," I said. "I have to go out for a bit. Can you stay with Bella?"

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I know you can feel what I'm feeling for Bella. I'm overwhelmed," I said.

Jasper nodded and I knew he felt my thirst.

"But, Jasper, if I leave you here with her, and you hurt her," I shook my head over having to leave Bella alone with him. "I will kill you, before you ever even sense me coming."

"Did you not seek my assistance?" Jasper said. I knew he was offended, but this was Bella we were talking about, and if there were anyone else in the house, I'd be leaving her with them.

"He would never hurt me, Edward." Bella said, and I knew she believed that. "Please go and do what you need to do."

I briefly stared at her. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll be back soon."

I jumped out of the window and took off running. I needed to hunt, needed to clear my head, and push back these dark thoughts. The urges that I was having were like nothing I had ever experienced. I had to fight so hard to suppress that evil beast. I wasn't sure what I wanted more; Bella's body or her blood. I wanted both. I wanted to take her, even when she told me to stop. I couldn't back off. My thoughts were way ahead of me. I knew I wanted to make love to her, but all I kept thinking was how I was going to bite into her and drain her dry.

_God! What was wrong with me? _I could never hurt her. I loved her.

After I hunted, I was able to regain some control and calm down. I climbed a tree and settled in on the highest branch that would hold me. My thoughts of Bella consumed me. Ever since we had returned from Italy, I tried so hard to do the right things for her. I tried to make right what I had done wrong by leaving. I wanted to ease her abandonment issues, but I knew the intimacy issues were a problem. She had been pulling away from me for weeks, but tonight she wanted to be close and connected to me. I wanted that too, but I knew there was the possibility that my vampire side could take over. Normally, I was the one holding off, and telling her no. I was in control, but tonight when she stopped, I couldn't comprehend that. My body had other ideas, and I wanted to have her in more ways than one.

I needed to go home and check on her. It was wrong for me to leave her that way, especially in her current state of mind, but if anyone could help her, it would be Jasper. I jumped down from the tree and ran back to the house. Bella was asleep. I could tell by her heart beat, and Jasper was still in the room with her. I scaled the wall and climbed through the window. She was curled up in his arms, pressed against his chest. She looked so peaceful and at ease. How could she have gotten so close to him without being afraid? He must have replaced her fears.

I looked at Jasper, and had a brief moment of jealousy. I knew he would sense that, so I quickly shifted my emotions. I was hardly paying attention to anything he was thinking, because I didn't want to see what happened after I left. If Bella broke down, I didn't want to experience it through Jasper's thoughts. I didn't want to know what he thought of me.

"Edward?" Jasper said. "Didn't you read my thoughts just now?"

"No." I looked at Bella. "I was thinking how natural she looks with you. It's almost like she belongs there."

"Her emotions were all over the place," he said. "I thought it would be better if I held her close."

"You don't have to explain," I said. "Obviously, I couldn't be there for her. I'm glad you were." I walked across the room and grabbed the throw from the couch. I put it over Bella's body. "She must be freezing, pressed up against you."

"I think that she's used to sleeping next to an ice cold vampire," he reminded me.

I smiled, but not because I was happy. "I've failed her again."

"Do you want to talk about it? I know I'm not Carlisle, but I can feel what you're experiencing."

"Didn't she tell you what happened? I thought I was doing what she wanted, but then she changed her mind, and I couldn't stop."

"That's natural for us," he said. "We can't always control our instincts. Remember Bella's birthday?"

I shuddered at the memory. "She shouldn't be in our world. It's wrong."

"It's her choice," he said quietly, as he looked down at her. He lifted his hand as if to stroke her cheek, but then he suddenly stopped and dropped it to the bed.

"She's so young, but so stubborn," I shook my head. "She doesn't fully understand what our kind can be like. We're not the best representation of what a vampire should be."

"She's encountered James, Laurent, and the Volturi. She knows more than any other human, but I agree she doesn't know enough about us, because you have sheltered her."

"I was trying to protect her," I defended my actions. "Lot of good it did me, though. She's losing her mind, isn't she? I'm the cause of that."

"It's not your fault," he closed his eyes and shook his head. "I played a part in all of this too."

"Jasper," I said. "What happened at her birthday couldn't be helped. You acted on instinct, because that is what we are."

"Edward," he said.

"No," I held up my hand, because I didn't want to know how far gone she was. I didn't want to know how unstable her mind really was. "I have a lot of thinking to do."

"About Bella?"

"Jasper," I said, and I hated to admit this. "I love her, but I've made a huge mistake. I know you feel it in her emotions. She can't handle this life. It's too much for her." I thought for a moment... _Alice._

"Why are you so confused all of a sudden?" He asked, as he monitored my emotions.

"Why hasn't Alice seen what's happening to Bella? Shouldn't she be able to see what's to become of her?"

"Alice has been a bit preoccupied with our break up, and trying to see what Victoria is planning. Maybe what's going on with Bella can be easily resolved."

"Yes," I said. "I think I can resolve it."

"How?"

"After tonight, she'll have to see that she doesn't belong in our world. I know something has changed for her, but she won't tell me what. When she pulled away tonight, I think she realized that she doesn't want me after all. She may have finally come to her senses, and realized that she doesn't want to spend her life with a vampire."

"Edward," Jasper warned. "Don't put words in her mouth."

"I won't." I looked at my beautiful Bella, sleeping so comfortably in my brother's arms. "Jasper, she looks content."

"She is," he said. "She's in a deep sleep."

"If it's not too much to ask," I said. "Will you stay with her? In case she wakes up and needs you to calm her?"

"Of course," he said. "I'll do whatever she needs."

"Thank you," I said. "You've been a huge help tonight and I appreciate it."

"Edward," he said, as he looked down at Bella. "Don't thank me."

I looked at him for a moment, but I didn't have the energy to analyze him. I headed downstairs to my piano and began to play her lullaby. This was all getting to be too much for her, and I intended to put an end to it.

**BPOV**

I woke up on my side, and felt him pressed against my back. I didn't remember Jasper leaving and Edward coming back. I dreaded having to look in his eyes and see his hurt over what had happened last night. He knew I was awake, because he wrapped his arms tightly around my body and pressed his lips into my hair.

"I'm sorry about last night," I whispered.

"I'm not."

I rolled over and looked at him in complete shock. "What are you doing in Edward's bed?"

"He asked me to stay with you and keep you calm," he smiled. "Although, I don't think he had this in mind." He gently kissed my lips.

I quickly sat up. "Jasper, this is too dangerous."

"Oh," he smiled, as he moved next to me. "Now you're concerned about what is dangerous? Deliberately seducing a vampire into rejecting you, was that dangerous?"

"Very," I admitted. "But, now I know."

"Hmm," he rolled his eyes, and tried to kiss me again. I pressed my hand to his chest, and tried to push him away.

"Do you really think that you can move me?"

"No," I giggled. "But, not here. I don't feel right, especially after what happened last night. I have to tell him."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem."

"What do you mean?"

"He knows things aren't right between the two of you, and judging from his emotions, he's trying to figure out a way to end things. He doesn't want to continue to hurt you."

"Really?"

"It doesn't let us off the hook," he said. "But it may make things easier, until we get this Victoria issue resolved."

"What should I do?"

"Let him speak his mind. Don't offer too much information. I need to speak with Alice, and see if she's had any new visions."

I got up and started to pace the room. I felt so bad about the whole situation. I didn't want Edward to take the blame for this.

Jasper was by my side in a second, rubbing my shoulders. "Bella," he said. "You have to hold it together for me."

I immediately felt calmer.

"I'm going to go take a shower. I need some time to think."

"Edward will probably want to talk to you, when you're finished. I'll go for a quick hunt, but I won't be far."

"Jasper," I turned to face him. "I can do this for us."

"I know you can," he kissed my cheek. "I just worry about you."

I took a quick shower, and realized that I needed to go find Edward and end this the right way. I couldn't let him go on thinking that this was his fault. We weren't meant to be, and I wanted to let him know that he wasn't responsible.

I walked back into his room and found him standing in the corner, by the window, waiting for me. His eyes were so vacant. I recognized that look. It was the same look he had when he left me standing in the forest last September.

**JPOV**

I stood outside by the trees that bordered the backyard. I knew that Bella and Edward needed this time to part ways. I also knew it was wrong to let Bella allow Edward to end things without telling him the truth, but it seemed like the best solution for now. I would tell him the truth, as soon as we got rid of Victoria. I came so close last night, but I knew he was in no shape to be reading my thoughts. His only concern was for Bella. At least we had that in common.

_Alice?_

I turned and saw her standing behind me. "What are you doing back here?" She was afraid and overflowing with stress.

"Jazz," she said, and I could tell she had been worrying. She was drained and worn out.

"You had a major vision," I said. I knew, from years of experience, when Alice had too much going on in her mind.

She smiled. "You know me so well."

"What is it? It was important enough for you to run back here."

"Carlisle offered to take me back, but I didn't want to have to explain, so I told him I needed to run to clear my head."

"That didn't work, though."

"No, the more I ran, the stronger and more detailed the vision became. We can stop this. We have to stop this. Where are Bella and Edward?"

"Up in his room. Why?"

"Is he ending things with her?" She panicked.

"Yes," I said. "Is that what the vision was about?"

"We have to stop them." She headed for the house.

I grabbed her arm, "No! This is what has to happen and you know it."

She pulled out of my hold. "You don't understand."

"You said that we couldn't tell Edward about me and Bella, but if Edward ends things, then there would be no reason that it would split the family."

"She's going to tell him about the two of you. He won't handle it well, and the family will take sides. You're wasting time. I have to stop her."

"Why?" I demanded. "What happens?"

"Carlisle and Esme stand with Edward. They still love you, but they can't understand how you and Bella could do this."

It was no surprise that they would side with Edward. "Carlisle would eventually understand."

"No," she said. "He's not going to get the chance?" I felt her grief.

"What do you mean?"

"Rose and Emmett will side with you," she said.

"And where does that leave you?" I asked.

"You are missing the point. With the family divided, we won't all stay in Forks. That will be Victoria's opportunity."

"Bella?" I asked, as a growl escaped my lips.

"Victoria comes here and she catches Carlisle off guard," she stopped and shook her head. She was sobbing internally.

"What are you saying?" Her emotions were projecting onto me, and I needed to know what she saw. I was becoming impatient.

"She kills him. He dies alone, Jasper. If we don't stop Bella from confessing to Edward, we're not only going to lose this family, we're going to lose the whole reason we came together in the first place."

"No!" I said. "I can't let what I have done be the reason Carlisle dies."

"Then help me stop her," Alice said. "We can stop this from happening, if we can keep this family intact long enough to destroy Victoria."

I nodded in agreement, but then I heard Bella scream out in frustration. I felt her pain and anger. It consumed me, and I had this sudden urge to protect her.

I started toward the house.

"Are we too late, Alice?" I asked.

"You better hope not. If she tells him the truth, she sets this whole vision in motion."

*****Edward's going to find out soon. I promise... I just need to build a bit more. **

*****For those of you who are following "Innocence Lost" on fanfictionfrezy dot com, chapter two is now posted. Thanks for reading that one, too!**

*****Voting has begun for I Get Off in Volterra... .net/u/2160551/I_Get_Off_in_Volterra_Contest#**


	8. Chapter 8

*****Thanks again to all of you who are reading and responding. I couldn't write these stories without your support!**

*****Thanks Kathy and Carol (I apologize for my constant comma fail!)**

**BPOV**

"Bella," Edward said, as I walked into the bedroom.

I suddenly became anxious. I needed to busy myself to hold it together, so I started making the bed. I felt his cold hands on my shoulders. He gave me a gentle squeeze.

"Love," he whispered in my ear. "We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk about what happened last night."

He turned me around and sighed, "We have to." He stared into my eyes, and I knew he desperately wanted to read my mind. For once, I wished he could, because then he would know what I had done. But, he would also know that I loved him and always would, just not the way he loved me.

He sat down on the bed and pulled me into his lap. I always felt so secure in his arms, but now I just felt guilty. I fidgeted.

"Bella," he said. "What happened last night..."

I cut him off, "It was my fault. I confused you."

"Don't blame yourself. You had every right to change your mind. I should have stopped when you asked me to."

If he kept blaming himself, this was going to be so much harder. I was already coming undone. I needed Jasper. I felt my emotions starting to take over, and I wouldn't be able to get myself under control without him.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispered. "I never should have come back from Italy."

I should have agreed, but I found that little admission only angered me. He was doing it again. He promised he wouldn't leave until I ordered him away, but here he was, dumping me again.

"It's not that I don't love you," he said.

_He wasn't actually going there again, was he?_

"I won't leave Forks again," he assured me. "I won't take my family from you, but after what happened last night, I think it would be best if we took a break and I gave you a chance to think things over. I'm still going to be here for you, but I need the distance."

My anger and frustration started to build. I knew that he was giving me exactly what I wanted, but he wasn't even trying to spare my feelings. I had been hiding what I had done with Jasper because I didn't want to hurt him, and here he was, doing exactly what he said he would never do again.

"We're from two different worlds," he continued. "We're just not compatible."

_Oh, if he only knew just how compatible Jasper and I were. Maybe I should enlighten him._

"It was wrong of me to even try to keep you in this life, to think that you could handle it. How could you? You're only human and this," he motioned between the two of us, "just isn't natural."

He just kept talking, and I don't even think he realized that I hadn't said a word. He was speaking his mind, just as he had done that day in the forest, and he wasn't going to give me my say.

"I can take you home now," he said.

"Are you kidding me?" I said.

"Excuse me?" He was shocked. I could see that in his expression.

"You think you can say what you have to say and send me on my way? I don't get a say?" I yelled.

"Bella," he pushed the hair from my face, but I pulled away. "I don't want to upset you any more than I already have. You haven't been right for a couple of weeks. You're all over the place."

"I'm not crazy!" I jumped out of his lap.

"I didn't say you were. I'm just trying to make this as easy as possible," he said.

"Well," I said. "At least this time you didn't leave me in the woods. Cold and alone."

"Bella," he said. "I don't want to hurt you, but if you think about what I'm saying, you'll see I'm right."

"You're right and I'm wrong," I said. "Because you are always right when it comes to us."

"No," he said. "I proved that last night."

"I've tried to be everything that you needed, but it was never enough. I took you back after what you did to me. I chose you over Jake. He was there for me when you weren't, but as soon as you came back, I did everything I could to please you."

"I know that, Bella," he said, as he came toward me. "I love you, honestly I do, but it's not going to work."

I backed away from him and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I couldn't breathe. _Jasper!_ I really needed him. "Don't you think I know it's not working? It hasn't been working for months, but I tried for you. I tried because you seemed so genuine and sincere, and you seemed truly sorry for leaving me last year."

"I am sorry," he said.

"Shut up!" I yelled. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I may not have done things right. I know I made mistakes and did things that I can't take back, but your heart was important to me. Do I mean nothing to you?"

"Of course, you mean everything to me," he said, as he tried to take my hand.

"Don't touch me! You're ending things with me again, and you're assuming I get no say. You are wrong! You need to know what I've done. You need to know that you are not in control of us. Damn you, Edward. Why?"

"Bella, you're distraught. You need to calm down," he grabbed my arm and tried to sit me back on the bed.

"I said don't touch me!" The tears started to stream down my face.

"Bella, please don't cry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I take it all back. "

"What?" I screamed.

"I'm wrong," he said. "We'll find a way to work it out."

"You're staying with me out of pity, because you think I'm losing my mind. I'm perfectly sane. I know what I want!" I was hysterical now, and I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing this, but I couldn't believe he was willing to hurt me again, after I was trying to protect him. I was hurting Jasper to spare Edward, and here Edward was, throwing me away again._ I was such an idiot. _

"I don't think you are crazy, Bella," he said. "I just think you are going through a difficult time."

"And your way of helping me through this difficult time is to dump me?"

"I'm not dumping you," he said.

"Then what the hell are you doing?"

"I was trying to help you," he said.

"I don't need your help. You just do what you do best and leave," I hissed. I knew this wasn't his fault. I was acting out of guilt, because I should have ended things with him before I even slept with Jasper.

"I said I wouldn't leave you and I meant it," he said, and he looked as if he was going to cry. "You need help and I can't do it alone."

"I don't what your help! I want ..." just before I could finish Alice and Jasper came bursting through the door. Judging from the looks on their faces, they weren't happy.

Jasper stared at me and I felt a wave of calm come over me. He had me so relaxed that I forgot what I was even doing. "Jasper, I'm sorry."

"Bella?" Edward said, but then he looked at Alice and Jasper, and I started to panic because I knew if Alice was here, she must have had a vision about me telling Edward the truth. "What are you doing home?"

"I had a vision," Alice said.

"I have to tell him," I screamed out. "Let me tell him!"

"Jasper," Alice pleaded.

Jasper walked toward me and took my arm, "I'm sorry, Bella," Those were the last words I heard.

**JPOV**

I took Bella by the arm and apologized for manipulating her into sleep. I scooped her up and cradled her in my arms. She was out.

"What the hell are you doing to her?" Edward said. "And what did she want to tell me?"

"She was overwhelmed and distraught. She can't handle this anymore," I said. "Her mind is going to shut down."

He stared at me and then at Alice. I was sure Alice was doing everything she could to block him from her thoughts. She was working just as hard as I was.

"What the hell are you two hiding?" He asked. "I can't hear anything but jumbled thoughts and nonsense."

"Stay out of our heads," Alice said. "And I'll explain."

"You better start explaining," Edward said.

"I had a vision," Alice said. "You were ending things with Bella, but now is not the time for that."

"Why? What have I set in motion?" He asked, and I felt his concern for Bella.

"Nothing," Alice said. "I stopped this before it got out of hand."

"Why didn't you just call me when you realized what I was planning? You didn't need to come home." Edward said, but I knew that Alice needed to get here so that we could stop Bella.

"Edward," Alice said. "She's losing her mind."

"What?" I said. "You never told me you saw that."

"I only told you the part of the vision you needed to know at the time. We needed to stop Edward from breaking up with Bella," Alice said.

This was all getting too confusing. If it weren't for her stupid vision about Victoria killing Carlisle, I would tell Edward right now and then I would take Bella away, but how could I do that? What if those actions caused Carlisle to die? I was stuck in this lie until we could find Victoria.

"What about Bella?" Edward said.

"I saw Charlie commit her," Alice said.

I suddenly felt sick, as I looked down at the love of my life. I would take her away from here, before I let them lock her away. I could manipulate her into being well. She would be well once we stopped this lie.

"No!" Edward said. "I won't let that happen."

"Edward," Alice said. "I know that you don't want to hurt her, but she is extremely fragile right now."

"I was trying to help her by letting her go," Edward said.

"I know," Alice said. "And, I think she does need the space from you, but we have so much going on right now."

"Victoria," I said.

"Jasper is right," Edward said. "What was I thinking, trying to break up with her, while all of that is going on?"

"We all have to stick together," Alice said as she looked at me, and I felt her determination over keeping the family together. She was right; I wouldn't let anything happen to Carlisle or Bella.

"I'm going to take Bella home," I said. "I'll stay with her until I wake her up."

"Jasper," Edward said. "I'm sorry to do this to you again. You seem to have to clean up the messes I make with her."

"It's fine," I said. "I don't want anything to happen to her either."

I carried her down the steps, but stopped just at the bottom. "What are we doing to you?" I said, but I knew she couldn't hear me. "I swear, Bella, I'll make this right. I'll never let anything happen to you, and I'll never leave you."

I started for the door, when I sensed Carlisle coming in.

He opened the door and saw me standing there, with Bella in my arms. I felt his anxiety. "Is she hurt?" He went to reach for her.

"No," I said. "I put her in a deep sleep. She had an incident with Edward, and she needed my assistance."

"Does this have to do with Alice's vision?" He asked.

"Yes," I said. "Is that why you're home?"

"I was worried about Alice, and I couldn't focus on hunting. I needed to come back and make sure she was okay."

"You're a good father, Carlisle," I told him, and I knew we had to keep this lie up to protect him.

"I'm your father, too," he reminded me.

"I know," I felt his suspicion.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Yes, Carlisle," I said. "There is, but I can't right now."

"Jasper," he said. "I want to help you."

"And, I want you to," I said. "I promise, I will tell you everything as soon as I can."

"I hope it's sooner rather than later," he looked down at Bella.

Edward and Alice came into the foyer. "Carlisle?" Edward said.

"I was worried about Alice," he said.

She ran over to him and kissed his cheek, and then quickly embraced him. I felt how scared she was over the idea of losing him. That vision of Victoria killing him hit too close to home for her.

"I missed you too, Alice," he laughed.

"Thanks for coming after me," she said. "But, I'm fine. I may have over reacted. I've convinced Edward to come hunting with us."

"Really? I thought you didn't want to leave Bella," Carlisle said, as he looked at her in my arms. Again, I felt his suspicions.

"I don't, but she needs some space," he said. "Jasper, will you look after her?"

"Yes," I said. "You go. I'll keep her safe and secure."

"Jazz," Alice said. "Since Charlie thinks she's staying here for the weekend, why don't you just take her back upstairs? It might be easier to take care of her here."

"I guess you're right," I said. "If she wants to go home when she wakes up, I'll take her."

"Jasper," Edward said. "Call me if she needs me." I felt his remorse.

I nodded, and then they left. I ran Bella up the stairs, and to the place I had wanted her all weekend. _My bed._ I gently put her under the covers, and then I curled in next to her. I began stroking her hair and slowly pulling her out of her sleep.

She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "I love you," she said, as she reached up and touched my face. I closed my eyes and took in the warmth.

"I love you, too," I said. "I'm so sorry that this is causing you so much pain."

She pressed her lips to mine and gently kissed me. "I want to be with you."

"I know, Bella," I said. "But what happened with Edward? I thought we agreed to wait to tell him."

"We did," she said, and I felt her embarrassment. "I was mad because he was breaking up with me again."

"But, isn't that what you want?"

"Yes," she said. "I know it's stupid, but I've been keeping our secret, because I didn't want to hurt him, but he had no problem hurting me."

"Bella," I said. "Not everyone thinks like you. Edward thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go."

"I know, but I felt like it was another way for him to be in control, and I didn't like that."

I pulled her closer to me. "I want him to let you go," I said. "I need you."

"Why did you stop us?"

"Alice had a vision, and we couldn't let you tell him. We can't split this family."

"What happened?"

"It doesn't matter now," I said. "All that matters is that you are safe, and I'll keep you that way." I wasn't about to burden her with the Carlisle vision. Her fragile state of mind wasn't going to hang on much longer. I felt that.

"I want this to be over. I feel like I have no control over things. I can't explain it, Jasper, but I feel so lost and confused. I only feel good when I'm with you."

"Well, you have me tonight," I said. "Edward went hunting with the others."

"He left us alone?" I felt her shock.

"Yes," I said. "He knows you need my gift."

"You all know that there is something wrong with my mind, don't you?"

"There is nothing wrong with your mind that can't be fixed. You are having a hard time dealing with what's happening right now, and I know once we get it all worked out, you'll be fine. We'll be happy, Bella, I promise."

"I'm always happy when I'm with you," she said, as she leaned in and kissed me. I tangled my fingers in her hair and pulled her closer to me, deepening the kiss. My desire began to spike out of control and I had to rein it in, before I projected on to her.

I pulled away, "I'm sorry," I said. "There's so much going on, and you don't need this too."

"This is exactly what I need," she whispered, as she ran her tongue along my bottom lip. "I need you."

I stared into her eyes, and quickly monitored her emotions. I felt her love and need for me, overtaking any other emotion she had. Her eyes were practically pleading with me.

I pulled her back to my lips, "I love you and I'll always be here for you, darlin'," I started trailing kisses down her neck, as I unbuttoned her shirt.

She reached for the hem of my shirt, and started to lift it up over my stomach. I sat up and pulled it over my head. Her lust spiked as she stared at my chest. I smiled at her and she blushed, when she realized she had been caught.

"That's okay," I said, as I slipped her shirt from her body. "My desire increases for you every time I take your clothes off, too." I lowered myself back over top of her and slid her bra straps down; placing open-mouth kisses on each of her shoulders. I crawled behind her, resting my body against the headboard, and pulled her closer to my chest. I reached around and unclasped her bra, slipping it from her body. She shivered against me, as she closed her eyes and rested her head against my shoulder.

I slowly ran my hands down her stomach and to the button of her jeans. I took her ear lobe in my mouth and gently sucked on it, as I undid her jeans and lowered the zipper. "I want to touch you," I whispered into her ear, as I slid my fingers inside her jeans. She lifted her hips off the bed, and slipped them down her legs and off her body, kicking them to the floor.

"Touch me any way you want," she moaned. "I'm yours."

Those words made me impossibly hard. I pressed my erection into her back, "See what you do to me?" I licked and sucked her neck, as I moved my fingers under her lacy black panties and stroked her slit.

"Jasper..." she moaned, as she arched into my hand. I loved when she made those sexy little noises.

I pushed my fingers into her center, as I gripped her inner thigh with my other hand. I began pumping in and out of her, as I allowed my thumb to concentrate on her clit. She spread her legs further apart, and started rocking into my fingers.

"Jasper... don't stop," she screamed out, as she continued to move in rhythm with my fingers. "It feels so good..."

I had no intentions of stopping. I ran my free hand back up her stomach and to her breast. I gently squeezed it, before rubbing my thumb over her nipple. I could feel her muscles contracting, and then I felt her climax starting to build. She was lost in a wave of lust and ecstasy, and I couldn't help but be affected by it. My cock was straining against my pants, begging to break free. Why I chose to do this first, I would never know. I needed to be inside her, and soon.

I started moving my fingers at a faster pace, as I let my hips move into her, creating the friction I so desperately needed.

"I'm going to..." she screamed out her release, as she continued to push against my fingers. Her breathing was rapid and her heart was pounding out of her chest, but I could no longer wait.

I kissed the back of her neck, as I rid myself of my jeans and boxers. She pushed her back into my erection, and I let out a low growl.

She rolled over and straddled my hips. "That's the sexiest thing, when you growl like that."

I did it again, as I grabbed her hair and pulled her lips to mine. I could feel her juices dripping onto my thigh. I ran my hand down her spine and rested it on her backside. "Bella," I said. "I need to fuck you right now." I didn't mean to be so vulgar, but that animalistic side was taking over, and I was having trouble controlling it. I ripped those little panties right off her body.

"So then fuck me," she whispered, as she bit my lip. I growled again, because I knew she liked it, and then I sat up and started to roll her on her back, but she placed her hand on my shoulder and nudged me back down. "I want to do it like this."

_Fuck! _She wanted to ride me. I laid flat on my back, and let her lower herself on to me. It was only the second time we were together, so she took it painfully slow. She slid down me, inch by fucking inch. It took every bit of self control, not to grab her shoulders and impale her. My eyes rolled in the back of my head, and I moaned out her name.

I gripped her hips and started to gently move her up and down, until she found a rhythm. It didn't take her long to figure things out. I opened my eyes and looked up at this beautiful girl staring back at me. The love that she felt for me was rolling off of her in massive waves. It was almost enough to make me forget what we were doing.

_I said almost..._ Before I knew it, my own orgasm was beginning to build. Bella made me feel like a teenager. I never lost it so quickly before, but watching her ride me was an experience all in itself. She was beautiful, all caught up in her own pleasure. I could feel the nerves that she had when we first started slowly give way to a quiet confidence. It took my breath away.

I grabbed her hips and stilled her movements, as I thrust upward. She threw her head back and screamed out her release. I flipped her onto her back and moved in and out of her, as hard and as fast as her body could handle.

"Bella!" I crushed my lips against hers and released deep within her core. My body shuddered over and over again. I gently pulled out of her, rolled onto my back and pulled her onto my chest.

She was still breathing heavy, but she managed to speak. "Jasper," she said. "I never knew that anything could feel that good."

"I know, darlin'," I smiled into her hair. "It was amazing."

She lazily traced circles on my chest with her fingertips. I felt her mood shift and her emotions drop.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I wish it could be like this all the time," she sighed.

"It will be," I said, as I stroked her hair.

"I want to be able to stay with you," she said, and I knew she was crying now. I felt her tears falling onto my chest. "I hate being away from you. Pretending we're nothing to one another."

"Bella," I said. "Once this is resolved, I'm taking you away from here."

"Where will we go?"

"Anywhere you want to go," I said. "Wherever you want to go to college, that's where we will go."

"Won't you miss the Cullens?" She asked.

"Yes," I couldn't lie. "I will, very much, but for now, it has to be this way. We can't expect to stay here. We're hurting Alice, and Edward will never accept us. I know the others will eventually come around, but for now, it has to be this way. Will you come with me?"

She propped herself up on her arms, and stared into my eyes. I felt that unconditional love. "I would go anywhere with you. It doesn't matter where, as long as we're together." She pressed her lips to mine and gently kissed me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She shivered.

"You're cold," I said.

"I'm okay," she said, but her teeth were practically chattering.

I pulled her out of the bed and carried her to my bathroom.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"I'm going to draw you a warm bath," I said.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, and began placing soft kisses on my cheeks and lips. "Will you join me?"

"How else will I wash your back?"

I felt her desire spike.

I laughed as I shook my head at my insatiable girl.

_*******_**Jaspersnaughtygirls dot blogspot dot com is sponsoring ****a contest... Show Us Your Dark Side. We begin accepting entries on 2/1/10. We want you to write us a wicked o/s featuring any of the Twilight men. They just have to be dark, dominant, controlling or tortured. They should be sexy, too! Details are on my profile page. **


	9. Chapter 9

*****Thanks for reading! I hope you like where I'm headed!**

*****Again...I couldn't get these chapters out as fast as I do without the cooperation of Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and TwiCarol!**

**BPOV**

The next few weeks flew by in a blur. I wasn't even sure what day it was half the time, and I didn't even know how I got through graduation. Edward constantly hovered, and I was sure it had to do with the vision Alice had that day she and Jasper broke in the room and stopped me from confessing to Edward. They wouldn't tell me what she had seen, and that was fine. I didn't want to know. Jasper said that by him stopping me from telling the truth, Alice's vision wouldn't come to fruition. I trusted him.

I missed Jasper. With Edward constantly around, it was very difficult for Jasper to get to me. That was starting to take a toll on me. I missed him very much and I desperately needed to be with him, but with him not being close, he couldn't manipulate me. My emotions were starting to get the better of me.

I sat at the kitchen table, lost in thought. While Edward found the need to monitor me, he was respectful about it. He no longer tried to kiss me and when he spent the night, he sat in the rocking chair, never setting foot near the bed anymore. I felt bad for him, but by creating this distance, it would only make things easier in the end.

"Bells?"

I snapped up and looked at Charlie. I had forgotten he was still here. He was all packed and ready to go on a weekend fishing trip. Billy and some of the others insisted that he go with them. I concluded that the wolves knew Victoria was close and she would soon make her move, and they wanted to remove Charlie from the equation to keep him safe.

"Bella?" Charlie said again. "You are so distant. Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"No," he said. "You haven't been fine for weeks. I haven't seen you this way since Edward left. Are you two having problems again?"

"No," I shook my head and fought back the tears. "It's nothing."

"Bella," he said. "Maybe you should go visit your mother?"

"No," I said. "I'm not leaving him." I meant Jasper, but I couldn't tell Charlie that.

He shook his head. "Do you want me to stay home this weekend?"

"No," I said. "You go. You've been looking forward to this."

"Don't you have anything to look forward to?" He asked, and I saw the concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, Dad," I said, and thought about Jasper. "I do."

"Fine," he mumbled. "Call me if you need me."

"I will," I faked a smile. "Have fun."

I cleaned up my breakfast dishes, called to check in with Edward to let him know I was at home, and I would stay there until he came over later today. The Cullens and the wolves had been preoccupied with finding Victoria this week. Apparently they had picked up her scent, just at the edge of town. She was getting closer, and while that should have been terrifying to me, it wasn't. I wanted this over with, so I could get on with my life. My life with Jasper.

I had plans for us. I wanted him to take me away from here, like he promised. I wanted to travel with him and share good things together. The more I thought about this life, the sadder I became. In order to realize our dreams, we had to hurt so many. What would Carlisle and Esme think about what I had done to Edward? I loved them as much as I loved my own parents, but I had betrayed them too. Rosalie and Emmett wouldn't understand either. And then, there was Edward and Alice. This wasn't fair to either of them. I was going to tear apart this amazing family. They had lived together in peace for so long, and now I was going to blow their world to pieces. These were the thoughts that overtook my mind every day, and without Jasper, it was getting harder and harder to function.

I realized I had left my phone in the car, and as much as I wanted to leave it there, I knew Edward would only come here faster if I didn't answer it. I opened the passenger side door and retrieved it from the seat. As I stood back up to shut the door, I felt two arms snake around my waist.

"Did you miss me, darlin'?"

I quickly turned around and jumped into his arms. "Jasper!" I screamed. "You're here!"

"I am," he smiled, as he gently kissed my lips.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. "I can't stand being away from you."

"I know," he said, as he carried me over to the porch and sat down on the step, with me in his lap. "Edward never leaves you alone, so it's been really hard getting to you. I can't stay long because I need to help with the search for Victoria, but I had to see you."

"Are you close to finding her?"

"Yes," he said, as he stroked my hair. I missed his touch so much. "She got pretty close to town last night, but she is so fast. We did manage to take out two more newborns, so she doesn't have much of an army. Maybe five? The wolves could probably handle this on their own, but Carlisle has suggested to the pack that we all take shifts to expedite the process. He was out all last night, and is headed back to the house now to check in with the hospital. I'm taking his place."

"Are any of you in danger?" I couldn't handle losing any one of them.

"No," he shook his head. "Her newborns are stupid and can't stay focused. That's why we're able to get them so easily, but she is very cunning and elusive. We're having a harder time keeping track of her. She's not as fast as Edward though, so if we can pick up her scent when he is there, he'll catch her."

I shuddered at that thought. I didn't want to think about him going up against her.

"I know you are worried," Jasper said, as he ran his lips down my cheek and to my jaw. "Nothing will happen to him."

"It's not just him I'm worried about," I took his face in my hands. "I love you, and I couldn't handle it if anything were to happen to you. I'm barely hanging on as it is."

"This will all be over soon, and then we'll work on getting you better," he said. "I promise, Bella, I'll make it better."

I pressed my lips to his, and he quickly deepened the kiss. My insides were doing flips, and I could feel the wetness beginning to take over between my legs. I shifted myself so that I could straddle him, and I ground my center into his erect member. A low growl erupted from his chest.

"Do we have time to go inside for a few minutes?" I asked.

"I'd want more than a few minutes, darlin'," he whispered, as he ran his tongue along my neck.

"I'll take whatever I can get," I said, as I ran my fingers through his wavy blond locks.

Suddenly he stopped, and I felt his body stiffen. He kept his lips on mine, as he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Jacob?"

"What?" I asked. I was clearly confused.

"Bella?" I was startled by his deep voice. I jumped out of Jasper's lap and turned to face him.

"Jake? What the hell are you doing here?" I asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Trying to protect you from the bloodsuckers," he said. "But it looks as if I'm a bit late."

Jasper stood up and moved me slightly behind him. "Don't get angry with her around."

"Jake? Why are you angry?" I asked.

"Well, it looks like I'm not anymore," he stared at Jasper. "Thanks to your boyfriend."

"I won't let you lose control around her," Jasper said. "I know you don't like me, but we both love her, so we need to find a way to get along."

Jake let out a frustrated breath. "You're right," he said. "It was just weird seeing the two of you, all tangled together. I've never gotten used to her and Edward."

Jasper nodded. "I understand."

"Jake," I said. "Why are you here?"

"I do a sweep of the property every hour or so," he said. "I'm leaving Seth here, so that we have someone in this area."

"Guarding me?" I asked.

"Not really," he smiled, but I knew he was lying. "I just want to make sure we don't pick up her scent around here."

"That's a good idea," Jasper said. "I'm on my way to search now."

"Yes," Jake said. "Me too. We picked up the scent of some newborns, just on the main road into town. Edward and the fortune teller are headed that way."

"Alice?" I asked.

"Yes, Sam and I are going to join them."

"I'll meet up with Emmett, Rose and Esme," Jasper said. "Em and Rose have been out all night, and probably need a quick break to hunt."

"You'll be careful?" I asked, and I felt the tears filling in my eyes.

He wiped them away with his thumb, and sent me a calming vibe. "I'll call you in a few hours."

I smiled, and quickly kissed his cheek. He took off into the woods.

"Bella," Jake said. "You have to be more careful. I could just as easily have been Edward that found the two of you here."

"I know, Jake," I sighed. "But, I'm tired of hiding. I want to tell the truth."

"And, that is the best thing for you to do, but not now. If Edward finds out about you and Jasper, there is no telling what he will do. Now, I personally don't care if they kill each other, but I won't let them hurt you. I need to take care of Victoria, before I can protect you from two love-struck vampires." He grinned.

"They won't hurt me," I said. "But, I appreciate your concern."

"Just stay safe and don't do anything Bella stupid, before we get this resolved."

"I won't," I laughed. "How is Ava?"

"I haven't seen her much, but she seems to understand. I can't believe how connected we are. Once this crisis is over, things will be different. I feel like I'll finally be able to start my life."

"I know exactly what you mean," I said, but then I thought about the Cullens again. I was going to be happy, but not everyone else was.

"Look," he said. "I need to get going. Promise me, nothing stupid?"

Promise," I rolled my eyes.

He took off into the woods and left me alone. It was so quiet. I sat back on the steps and remembered my brief time with Jasper. Soon, I kept telling myself. I would be in his arms very soon.

I thought about what Jake had said, about starting his life after this Victoria ordeal. Maybe if I could get some reassurance, then I could feel better too. This secret was slowly eating away at me, and not being able to see Jasper wasn't helping. I needed to talk it out, and get the advice of the one person who probably mattered the most. Carlisle could help me sort through this. He just had to.

I ran in the house and grabbed my keys. I needed to head out of here, before Seth stopped me. I didn't need him telling Jake where I was going, and then risk Edward finding out that I had gone to talk to Carlisle. They would all stop me, before I had a chance to get to the main road. I looked around the property and saw no signs of Seth, so I jumped into my truck and headed to the Cullens.

**CPOV**

I headed home and took a quick shower. I had been out tracking Victoria all night, and needed to get home and check in at the hospital. My shift was starting in an hour and I knew I needed to go there, but my family also needed me. We had to stop Victoria, before she got to Bella. Speaking of which...

I heard her truck pull up in the driveway, and she approached the front door. She was alone. That was strange. _Why wasn't someone with her?_ I ran down the steps, and opened the door before she could knock

"Carlisle!" I could tell by her increased heart rate that I had startled her. "You scared me."

"Please come in," I took her hand and led her in the house. "Are you okay?"

She was so frail and distant these last few weeks. I knew something was troubling her and I wanted to help, but I needed her to come to me. I hoped that was what she was doing today.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she said in a low, tired voice.

"You could never be a bother to me," I said, as I led her upstairs and to my study. I sat on the couch next to her. "Are you ready to tell me what's on your mind?"

"I want to, but I'm so afraid of what you will think," she said, and I could feel her body start to shake. I took her hands in mine.

"Bella," I said. "You have been so understanding when it comes to my family. You saved Edward from the Volturi and you love us all so unconditionally, even Rosalie," I smiled. "I could never judge you. I consider you one of my own children, and I would treat you with the same respect I treat all of them."

She started to cry, "Carlisle," she whispered. "I've made some terrible mistakes, and I can't handle what I've done anymore."

"I can see that, Bella," I said. "I see how sad and distraught you are. We all can. Most of the family thinks that its the strain of Victoria taking it's toll on you, but that's not entirely it, is it?"

She shook her head and looked down at our joined hands. "I wanted to tell the truth, and I would have by now, but this Victoria thing has made it complicated, and then Alice had visions of the family being split and ..." she started to sob.

"Bella," I said. "It's not your fault you fell in love with Jasper."

She looked up at me and gasped. "How did you know?"

"There isn't much about my children that I don't know," I said. "I've been their father for a long time. I know when something is off."

She looked at me with shock and disbelief.

"I've been waiting for you or Jasper to come to me, but now I see that you were afraid to split the family at this difficult time. I don't know what Alice saw, that would make her think that it was okay for you to lie. I'm sure she had a good reason, but her visions are subjective and sometimes it's best to go with your heart. I would never turn my back on Jasper. I love him just as much as I do Edward, and while my heart breaks for Edward, I don't believe that you were meant for him."

"You don't?"

"He loves you, but he doesn't quite know what to do with you. Deep down, he knows that. He can't do the things that you have asked of him. He can't turn you, and I don't blame him for that. I'm not saying that you can't become one of us, but I understand why he can't be the one to do it."

"But, you said that you would turn me," she reminded me.

"And I would have, because that was what you wanted, and I wanted that for Edward," I admitted. "But, I usually don't offer that life to someone who has another choice."

"Edward never wanted that life for me," she said. "I kind of forced him into it."

"He loves you and wants you for eternity, but he'll never be the one who could willingly do it. I know my son, and he would live with that guilt for the rest of his existence."

"But," I said. "I want that life."

"But not with Edward," I said.

"No," she whispered.

"Edward feels that on some level," I said.

"I never meant to hurt him," she said. "But, with Jasper, it's different."

"I understand, but you and Jasper will have many fences to mend."

"I know, Carlisle," she said. "I came to you, because I couldn't hold it in any longer. I wanted you to tell me how awful I am for hurting your family, but instead you've accepted me."

"You can't control what your heart wants, and vampires don't make commitments lightly. Jasper must have felt a pretty strong pull toward you. I don't believe that he would ever hurt Alice, if he could have helped it."

"I didn't want to hurt Alice either," she said.

"I know that," I said, as I squeezed her hand. "This will all work out, but you and Jasper have to tell Edward the truth. Sooner is better."

"You're right," she said. "I don't want to wait any longer. He deserves to know."

"I'll stand behind the two of you, and I will try to make him see that this happened for a reason." I knew Edward would feel betrayed, but when he really thought about it, he would see that he wasn't meant for Bella. If she was his true mate, he would have no trouble wanting to turn her, or even make love to her.

"Thanks, Carlisle," she leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I feel better."

"Good," I said. "Now, why don't you stay here? I've got to go to the hospital, but Rose and Emmett should be home shortly. I'd feel better if they followed you back to your house, or you can just stay here with us."

"I think I'd like to stay here," she said. "If that's okay with you?"

"Of course," I smiled, "Bella, we'll get through this as a family. It won't be easy, but we'll get through it."

**BPOV**

Carlisle left for the hospital, and Emmett called to tell me that he and Rose were going for a quick hunt, and then they would be home. I curled up on the sofa in Carlisle's study and closed my eyes. A few minutes later, I felt a cool hand stroke my cheek. I was briefly confused, because I didn't know who it would be. I wanted it to be Jasper, but chances were that it was Edward. I slowly opened my eyes, and shot into a seated position. I never expected to see the vampire staring back at me.

"Victoria!" I said, as my voice cracked. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled at me, and her ruby red eyes were staring right through me. She didn't say anything.

"The Cullens will be home any minute," I said.

She cocked her head to the side, as she stroked my hair. She gracefully sat on the couch next to me, and pulled her knees into her chest.

I tried to get up, but she violently pulled me back down, eliciting a scream from my lips.

"You all just made it so easy for me," she laughed. "While the rest of your family is out searching for the false leads I've left, I strolled right in to Casa de Cullen. It's my lucky day, do you know why?"

I didn't answer.

"I came here for the good doctor," she laughed, and the high pitch hurt my ears. "I was going to take him and force Edward to trade for you, but you made it impossibly easy for me. I can skip a whole step."

"You're crazy," I said. "They'll kill you when they find you."

"Who said that they're going to find me?" she smiled. "When you turn up missing, they'll know exactly who took you. My revenge will be complete, but then that really wouldn't be that fun. No, Edward needs to watch as I kill you. A mate for a mate."

My eyes widened in shock, as I jumped up from the couch and headed for the door.

"Riley," Victoria called, and then suddenly a rather large vampire was standing in the doorway. "Why don't you help Miss Swan?"

He took a step toward me, and I screamed, "No! Please!"

The last thing I remember feeling was a sharp pain in the back of my head, before I collapsed into Riley's arms.

*****And, so it begins...**

*****Don't forget to enter the Show Us Your Dark Side Contest. We begin accepting entries on 2/1. Details are on my profile page.**

*****If you are following Innocence Lost on fanfictionfrenzy dot com...chapter three will be up in the next day or so. It features JPOV.**


	10. Chapter 10

*****Just a quick reminder about Alice's visions...they are subjective and can change at any time. She did see Carlisle taking sides, but only in that instance. She stopped Bella from telling Edward and that caused Jasper to carry Bella downstairs where Carlisle could see them together. This changed the course of the original vision. I hope that helps.**

*****Thanks to Kathy and Carol for keeping up with me. I told you it wasn't easy! lol**

**EPOV**

_Where the hell is she? _

I told her to keep her phone with her at all times. How was I supposed to know if she was okay, if she didn't answer the phone?

We had been searching for Victoria all afternoon and we had come up empty. We destroyed a few more newborns, but there was never any sign of her. We finally met up with Jasper. He had been searching with Esme, Rose and Emmett.

"Anything?" I asked.

"We took out another newborn," Jasper said. "She's setting a trap for us and using these newborns to distract us. They're disposable to her."

I nodded in agreement. The newborns were carrying something of Victoria's that would have her scent on it, and we were chasing after them. This had been going on for several days now.

"Where are the others?" Alice asked.

"Rosalie and Emmett went for a hunt, and Esme went back to the house," he said. "I'm headed there now."

"Why don't you go with him, Alice?" I said. "I need to go check on Bella."

Jasper's head snapped in my direction. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Why are you so concerned?"

"Bella isn't answering her phone and Alice can't see her," I said.

"Maybe she's with Jacob," Alice said.

"No," I said. "Jake went to meet up with Sam. I saw him on my way here."

"Something isn't right," I said. "I have to go."

"I'll go with you," Jasper said. "Alice, you should go home and stay with Esme. None of us should be alone. Victoria is too unpredictable, and I'm afraid that we may have figured out too late that she was setting us up."

"You're right," I said. "I think we should move Bella in with us, and grant Sam permission to allow a few members of the pack to patrol the property."

Just as Jasper nodded, my phone began to vibrate. "Maybe this is Bella," I said, as I pulled it from my pocket. I shook my head when I saw the display screen.

"Who is it?" Alice asked.

"Carlisle," I answered. "What is it?"

"Edward," he said. "You have to come home now."

"What is it?"

Jasper observed me, and I was sure he felt the panic rise within me. I knew something was wrong.

"It's Bella," Carlisle said. "Victoria has her."

"What?" I yelled, as I heard a low growl escape Jasper's chest.

"How do you know?" I asked, still not wanting to believe this could be true.

"I left Bella here at the house," he said. "I told her to wait for Rose and Emmett, but when they got home, they found Bella's truck in the driveway, and the house reeks of Victoria and an unidentified vampire. They have her."

I growled into the phone and then took off running to the house. Jasper and Alice were right behind me.

_What was Bella doing at my house without me? _

I ran through the trees and saw her truck in front of the house, just as Carlisle had said.

"Victoria!" Jasper said. "The whole property stinks of her!" _I'll kill that bitch and burn the pieces!_

"I'll get there first, Jasper," I pushed open the door and ran to Carlisle's study. I could smell Bella's scent overwhelming the room. This was the last place she had been. _Why was she here?_

"Edward," Esme said, as she hugged me.

I looked to Carlisle for his wisdom, but I could only find guilt and worry in his thoughts.

"It's not your fault," I said.

"I left her here," he said. "I should have waited until someone came home."

"How long has it been?" Jasper asked. He was so concerned for her, we all were.

"About two hours from the last time Carlisle saw her," Rose said. "Emmett called her and told her we would be home shortly."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Emmett said. "We should have come right home."

"It's not your fault," I said. "We didn't know."

"I should have seen it," Alice said. "Why didn't I see it?

"You can't see everything, Alice," Jasper said. "You've done the best you could, under the circumstances."

"No, Jazz," she said. "I haven't. I screwed this up in so many different ways. If I just would have let you be honest when Bella wanted to be, none of this would be happening now."

"What are you saying?" I asked, but before I could read her thoughts, my phone started to vibrate. "It's from Bella's phone." I said anxiously.

"Answer it," Jasper said. _Please let it be her._

"Hello," I said, knowing it wouldn't be Bella.

"Hello, Edward," Victoria said.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"I haven't killed her, yet," she laughed.

"What have you done with her?" I asked.

"She's here, but she can't really talk," she said. "I'm thinking you need to come and help her out. She's so confused."

Jasper growled again, and I heard the anger and anxiety coming from the others thoughts.

"If you hurt her..." I said, but she cut me off.

"Oh no, silly," she laughed. "I won't hurt her until you get here."

"This is between me and you," I said. "You let her go. She has nothing to do with this."

"Of course she does," she said. "A mate for a mate, remember?"

"No," I said. "That was James' fault. If he would have left Bella alone, we wouldn't have had to go after him. Bella is innocent in this."

"She tried to tell me that. Actually, she's huddled in the corner, shaking and chanting, he's not my mate, he's not my mate. It would be funny, if she wasn't so sad. She's trying to protect you, but I see right through it."

"I want her back," I said. "What do you want in return?"

"Edward," Carlisle said. "Don't promise her anything."

I shot a desperate look at Carlisle. I would give Victoria my soul, if it got Bella back safe.

"You should listen to your father," Victoria said. "There is no way out of this. So, just meet me and you can watch Bella die. I promise I won't lay a hand on her until you get here."

"Let me talk to her," I yelled.

"She's in no condition to talk," she said. "We can't get her to respond to us at all. Maybe I hit her too hard."

Now it was my turn to growl, "I'm going to kill you," I hissed.

"You can try, but you won't get very far," she said. "You will come for her alone. If you bring anyone of your coven, or the wolves, I will kill her before you get to the front door. Do you understand?"

"Where are you?" I demanded.

"We're not quite at our destination," she said. "I'll call you in an hour. Do you have a message for Bella?"

"Where are you?" I asked again.

"You are not listening. For such an attractive man, you're not very smart. I will call you in an hour. You will come to me alone. Since you have nothing to tell Bella, I'll let you hear what she has to say."

I heard Victoria move closer to Bella. We heard her heartbeat and Alice gasped. She was alive, but I heard her crying. Jasper picked up the lamp on the desk and hurled it across the room. His eyes were black and he was full of rage. _Perhaps my emotions were getting to him?_

Bella's breathing got closer and we heard her sobbing. Each one of us in that room felt so completely helpless. We heard her whisper, "he's not my mate...he's not my mate..." as she continued to cry. She was trying to keep me away.

"That's all you're getting for now," Victoria said. "One hour, I'll call you. You know the terms."

"No," I said, but the line went dead. "Damn it!" I yelled, as I paced the room. Never in my existence had I ever felt more helpless. She was scared and alone, and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "I'll call Sam."

"They can't help us," I said. "No one can. I have to do as she says or she'll kill Bella."

He went into the hall and called Sam, despite my feelings.

"She's going to kill her anyway," Rose said.

"Shut up, Rosalie!" I yelled. "I know you don't like Bella, but even this is low for you."

"Edward," Emmett said. "Rose didn't mean it that way. She's just saying that we might as well go together and get Bella back. We could rush in and attack."

"They'll sense us coming," Alice said. "The wolves must be involved, because I can't even see where she is." _What is wrong with my gift?_

"Alice," I said. "You can't see anything?"

She shook her head, and I could hear how sorry she was.

Esme came over and took my hand. "We'll figure this out," _I know how much you love her, and what this is doing to you."_

I looked at her and silently thanked her. I really needed my mother at this moment.

Carlisle walked back in and sat at the edge of his desk. "The pack is out searching, but so far they've come up empty. They'll keep in touch with us and proceed how you see fit, Edward."

"I'm going alone," I said.

"No, you're not," Jasper said, as he walked to the center of the room. "I'm going with you."

"Jazz," I said. "I really appreciate that, but you heard Victoria. We can't sneak up on her. I'll get Bella back."

"I'm not letting you go alone," he said, and he was so determined. I wondered exactly when he had become so fond of Bella.

"Carlisle," I said. "Please make him understand."

Carlisle looked at me, and then to Jasper. "You know why she came to see me today, don't you, Jasper?"

"I do," he said. "She didn't want to hide anymore."

"What are you talking about? Why would Bella come to see you?" I asked.

"She wanted to tell Carlisle that she has fallen in love with me," Jasper said.

I heard Esme gasp, "Carlisle?" But, nothing else seemed to make any sense. Alice kept saying that this was all of her fault, in her head. _I should have let them tell the truth sooner._

Carlisle held his hand up to stop any further chatter.

Jasper walked toward me. "I'm sorry, Edward," he said. "But, I can't let you make this decision, because you are not her mate. That's what she's trying to tell Victoria."

"No," I shook my head. "I don't believe..." His thoughts were so loud. It was all so clear now, but why hadn't I seen this before? I saw them together...

I saw him in her bedroom, she was kissing his scars and his hands were all over her. They were so intimate, and that wasn't the only time. The way she looked at him... had she ever looked at me that way?

I saw the two of them in my bed, that night I almost lost control. He was holding her closer than he should have been. I saw flashes of him in her bedroom at night, holding her while she slept.

**JPOV**

I hated to do it this way, in front of everyone, but I couldn't let him go after Bella. Not without me. I calmed him down so that he could focus. I needed him in my head. I only meant to show him glimpses of what I had shared with her, but as soon as I started to think about her, I couldn't control what we were to one another.

He stared into my eyes and I felt his shock and disbelief, but he was furious. He growled.

"Edward," I said. "I'm sorry."

"No," he said. "You manipulated her into feeling that lust. You knew what she wanted from me, and you took advantage of that. Her mind is so fragile, and you took advantage of that."

"Edward, no," Carlisle said, and I felt how sorry he was.

"You knew," Edward said. "And so did you." He glared at Alice, and I felt how betrayed he was.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Alice said. "I saw them together in a vision, a couple of months ago. I didn't think that they would act on it. Jasper didn't want to, he tried to fight it, but he was just meant to be with her."

"Are you saying that Bella and Jasper are sleeping together?" Emmett finally caught on.

"Shut up," Rose spat, and I felt her disgust.

Esme moved to stand next to Carlisle, and I felt her hurt and shock.

"I'm sorry, Esme," I said. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

She nodded, and I felt her understanding, but she was hurting for Edward.

"How long?" Edward asked.

"That's not important," I said. "Right now, we need to find Bella."

"How long?!" he yelled.

"Since the night I told her my story. You all went hunting, and I went to Bella's bedroom. I didn't go there to..." Before I could finish, Edward had me by the throat and pinned against the wall. He had his forearm against my windpipe and if I were human, it would have been crushed. I knew I deserved this, but now was not the time.

I pushed him off of me and sent him flying across the room, causing him to hit the opposite wall with a fierce force. He jumped up and lunged for me. I held him back with my hand and was ready to swing, but he read my thoughts. He pushed me back against the wall again and bit down on my shoulder, effectively immobilizing me.

"That's enough!" Carlisle yelled. "Emmett!"

Emmett pulled Edward off of me and I dropped to my knees, the sting from the venom was overwhelming. I put my hand on my shoulder and pressed against the pain. Rose ran over to me and dropped down next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, "It's nothing I'm not used to," I looked down and realized I would have one more scar to add to my generous supply.

Edward was growling and snapping his teeth, but Emmett wouldn't let him go. I pushed all the calm I could find around the room and stood up. I walked over to him and said, "I know what I have done is wrong, but I won't apologize for loving her. You had to have known that something wasn't right between the two of you."

"I knew, but I didn't think that she would..." he let out a frustrated breath, and I felt how hurt and betrayed he was. It was crashing into me and I couldn't be mad at him. He didn't do anything.

"Bella and I have a lot of explaining to do to all of you and we will, but first we have to get her back. I'm sorry, Edward, but I can't let you go without me. She belongs with me and she's my responsibility. I know you love her, so can't we find a way to do it together?"

"How could you think that I would do anything with you?" he asked.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "You have to do this for Bella. She would do anything for you."

He shook his head and stared at me. I felt the anger and disgust he had for me. "She's literally been going crazy for weeks now, and you stood by and let her continue to lie. Why would you do that?"

"I told them to," Alice said, and I felt how upset she was with her decisions.

"We didn't have to listen to you," I said.

"Yes, you did," Alice said, and she looked at Carlisle. "I'm sorry."

"I am disappointed, Alice," he said. "But, I know you had a good enough reason."

"What reason could there be to jeopardize Bella's sanity?" Edward asked. "I would have been furious, but why would you continue to make her lie?"

"I saw Carlisle die," Alice admitted.

"What?" Esme said, as she took Carlisle's hand.

"Bella wanted to tell Edward the truth, and she was going to, but I had a vision that the family would take sides and leave us vulnerable. Victoria was going to kill Carlisle."

"I see," Carlisle said. "But, now we didn't do anything to protect Bella."

"Why didn't you see Victoria coming for Bella?" Edward hissed. "Did you want this to happen? Obviously, you would be upset over what Jasper has done."

"This isn't her fault," I yelled. "She was doing what she thought was right."

Alice was sobbing internally, I could feel that, as she fell to the floor she let out a small scream. Emmett scooped her up and held her close. "Shh, Ali, it's not your fault. You couldn't let Carlisle die." Her pain was overwhelming me.

"It's your fault," Edward said, as he glared at me. "She wasn't yours to take."

"She was never yours," I said. "You knew; you just didn't want to see."

"Jasper," Carlisle warned.

"No," I said. "He has been hurting her since the first day he met her. You control her every move, you left her and she broke down, you came back, but you wouldn't give her what she needed. She tried to make it work. She would have married you, and did whatever you said to do. I know about the house that you bought. You had no intentions of turning her, you never did. You were going to string her along and make her marry you, so that you could keep her, but you didn't account for me."

"I shouldn't have had to account for you. I didn't think that my brother could betray me like that. And, what about her?" he pointed to Alice. "Did she mean nothing to you?"

"She meant everything to me," I said. "But, things haven't been right between us for years."

"It's true, Edward," Alice said. "Bella belongs with Jasper. I don't know when it shifted, maybe she was always his destiny, but I've seen their future, or at least pieces of it. They can be happy, but that can't happen if Victoria kills her."

"I won't hand her over to you," he said. "You can't make her happy."

"Yes, I can," I said. "I already do."

"She's been losing her mind ever since you got together. Doesn't that tell you something?"

"Fuck you," I growled, as my fist connected with his jaw. I sent him spiraling out the window, and onto the front lawn. I jumped down and waited for him to stand. The others joined us within a second, and Carlisle stood in between us. I felt his disappointment. I knew he was trying to understand, but it was difficult for him.

"Edward," he said. "I know this is hard and we will sort through this as a family, but right now you need to focus. Bella needs you."

"No," he shook his head. "Apparently, she needs him."

"She needs us both," I said. "We can get her back together."

"I agree," Carlisle said. "Once Victoria gives us the location, we will all go and alert the wolves to where she is. We will stay back and let Edward go in first, once you secure Bella, the rest of us can move in."

"It could work," Alice said. "We've taken out most of her newborns. If we move fast and surprise her."

I thought about it for a few minutes. It was dangerous and Bella could get hurt, but what choice did we have? I had to get her back and Edward was my only option. _Help me._

I felt his hurt and betrayal again, but I also felt a sense of honesty in his emotions. He knew that he was never going to be able to give Bella what she wanted. He would never be able to love her the way that I did.

"I do love her, Jasper." he said.

"I know you do," I said. _You just don't love her the way she needs to be loved._

"Edward?" Carlisle interrupted us. "We need to come up with a plan. Are you able to focus and get Bella back?"

Before he could answer, his phone began to ring. He reached in his pocket and flipped it open.

"What?" he said, and his eyes were darker than I had ever seen them. I couldn't get a read on his emotions either. It was as if he had completely shut down.

I only hoped that he would help us. Bella was at his mercy now.

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	11. Chapter 11

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**EPOV**

Of course I would help Bella. What choice did I have? She may not have considered me her mate, and she may have fallen in love with Jasper, but I was ultimately the reason she was with Victoria. If I never would have brought her into my world, she would be safe and secure. She would be living a normal life, free of me and Jasper.

_Who was I kidding?_

She was destined to be with our kind. She couldn't stay away from us, no matter how hard I tried to keep her safe_, _she always found a way to be with us._ But at what cost?_ Even if I could successfully retrieve her, she was losing her mind. How would she ever come back from that? I never wanted this life for her.

"Stop feeling so negative," Jasper said. "If you can't do this, I'll go in your place."

"You'd love that," I said. "Ride in on your white horse and save the princess from the evil witch."

"Edward," Carlisle said. "Now is not the time for this."

We stopped about ten miles from where Victoria had Bella. We couldn't pick up her heartbeat or scent yet, but that meant that Victoria couldn't sense us either. She had Bella at an abandoned lake house that she had been hiding out in for the past couple of weeks.

I looked at Alice and I noticed she was caught up in a vision. I got into her head and saw Bella curled up in a ball by an empty fireplace. She was shivering and afraid.

"Alice?" I said.

"She's still alive," Alice said. "That vision must be just before you get there. I don't see many other vampires with her."

"Maybe we depleted all of her newborns," Emmett said. "She can't fight us all."

"But she has the upper hand," Jasper reminded us. "We can't put Bella in anymore danger." His jaw was clenched and judging from his thoughts, he was in battle mode. He was focused on one thing; getting Bella back.

"I'm going to move closer and make sure she's there," I said, as I started to walk closer to the cabin. Jasper was right behind me. I stopped, turned and glared at him. "You're not coming." I reminded him.

"Yes," he said. "I am."

"You'll get her killed," I said, and I knew he felt my anger.

_It's killing you that she needs me._

"Not as much as it's killing you that I'm the one that is going to save her," I said.

He growled.

"Jasper," Carlisle said. "Edward is right. He has to go alone for now. We'll give you ten minutes, and then we'll come for you."

"Make sure she doesn't sense you coming. Don't all come at once," I said, as I started walking toward the cabin.

"Edward," Jasper called. "Please protect her."_ I can't exist without her._

"Regardless of what the two of you have done, I still love her," I said. "I would never let anything happen to her. I can't exist without her either."

I took off running to the cabin, and after a few miles, I heard her erratic heartbeat. She was so scared. As soon as I approached the steps, a large vampire stepped out in front of me. He rivaled Emmett in size.

I pushed passed him. "Get out of my way!"

He growled and pushed me back. He laughed and spoke internally; _You're not getting that pretty little human back. I'm only hoping Victoria lets me have a taste before she drains her, and I don't mean her blood._

I grabbed him by his neck and threw him across the yard. He jumped up and was blocking the door, before I could make my way in. I realized that no others were coming to his defense. There must not be any others. That was a good sign.

"Luke," Victoria screeched. "Let Edward in. He's come alone, so he gets to watch Bella die, just as I promised."

Luke stepped aside and I pushed through the door. Bella was huddled in the corner by the fireplace, just like in Alice's vision. I started toward her, but another vampire stepped in front of me.

I growled.

"Oh, Riley," Victoria said. "Let them have their reunion. It's only right that Edward gets a chance to say goodbye."

Riley stepped out of my way and I ran over to Bella. She looked up at me, and I saw the relief wash across her face. "Edward!" she cried. I dropped to my knees and scooped her up into my arms. I kissed her head and whispered, "It's okay, love, everything will be fine."

_No, it won't. I've made too many mistakes._

I looked down at her, and couldn't help but feel shocked. _Did I just hear her thoughts?_

"Edward," Victoria interrupted my thought process. "I'm rather surprised that you listened and showed up alone."

"You needed me to come alone," I said. "You've run out of newborns, and there isn't anyone left to protect you." This would be easier than we thought, especially if the wolves were on their way.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "I'm strong enough to kill the two of you."

"No!" Bella cried, "Not Edward," she said, but her eyes were so vacant. "He doesn't deserve to die."

_I'm sorry, Edward..._

"Bella," I said. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I brought you into this twisted world."

_I've hurt you. I've done something so horrible. You'll never forgive me. I'm sorry...let her kill me._

"No," I said. "You have to fight to stay with me." I couldn't believe I was reading her mind. How was this possible?

_Too tired...my head hurts all the time. I'm so overcome with guilt. _

"Times up," Victoria said. "You can watch her die now."

Before she even had the words out of her mouth, Riley ripped Bella from my arms. I sprang to my feet and lunged at Victoria, knocking her into the wall. Bella screamed out in fear.

"You tell him to let her go," I hissed, as I picked her up by the arm, pushing her in front of me and wrapping my hand around her neck.

"God," she said. "You are fast. It's kind of sexy." _Maybe after we get rid of your human, we could..._

That thought disgusted me. "I'll snap your neck," I said. "Is that hot too?"

She laughed. "I don't think so. Riley?"

He pulled Bella's back against his chest and moved her hair out of the way, and then licked her neck in one long stroke as he pulled his lips over his teeth. Bella tried to get away from him, but his hold was too strong. She was so afraid, and now I wished I couldn't hear her thoughts. They were confused and random. It wasn't Bella at all.

"No!" she cried. "I can't leave him." She wanted to live for Jasper. As convoluted and mixed up as her mind was, I knew she was talking about Jasper.

"I thought he wasn't your mate?" Victoria said. _Stupid, crazy human._

"He's not my mate, he's not my mate," she continued to cry. "Don't hurt him."

_Has she lost her mind? Of course he's her mate. I can see it in his eyes how much he loves her._

"I'm not," I said. I wasn't giving her the satisfaction.

_What did he just say?_ She thought. _He has to be her mate. I have to do this for James._

"You heard me, you stupid bitch," I said, as I increased the pressure on her neck. "She was telling the truth."

_Edward? I'm so sorry. I love you, but I'm so connected to Jasper. I can't explain it, but when I'm with him, I know he's the one I'm made for. I didn't mean to hurt you. I lied to you and I need to make it right. Please forgive me before I die._

"Tell him to let her go or I'm going to break your neck," I growled, as I stared at Riley.

_This human smells so good that I don't care if he snaps her neck. I'm biting and draining this girl!_

"No!" I screamed, as I dropped Victoria and lunged for Riley. He threw Bella across the room, and she smacked into the stone fireplace. She let out a small whimper, as her head hit the floor and then I smelled it. _Oh, God no!_

I slowly glanced over at Bella, knowing exactly what I would see. She was lying on the floor, surrounded in a pool of blood. Riley grabbed me before I could get to her, and Victoria was crouched over Bella. She looked up at me and smiled, as her black eyes shifted back to Bella. She inhaled and laughed.

_She smells so good..._

She picked Bella up and stood her on her feet. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head, and I knew she was going to lose consciousness within seconds. The blood was gushing down her face, and I could hear all three of these vile vampires, and what they were going to do to her. Her blood was overwhelming them. I tried to break out of Riley's hold, but his grasp was too tight. _Damn that newborn strength._

Victoria looked at me and smiled, as she licked Bella's face. "She's delicious, Edward," she laughed. "Would you like a taste?"

"I'm going to kill you," I growled, as I tried to pull out of his hold.

"Don't hurt, Edward," Bella said, as she closed her eyes. "He's too good."

"Bella," I said. "Don't close your eyes."

"No, Edward," Victoria said. "It's better if she goes to sleep. It might hurt less."

"I don't want it to hurt. Please, I need to live."

Victoria laughed. "What do you need to live for? If he's not your mate?"

"I need to make it right," she said. "I'm confused. I need to go home."

"I think that she has completely lost her mind," Victoria said. "She rambles and loses her thoughts so easily."

"I want to be like you," Bella said. "Can you change me?"

"Bella," I shouted. "No!"

"Really, Bella? Just like me?" Victoria laughed. "Edward doesn't want that, so maybe that's my best revenge."

"She doesn't know what she's saying," I pleaded as I pulled against Riley's hold.

"You won't do it, Edward," Bella said. "I have to be one of you."

"Hmm," Victoria laughed. "You know what might be fun? What if we turned her, and then she would be crazy for all of eternity? We carry over our human traits, you know. How would you and your angelic family handle a crazy vamp?"

"Will you turn me for him?" Bella asked.

"No," I growled. "Don't you dare."

Victoria pulled Bella's neck back, causing Bella to whimper and then her knees buckled a bit. "Is this what you want, Bella? To be one of us? I can do what Edward couldn't."

_Edward...I can do this...don't be afraid..._

I let out a deafening scream as I watched Bella close her eyes, but just as Victoria was about to sink her teeth into her neck, she fell to her knees and let out a pained scream. She brought her hands to her head, and I could hear through her thoughts all of the pain and anguish she was feeling. Suddenly Riley let go of me and fell to the ground, letting out a wail of pain. I knew from his thoughts, he was being manipulated into despair and torture as well.

I looked up, and saw Jasper standing in the doorway. He was momentarily shocked when he saw Bella, but then his thoughts turned back to Victoria and I heard how he would kill her. He was on a mission.

**JPOV**

I waited as long as I could, but I knew she needed me. I could feel it. Somehow I knew she was calling to me.

"Alice," I said. "Can you see anything?"

"I'm sorry Jazz," she said. "I don't know what's happening."

"Let's move in now and attack," Emmett said.

"No," Carlisle said. "We can't jeopardize Bella and Edward. We said ten minutes."

"I can't wait any longer," I said, as I headed for the cabin.

"I agree," Jake said, as he filed in with the rest of the pack. "We need to get Bella back, and now."

"Jacob," Sam said. "I want to speak with Carlisle first."

"I don't have time," I snapped.

"Fine," Carlisle said. "Jasper you go, but you be careful. We will be right behind you."

I nodded and then took off running. I heard her scream and I felt her pain. She was physically hurting, but I couldn't tell why. I pushed my legs as fast as they would go, and then I smelled her blood. It surrounded the cabin, and I could feel the thirst of the vampires in my range. I felt Edward's fear for Bella, as he screamed out her name.

I grabbed the large vampire that was standing at the door, looking inside the cabin. He was so caught up in Bella's blood, that he didn't even hear me coming. I quickly snapped his neck and threw him down the steps. The wolves would be here shortly and they could finish him.

I peered in the door and saw Victoria descend on Bella. I quickly sent her a strong dose of anguish and despair, enough to bring her to her knees. She fell to the floor, taking Bella with her. I did the same thing to Riley, and then I stepped inside. Bella was bleeding pretty heavily, but she was still conscious. I wanted to run to her, but I knew that I had to deal with Victoria first.

Edward moved to Bella and picked her up. She was whimpering and I knew her head hurt. I grabbed Victoria and pinned her against the wall. "You miserable bitch," I said. "You'll pay for this. You went after the wrong brother," I told her. "I'm the one who ripped James apart and threw him into that fire. I'll do the same to you." I felt her shock.

Just as I was about to grab her throat, Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Jasper," he quietly said, "Let Sam and the pack take care of this."

Emmett and Rose took Victoria outside. She tried to struggle out of their hold, but it was no use. They tossed her down the steps to where the wolves were waiting. They came back in and did the same to Riley.

I could hear them ripping their bodies to shreds. _Good riddance._

"Carlisle," Edward screamed. "Bella needs you."

I froze. _Would she be okay? What had they done to her?_

Carlisle ran over to Bella. "Has she been bitten?"

Esme gasped and I felt her fear. "No!"

"No," Edward said, but she hit her head really hard. "She's been bleeding for a few minutes, but she hasn't fallen asleep."

I ran to her side and held out my arms for her. Edward hesitated, but then he looked down at Bella. He handed her over to me. "She wants to be with you."

I took her in my arms and cradled her. I could feel the pain radiating off of her. Her blood was overwhelming us, but I knew that we were all strong enough to control whatever our natural instincts wanted. Really, I was the only one who could lose control, but there was no chance that was going to happen.

"How did you know that?" Rose asked. "That Bella wanted Jasper?"

"I can hear it in her thoughts," he said.

"What?" Alice asked. "How?

"I don't know," he said. "I just can. It started when I got here."

"Emmett," Carlisle said. "Give me your shirt. We've got to stop this bleeding."

Emmett pulled his shirt off and handed it to Carlisle. Bella started to shake uncontrollably, so I held her closer to me, but I knew we were going to need Jacob.

"She's going into shock," Carlisle said, as he pressed the shirt against her open wound.

Bella gripped my shirt between her fingers as tight as she could. "Don't leave me." she whispered.

"Not ever," I said, as I kissed the top of her head.

"My mind isn't right, Jasper," she cried. "I'm so confused."

"No, Bella, you're going to be fine." I wanted to relax her, but I knew she shouldn't sleep with that head injury.

"Don't let them take me away from you," she said, as she gripped my shirt tighter. "Don't let them send me away."

"When I left her last year," Edward said. "Charlie and Renee considered sending her someplace where she could heal."

"No one is going to send you away," I assured her.

"Carlisle," Edward said. "She's freezing."

"Rosalie," Carlisle said. "Get me Jacob."

"Bella," I said. "I have to let you sit with Jake now. My body temperature isn't good for you."

"No! No!" she started screaming. "Don't leave me!" I felt how panicked she was. Her anxiety was in overdrive.

"Carlisle," I said. "I need to calm her. She's out of control."

"Can you do it without making her fall asleep? I need to get her to the hospital for a cat scan."

"No! No hospitals," she pleaded. "Jasper can't stay with me there."

"Bella," Carlisle said. "Listen to me; you hit your head really hard. I don't have the machine to take care of you at home."

"You can fix me, Carlisle," she cried. "You always do."

Carlisle sighed, "Fine, let's get her back to the house and we'll watch her."

Jake walked in and knelt in front of Bella. "I thought we agreed nothing stupid?"

"I want to stay with Jasper," she said. "Please don't take me from Jasper. It's the same as it is for you and Ava."

"Bella," he said. "I can carry you back to the Cullens and keep you warm. I won't take you away from him."

"She's scared and confused now," Edward said. "She doesn't want to be away from Jasper. Let's just get her back to the house and get her head treated."

"I can feel that," I said. "But what are you picking up in her thoughts?"

"She's losing it, Jasper," I said. "I hope it's just from the shock of what has been going on, but her thoughts are distant and random. She can't focus."

"She may have a concussion." Carlisle said. "Just get her home and be careful with her."

I walked outside with her, and saw that Emmett was waiting with a truck. I looked at him questioningly, but I didn't care where he got it. This would be easier than running her through the forest, especially in her condition.

"Emmett?" Carlisle asked.

"I'll put it back when we're done, Pops," he said. "Come on, Jazz, I can get her home in two minutes."

I slid into the truck and cradled her in my lap, while the others took off running back to the house.

"You really do love her, huh?" Emmett asked.

"More than I've ever loved another," I said, as I looked down at her.

"Then you have to do whatever it takes to keep her." he said, and I felt his understanding over the situation.

"I intend to," I said, as I stroked her hair. She pushed herself closer to me and smiled but I knew we were far from our happily ever after.

*****Next few chapters will be full of drama and anguish, but once we get through that I will write some fluff for our couple, but we all know how I feel about fluff!**

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	12. Chapter 12

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**EPOV**

We got Bella back home and Carlisle treated her injuries. I wanted to stay inside the house with them, but Bella's mind was overwhelming me. Her thoughts were scattered and frightened. She knew where she was, but she was so afraid that we were going to send her away. I knew that was my fault. When I left her, she completely broke down and I saw what I had done to her through Jacob and Charlie's thoughts, but that was nothing compared to experiencing it through Bella's mind.

I left her alone and afraid. She depended on me and the love I had for her. I told her countless times how I couldn't live without her, and then I pulled the rug out from under her when I walked away. I could hear it in her thoughts now. No matter how hard she tried to come back from my betrayal, she couldn't. Once we returned from Italy, she tried to rekindle what we had. She forgave me, but her love for me was never the same. I knew that on some level, but I didn't want to admit it. I thought once she graduated and she started college, and I moved her away from Forks, it would be different. I could make her feel for me what we once shared. She needed me, and I continued to push her away. I pushed her right into Jasper's arms.

As far gone as her mind was, she knew what she wanted. Her thoughts of Jasper were the only thing keeping her coherent. She was determined to keep him with her. I think that she knew that he could get her out of this, and that was what she was counting on.

They handled it wrong. Jasper betrayed Alice, and went to Bella while she was weak. They lied to me for weeks, but even if Bella would have told me the truth, I wouldn't have believed her. No, it took me getting into her thoughts to finally hear how she really felt. I wasn't her mate.

Carlisle came outside and sat next to me on the steps of the porch.

I looked at him, and he knew what I wanted to ask without me saying it. Even without my gift, Carlisle always knew. It didn't really surprise me that he picked up on what Jasper and Bella were doing.

"Bella has a mild concussion and a bruised shoulder. She's very lucky, but then again, she's always very lucky."

I laughed. "Is she?"

"Edward," he said. "Bella chose this life. It's her will that keeps her here, and we can't fight it."

"Look what it did to her," I said. "Look what I did to her."

"You tried to protect her," he said. "But, now you have to accept that she doesn't want to be sheltered from our kind." I read through his thoughts that he would still turn her if she asked him to. I couldn't agree with that.

"And just give her to Jasper?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"That's not your choice either," he said. "I know that hurts; and I'm not happy with how Jasper, Bella and, Alice handled the situation. We don't keep secrets around here, we never have, and their secrets have consequences."

"Bella's paying the price for that secret," I said.

"We all are," he said. "None of us want to see Bella like this."

"Can her mind recover from this?" I asked.

"I hope so, Edward," he whispered. "I'm hoping that she has just been traumatized, and she needs some time to heal. It might help, now that she knows that you know about her and Jasper. I'm not saying you have to forgive them, but it might help Bella if she saw that you were dealing with all of this."

"I don't know if I can do that," I admitted. "I know I made mistakes, but it still hurts. I do love her."

"I know you do," he said. "But, you'll have to find a way to love her from a distance."

"Why do you suppose I can hear her thoughts?"

"The mind is a strange thing," he smiled. "I think that whatever Bella has that keeps you out, is now being overpowered. She doesn't have control over her mind right now. She's fragile and weak at the moment, so whatever blocks you isn't working. She doesn't have the energy to maintain that part of her mind."

"I've always wanted to read her thoughts," I laughed at the irony.

"But now?" Carlisle asked.

"I can see what I did to her, I see where I went wrong, and I see how she ended up with Jasper."

"Well," Carlisle said. "Maybe this was exactly the right time for you to get inside her head. You needed to see what she was never going to be able to tell you. She doesn't want to hurt you."

"But," I said. "I always hurt her."

"Not intentionally," he said. "I just don't think you know what to do with her. From the first time you met her, you've wanted to protect her."

"I wanted to kill her," I reminded him.

"But, you didn't," he said. "You went to Alaska to avoid her, and when you came back, you wanted to get to know her. You pushed her from the path of that van, saved her from those vile men in Port Angeles, and sucked the venom from her when James bit her. And, you left her to protect her."

"She ended up with the very person I was trying to protect her from," I said.

"What does that tell you?" He asked.

"That I can't control destiny. If I had never left her in the first place, then maybe things would be different."

"We'll never know that," Carlisle said. "But, Jasper can help Bella now, and we have to let him."

"His gift may be the only thing that brings her back," I said.

"Yes," Carlisle said. "Now I just have to figure out a way to convince the chief to let her stay with us."

"He already hates me," I said. "And when he sees that she has been injured, well, I don't know."

"We're going to have to find a way," he said. "Because if he takes her home in her present state of mind, she will freak out from being separated from Jasper, and he will commit her."

"Alice?" I asked, but before Carlisle could answer, Alice came out and answered for him.

"Her being committed was one of my initial visions, but unfortunately that one seems to stick. If Bella leaves here with Charlie, she'll never get better. You'll never leave her side."

"So what? Jasper and I sit with her and she never comes back to us?"

"I said that you never leave her side. Jasper will blame himself for what has happened, and he will go back to Peter and Char, in every sense of the word."

"No," Carlisle said, and I could hear how disappointed he was that Jasper would give up on our lifestyle. "I will find a way to make Charlie understand."

Rose, Esme, and Emmett came out to join us, and I could tell from their thoughts that they needed to get away from Bella, too. Her pain was too much for all of them, and they couldn't hear it like I could, or feel it like Jasper did. They were all going for a hunt and giving Jasper some time alone with Bella.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "Since I know you have read our thoughts, will you be joining us this evening? I think that would be best, given the circumstances."

"Yes," I said. "I think you're right." I knew I couldn't stay here tonight. I didn't want to hear Bella's disturbed thoughts any longer.

"Cool," Emmett said, as he patted me on the back. "Let's go get you a mountain lion."

"Thanks," I smiled. "I could use one."

Esme took my hand and smiled. _I'm sorry Edward. I know you're hurting, and not just because Bella is with Jasper. I know you're genuinely hurting for what she is going through._

"I am," I said. "I don't want this for her."

"Let's give it some time," Carlisle said. "It will work out."

**JPOV**

Bella and I were curled up in my bed. The circumstances were so much different than the last time when she shared my bed with me. She was in my lap, with her head against my chest and her fingers were wrapped so tight around my shirt, that I was afraid she would get a cramp. She slept occasionally, and Carlisle said that was fine, as long as I woke her up every two hours to make sure she was okay.

Her emotions were so lost and desperate. She was all over the place. One minute she was scared and distraught, and the next she was sending me waves of love and appreciation. I was frightened for her. I knew that she was far from getting better, and I didn't know how I was going to bring her back from this. I had been keeping her in a constant state of mood manipulation for weeks, and it didn't seem to be helping.

I gently shook her and pulled her from her sleep. "Darlin'," I whispered, as I pressed my lips to her forehead. "It's time to wake up." She settled deeper into my chest, but she still didn't release her hold on me. "Come on, my beautiful girl, open those eyes for me."

She slowly opened them and smiled at me. "You're still here."

"Bella," I said. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise that I'll never leave you."

"My head hurts," she said. "And, my hair is sticky."

I laughed, because she had no idea how painful it was for me to hold her this close while we were still drenched in her blood. "Would you like to take a shower?"

"You'll come with me?" she asked, as she bit her bottom lip.

"Bella?"

"I can't be without you, and you're covered in blood too," she said, and I felt a tinge of lust coming from her. Oh, that turned me on, but that was wrong. She was in no frame of mind to be thinking about doing anything remotely sexy with me. If we were going to take a shower together, it was going to be out of necessity. _Yeah, I could keep telling myself that._

"My throat is burning," I said. "But, I would never hurt you, so if you're not up to getting showered and changed, I'll be fine."

"No," she said. "I'd like to get out of these clothes, and try to wash the blood out of my hair. Will you help me?"

"Of course," I said, as I carried her to the bathroom. Alice must have seen what we were about to do, because there was a change of clothes for both of us on the bathroom counter._ That was just weird. _

I sat her on the counter and then turned to put the water on, so that it could heat up. I moved back to her and started to unbutton her shirt. I never took my eyes away from hers. I felt how much she loved me, and it made it all the more sobering that I almost lost her today. I would never let that happen again.

I slipped the shirt from her shoulder and she winced. "Sorry," I said, and should have realized that taking her shirt off would hurt her bruised shoulder. I gently slipped it off of her arms and dropped it to the floor. She reached for the buttons of my shirt and slowly worked her way down.

"Bella," I said. "I wasn't actually going to take a shower with you."

She slid off the counter and wrapped her arms around my waist. "After what happened today, I can't be away from you. I thought I was going to die, and I wasn't going to get a chance to be with you again." She started to cry, and it broke my dead heart to see the tears pouring down her cheeks. "Please," she cried.

"Shh," I said, as I wiped her tears away with my lips. Even they tasted sweet to me. "I'll do whatever you want." I removed my shirt and then reached around her back and unclasped her bra, and pushed it from her body. I took her perfect breasts in and fought the urge to run my tongue along her nipples, so instead I ran my finger between her breasts and down her stomach, to the button on her jeans. My own desire peaked, but I knew that I had to stay focused, as I lowered her zipper and knelt down before her to remove her jeans and panties. She gripped my shoulders as she stepped out of them.

The scent of her arousal immediately hit me, as I pressed my face against her stomach and spoke, "I have to get you in the shower now. Are you feeling stable enough to stand in there?"

She nodded, as she ran her fingers through my loose curls. I slithered back up her naked body, never taking my hands off of her. I pressed my lips against hers and slowly deepened the kiss. She had to know how much I needed her. She moaned against my mouth, as she unbuckled my belt and unbuttoned my jeans. Her hand brushed against the very prominent bulge I was sporting, as she lowered the zipper.

I pushed my pants down and stepped out of them, as I took her hand and led her into the shower. I left the door slightly ajar, so that I didn't become too overwhelmed, as the hot water and steam intensified the scent of her blood. I knew I could never hurt her, but why risk losing control? I knew what I was and what I was capable of.

I positioned her directly under the spray, facing me. I had to wash her hair first, but I knew the shampoo would probably sting the cut on her head, so I opted to rinse and gently run my fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp. She closed her eyes and leaned her head under the stream of the water. I felt how much she was enjoying this. She was so calm and her muscles were starting to relax. I played a small part in manipulating her emotions, but the heat of the shower and my hands massaging her scalp created most of the effect.

I reached for the body wash, poured some in my hands and slowly ran them over her shoulders and neck, washing away any traces of blood. I ghosted my fingers over her breasts and continued downward, but she grabbed my hands and placed them back over her breasts. I moved my hands over them, allowing the soap to lather her body. I slipped one hand down her stomach and slowly moved it over to her hip, resting it there. She stepped closer to me, causing her thigh to brush up against my very erect cock. The contact was almost painful, and my body was screaming for release.

She reached over and grabbed the body wash from the shelf, and poured a generous amount into her hands. She rubbed it over my chest and shoulders, as she leaned into my ear. "You're so perfect," she whispered, and the warmth of her breath caused me to shiver. "Your body is amazing." She ran her hand down my abs as she kissed my neck. I could feel how much she wanted me, as I closed my eyes and got lost in Bella. She trailed her hand down my stomach and took me in her tiny hand.

I let out a low growl, but placed my hand over top of hers and stilled her movement. "Bella," I said. "I may have projected onto you, and given your current state of mind, I don't think we can do this."

She worked her lips back up to mine and softly kissed me. "I need to feel you," she said. "We need to be one."

I fiercely kissed her back, knowing this was wrong, but I couldn't remember why it was wrong. She ran her thumb over my tip, swirling the moisture that had gathered there, and then her arousal increased.

I continued to kiss her, as I gripped her hips and pulled her closer to me, causing my cock to graze her entrance. "We have to stop," I said. "Carlisle will kill me if I take this any further, and I'm sure Emmett and Edward will help."

"Carlisle knows I need you," she whispered. "Don't deny me Jasper. Please, I don't think I could handle your rejection."

_Why did she have to say please?_

I groaned because I knew I could never deny her anything.

"Please, Jasper," she said. "I know if I feel you, I'll be fine."

I took her face in my hands and stared into her eyes, as I monitored her emotions very carefully. She seemed to know what she wanted. _Me. _Actually, her mind was more stable in this moment, than it had been in weeks. She was sure.

I crushed my lips against her, as she continued to pump me in her hand. "Bella..." I moaned. "That feels so fucking good." She licked my neck, moving her way down to my shoulder and then she bit me and hard, too. She actually bit me. It was kind of hot.

I turned her away from the spray and backed her up against the wall, "Now I'll have to bite you back." I growled.

"That's what I'm hoping for," she whispered.

I lifted her up and pressed her back against the wall, as she wrapped her legs around my hips. "No way, my sweet, there are too many things I still need to do to this human body." I reached down and thrust my finger inside her. She was always so ready for me. So responsive to my touch.

"Oh, Jasper," she moaned. "I want you to do everything to me. I want you to teach me."

"Be careful what you wish for," I said, as I lifted her left hand above her head and held it against the wall. She slipped her free hand in between us, and slowly pushed me inside of her. We let out a collective gasp of pleasure, as our bodies became one. There could never be a better feeling for me. As long as I existed, there would never be another. If Bella decided that she didn't want me tomorrow, I would never be with anyone else. How could I possibly? Nothing could compare to her.

She started to rock her hips into me, indicating she wanted more of me.

"Tell me what you want," I said.

"You," she moaned.

I shook my head, "What do you want me to do to you?" I knew she didn't have any sexual experience, but I wanted to teach her how to drop her inhibitions and heighten her pleasure. I knew she was capable of it, I could feel it.

"I..." I felt her embarrassment starting to build in.

"No," I said, as I replaced her embarrassment with the lust I was feeling. I knew how I wanted to take her, but she needed to tell me. "Tell me, or I'll stop."

"No," she moaned out in frustration. "I want you to go as deep as you can, and take me slow."

"Good girl," I said, as I pushed in as far as her body would allow and then I started giving her slow, deliberate thrusts, pulling all the way out each time and forcefully entering her, over and over again.

"Do you see how much I need you, Bella?"

"Yes," she cried out. "As much as I need you. God, don't stop..."

"Never," I whispered, but I wanted to tell her that she needed to come back to me. I needed her with me always.

"Jasper," she moaned. "You're making me...uh...I'm..." she was so overcome with what we were doing she couldn't even tell me she was going to cum.

"I know, darlin'," I encouraged. "Let go for me, let me hear you."

She screamed out her release louder than I had ever heard her, as it vibrated and echoed off the tiled walls. I couldn't hold on much longer. "Hold on to me," I said, as I picked up the pace and began slamming into her at a harder rate. "Oh, baby, I'm so close. It's you that does this to me." Before I knew it, I was spilling into her as I buried my head in her neck, wishing we could go again. I knew she was exhausted and cold now.

I gently set her down and held her by the waist. "Can you stand?"

"I don't think so," she smiled, as her legs shook from underneath her.

I wrapped my arm around her body and guided her under the shower one last time, washing away what we had just shared. I lifted her up and out of the shower, and then leaned her against the counter. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist, and then I tended to Bella. I gently dried her off and quickly dressed her. She stared at me as I dressed myself, but I felt her emotions begin to shift. She was slipping back inside her head.

I pulled her into my arms and sent her a dose of calm. "Stay with me Bella," I pleaded.

"I'll try," she said. "But, I'm really tired now."

I scooped her up and carried her to the bed. I pushed myself against the headboard and moved her back against my chest. I pulled the comforter over her body. She shifted so that she could rest her head on my shoulder and grip my shirt again.

"You don't have to do this," I placed my hand over hers. "I'm not going anywhere."

"It helps keep me secure," she said, as her eyes began to flutter. Just as she was about to drift off, she whispered, "Don't let them send me away."

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed._ How was I going to save her from her own mind?_

*****That's a good question, Jasper. I hope I have the answer. Lol**

*****Please remember to enter the Show Us Your Dark Side Contest. Details are on my profile page. The community is in serious need of some Darkmett and Darkisle, but of course we'll take Darkward and Darksper, and any other Twilight man you can dirty up!**

*****I just got word that FF is pulling some of the M rated fics for smut. My fics probably fall under that category. If you try to find me tomorrow and I'm not here, I just wanted to let you know that ARTE is posted on fanfictionfrenzy dot com , so you will get to finish it. The whole reason I got involved with FFF was so that we could write the way we wanted to write and not be censored. If you have a fic that you want posted without fear of getting pulled down go post it over there. The technical people there are working on ways to make it better.**


	13. Chapter 13

*****Thank to TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for proofing this.**

*****So, how does a father leave his daughter with a house full of vampires? Read on to find out!**

**JPOV**

It was an extremely stressful night, to say the least. Bella would sleep for a few hours at a time, and while she was awake, she would cry or babble phrases that didn't make much sense. Her emotions were fragile and confused. I kept her as calm as I could, but her state of mind was starting to overpower me. I was drained, thirsty, and worried for her. I knew that I had to stay strong for her. She needed me.

Alice knocked on the bedroom door, and then came in before I could answer. As soon as she entered, I felt her emotions drop as she stared at me holding Bella in the bed we once shared. She shifted her eyes and started playing with her hands. She was fidgeting; something vampires didn't normally do.

"Alice," I said. "I'm sorry. I know this is hard."

"Of course it is, Jazz," she said, as she began pacing the room. "I never wanted this to happen to Bella."

"I know you didn't," I said. "But, I'm talking about you walking into this bedroom and seeing Bella in my arms."

"It's very hard," she said. "But, I know you love her and she needs you. I'll learn to accept it."

I could feel her pain. My gift never proved to be more of a curse than it did in this moment. Both Alice and Bella's grief and heartache were crashing into me. How much more could I take? Was this my punishment for taking what didn't belong to me, while I was with another? Was the price I had to pay, Bella losing her mind?

"Jazz," Alice said. "We can talk about our failed relationship later. Right now, Bella is the concern. No matter what has happened, this whole family can agree that she is our main priority."

"Thank you," I whispered, as I looked down at Bella. Her eyes were beginning to flutter, and I could sense that she was beginning to wake up.

"Carlisle has called Charlie and told him that Bella has had an accident. He told him that she tripped, fell and hit her head. That's all he knows at the moment," she said. "He'll be here soon."

"So," I said. "We need to convince him to let her stay with us."

"We do," she said. "But, you have to hunt before he gets here."

"I'm fine," I said.

She put her hands on her hips and said, "Jasper Whitlock, who do you think you are talking to? I know that you're not fine. You are emotionally drained. It's evident in your face. You haven't hunted in days."

"I haven't had much of a choice, Alice," I reminded her. "I'll hunt when the time is right."

"Your eyes are so dark, and the bruising underneath them isn't pretty. You might be able to hold off for a few more days, but what if you can't control it?"

"You think I'm going to attack Bella?" _Was she crazy?_

"Not Bella," she said.

"Charlie?" _She was crazy._ "Alice? Where is your faith in me?"

"I do have faith in you," she said. "But, what if Charlie doesn't let Bella stay with you, and you lose your temper?"

"Have you seen me do that?" I asked. "Have you had a vision?"

"No," she said. "But, even if you don't go for his throat, he'll think that you are deranged. He knows that your eyes aren't usually that color."

"He doesn't know me at all," I reminded her. Charlie had only seen me from a distance a handful of times. "But, I'll use the contacts, if it will make you feel better."

Bella started to stir, and then she opened her eyes and smiled at me, quickly gripping my shirt again. She had let it slip from her fingers when she fell asleep.

"Jazz," Alice said. "I'll stay with Bella while you hunt. Would you like that, Bella?"

Bella sat up, and I felt the panic take over her whole emotional system. "Why are you trying to take him from me?" she asked Alice. "He's not yours."

"Bella," Alice tried to soothe her. "I know, sweetie. He needs to hunt. He'll get weak if he doesn't."

"Don't let her take you away from me," she pleaded, as she started to cry. I felt her desperation and anxiety. "Please Jasper, not now, not yet. I can't." She started to rock back and forth, as she mindlessly ran her fingers through her hair. "Please, I can't..." she started to ramble again.

"Jazz," Alice said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Alice," I sighed. "Please bring me the contacts."

She nodded, and I felt how sorry she felt for Bella. She left us alone, and I started to manipulate Bella's emotions, trying to keep her calm.

"Shh," I whispered. "It's alright, my beautiful girl. I'll never leave you. I'm going to fix this."

"What if I can't be fixed?" She asked. "What if I'm crazy?"

"You can be fixed," I told her." You just need time to heal, and as soon as we convince Charlie that this is where you belong, I'll help you get through this."

She cuddled into my chest. "How are you going to make Charlie understand?"

"I have my ways," I smiled.

"He can't be dazzled," she laughed, and for a moment I felt hope.

"Maybe not, but he can be manipulated," I said.

"Hmm," I felt her doubt. "If he takes me from you, I'll die."

_There went my hope._ "You're not going to die."

"When Victoria took me," she said. "I wasn't afraid of her. I was afraid of never seeing you again. It was the most desperate I had ever felt. I thought I was going to break down when Edward left me, but that was nothing compared to what I felt when I thought I would never see you again."

"We're together now," I told her. "You need to accept that."

"I'm trying, but I know something is wrong with me," she said. "What if you decide that you don't want me?"

"That would never happen," I assured her. "You are everything to me. When Victoria took you, I went out of my mind. Bella, I couldn't go on if I lost you. You are my reason for existing."

I looked up and saw Edward standing in the doorway. _What do you want?_

"Sorry to interrupt," he said, and Bella looked in his direction. As soon as she saw him, I felt a huge surge of guilt and remorse coming from her.

"It's okay," I said. "Did you need something?" I felt his jealousy, and anger. I quickly got him under control. Bella didn't need his outburst now.

"I know you are controlling my emotions, but I'm still going to tell you that the shower was inappropriate."

"What? How did you," I stopped when I realized. "Stay out of her head."

"Don't you think I wish I could?" he said. "Her thoughts constantly scream at me."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Bella said. "I can't control my thoughts. My mind is all over the place. I have no filter."

"It's not your fault, Bella," he said, as he glared at me.

_Stop it. She doesn't need this now. You can be mad about the shower, but I was only doing what she asked. _

He let out a small growl, and I felt his frustration. "This isn't over," he said.

"Edward," Bella said. "I'm sorry."

_Get out! You are making her feel worse._

"Charlie is on his way," he said. "Carlisle thinks that it would be better if we met in his study." He tossed a set of contacts and a brush on the bed. "Alice thinks that you should make Bella more presentable, since you clearly forgot to brush her hair after your shower romp."

_Shut up! _"I don't want you there when we meet with Charlie. It will upset Bella even more."

"I'm going to be there," he said. "You'll need me to read his thoughts, so that I can help convince him that Bella needs to stay with us."

"I have to stay with Jasper." Bella said. "Can you help me, Edward?"

"Yes, Bella," he said. "I can help you."

I had no choice but to let Edward join us, because if Charlie took her from us, and Alice's vision was correct, it would be Edward that sat with her everyday, while I was off with Peter and Charlotte. I knew that wasn't right because how could I leave her? We had to convince Charlie. We had no other choice.

I helped Bella pull her hair into a ponytail and get changed. I threw in the contacts, but I could see Alice's point. I looked crazy, but we all did after the last few days we had spent. The rest of the family may have hunted, but they were just as washed out and distraught as I was. I felt it.

"Bella," I said. "It is imperative, darlin', that you hold it together while your father is here. Can you do that?"

"Will you help me?" she asked.

"I can try, but keeping you under control is taking everything I have." And now with me being thirsty, I wasn't sure how effective I was going to be.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," she sighed. "I know that you didn't sign on for this."

"I signed on for you, darlin'," I said. "I'll take you anyway you come."

She reached up and gently kissed my lips. "Can I have a few moments alone," she asked. "You know, for human stuff?"

"Of course," I said, as I stepped out of the bathroom. "I'll wait in the hall and then we'll go to the study."

I walked out of the bedroom, and waited in the hallway. I could hear that Charlie was already in the study with Edward and Carlisle. I heard their conversation, and already I felt Charlie's worried emotions.

"Where is Bella?" he asked, and I could hear him pacing the room.

"She's just getting dressed," Carlisle said. "She'll be here in a few minutes."

"What happened, exactly?" he asked.

"She fell and hit her head," Carlisle said. "Physically she is fine. Just a minor concussion. We watched her through the night. I see no long term effects from the injury."

"Why didn't you take her to the hospital?" he asked.

"My father is capable of diagnosing a concussion, Charlie," Edward said.

"I know that," Charlie said. "But, could she have something else wrong with her?" I felt his realization when he asked. "What do you mean, physically she's fine?"

"Charlie," Carlisle said. "Please sit down. I'm sure you have noticed a shift in Bella's demeanor."

"Well, yes, she hasn't been herself these past few weeks, but what does that have to do with anything?" he asked, and I felt the confusion building within him. "I'd like to see Bella now."

"Jasper," Carlisle called. I walked back into the bedroom as Bella was coming out of the bathroom. "Let's go see your dad," I said.

She gripped my hand so tight that, if I were human, it would have hurt. I sent her a calming vibe before leading her down the hall.

"Don't leave me," she said. "You can't let them send me away."

"Bella," I said. "I'll fight for you."

We walked into the study and I immediately felt Charlie's shock. I didn't know if it was because of Bella's disheveled and tired appearance, or if it was because she was holding my hand.

"Bella?" he said, as he got up and walked to her. "What's wrong with you?" He tried to reach for her, but she backed away and stood behind my shoulder, shielding herself from him.

"Bella?" he asked again.

"You can't take me away from Jasper," she whispered. "I won't leave Jasper."

Now he was frightened, on top of being confused. He stared at me, and then down at our joined hands. He turned and looked at Edward. "What the hell is going on?"

"Bella and I have separated, Charlie," Edward said.

"You left her again? After what you put her through last year?" I felt his anger and only hoped that he didn't throw a punch, because there was no way we could explain how he broke his hand so easily.

"It was Bella's decision," Carlisle intervened.

"I don't believe that," he said. "She went after Edward just a few months ago. She almost lost her mind when he left her."

"Dad," Bella said. "I do love Edward, but I need Jasper. It just happened and I feel really bad that I hurt Edward, but I'm not sorry that I fell in love with Jasper." I felt Bella's guilt and remorse pushing its way in. I tried to calm her down, but I could already feel her emotions getting the best of her. She was going to explode, and I didn't think my power could handle it. It was bigger than me.

"Bella," Charlie said. "This is crazy. You are confused. You need to come home with me, and the Cullen boys need to give you a break. Let's go."

"No!" she screamed, as she gripped the back of my shirt and moved closer to me. "Don't let them send me away."

"Bella!" Charlie yelled back. "You are coming home with me now!"

"No, no, no!" she yelled, and I could feel how distraught she was. I pushed some calm around the room, hoping I could at least get Charlie to settle down. "I'm not leaving!"

"Charlie," Carlisle said. "Bella has been traumatized by the fall, she has broken up with Edward, graduated from high school, fallen in love with Jasper, and is trying to figure out what to do with her life. I think we should give her the space she needs. Please consider letting her stay with us."

"No," Charlie said. "She doesn't belong here. She has a home."

"I do belong here," Bella cried. "I belong with Jasper. He's going to make me immortal."

_Oh God!_

"What?" Charlie screamed, and I could feel his emotions overwhelming him. He didn't know what to feel first; fear, grief, frustration or disbelief.

"I want to be like him," Bella said. "He can love me forever."

"Jasper?" Edward warned.

I pushed some lethargic vibes her way and prepared to catch her, but she didn't go out, no, instead she kept exposing us.

"The Cullens are good vampires, Dad, and they love me," she smiled. She had no idea that she was doing anything wrong. She actually thought she was defending us.

"This is crazy," Charlie said, as he grabbed her hand. "You are going home." He tried to pull her away from me. She didn't like that at all.

"No!" Bella started screaming and swatting Charlie's hand off of her. "I won't let you take me from here. They won't hurt me; they feed from animals, so you have nothing to worry about."

I stepped in between them, and placed my hand on Charlie's shoulder. "I love her, and I can help her," I said. "But, you have to trust me." I pushed more calm his way, but I could feel how scared he was for her.

"She's losing her mind," he said. "She thinks you're a vampire."

_Too bad that wasn't why she was losing her mind. That part was true._

"I won't leave him," she said. "You can't make me." She worked her way between us, and leaned against me. I tried to put her out one last time. It worked because she collapsed against my chest, and then I scooped her up and cradled her in my arms.

Charlie held out his arms for her. "Give her to me," he said. "I can get her home now. You have to agree she needs help. This is worse than the episodes she had when you left her." He pointed at Edward. "She never recovered from that. I should have gotten her help then. I can get her help this time."

"No," I said. "I can't let you do that."

"Do you love her?" he asked.

"Very much," I said.

"Then let me have her." he said. "You can't keep her here away from me. I'm her father."

"Charlie," Edward said. "I know that you don't understand, but Jasper can help her."

"Carlisle," Charlie said. "You are a doctor, for Christ sake," he pleaded. "You know that she needs help."

Carlisle came from around his desk, put his hand on Charlie's back and led him to the couch. He sat down with him and stared into his eyes. "Charlie," he said softly, and I knew he was going to dazzle him. "You need to listen to me," he said, in a soothing voice. "Bella does need help, but not the kind she can get in a hospital. They won't be able to help her there; she knows too much and has seen too many things. What she has experienced, they won't understand."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Shh," Carlisle said. "My family loves your daughter, and we will cure her. She's confused and needs what we can give her. We have the power to help her."

Edward knelt down in front of Charlie, and I could tell he was reading his thoughts. "She's not crazy," Edward said. "She's just lost her way."

"How did you know I thought that?" Charlie asked. I sent him another wave of calm. "What are you people?"

"We're a normal family who loves Bella very much," Carlisle said. "Let us help her. I know you want to. You trust us, Charlie, and you know that it is right to leave Bella with us."

I felt Charlie's trust. "I want you to help her," he said. Carlisle's dazzling was working.

"Of course you do," Carlisle assured him. "You trust us. We would never hurt her."

"I trust you," Charlie said. "Bella should stay with you."

I silently let out a sigh of relief.

"You should go home now," Carlisle said. "I'll call you tomorrow and let you know how Bella is doing. You shouldn't come back here."

"I should go home and you'll call me tomorrow," Charlie repeated. "I won't come back."

"That's right, Charlie," Carlisle said. "You can trust us."

"I can trust you," he said. "All of you." He looked up at me, and I nodded.

"Edward," Carlisle said. "Please drive the chief home. I think he may need some assistance."

"I think you're right," Charlie said, as he stood up and kissed Bella on the forehead. "You'll take care of her?"

"Of course I will," I said. "I love her."

"Thank you," he said, as he walked out of the study with Edward.

I put Bella on the couch and placed her head in my lap. "Carlisle, that was amazing," I said. "I've never seen you do that before."

He sighed, "I don't like to do it, Jasper. It's part of my past that I like to forget." I felt his shame.

"Carlisle," I said. "What you did, you did for Bella. We didn't have a choice."

"No," he agreed. "We didn't. We're just lucky that Charlie thought that Bella had lost her mind, when she started telling him what we were."

"Do you think he believed any of it?" I asked.

"No," he said. "Who would?"

"She did," I said, as I looked down at Bella.

"She is special. Destined to be one of us," he said.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked.

"I do," he said, and I felt his anticipation over having Bella be a Cullen. "If I didn't, I never would have agreed to turn her."

"You know that you don't have to do that now," I said.

He smiled. "Yes, I believe that honor goes to you now."

"But not anytime soon." I said.

"No," he shook his head. "Not with her mind the way it is."

"Carlisle?" I asked. "What did you mean when you said that dazzling was a part of your past that you wanted to forget." I could feel his disappointment in himself.

"I've lived a long time, Jasper," he said. "And believe it or not, I have done things that I'm not proud of."

"I don't believe that," I said. "You're too good."

"I appreciate that, Jasper," he said. "But, I did live with the Volturi for some time, and one can't fully escape them."

"What do you mean?" I asked, but I felt his hesitation.

"It doesn't matter. It's a story for another time," he said. "Let's focus on Bella for now, shall we?"

"I agree," I said. "But Carlisle, whatever you did for them probably wasn't as bad as you think. I can assure you that it was nowhere near as horrid as the things that I have done."

"There are different levels of horrid, I'm afraid," he said. "Let's get her better, and then I'll share some of my history with you." He got up from his desk and left me alone with Bella.

I felt bad for Carlisle. He obviously didn't like having to dazzle Charlie, but at this point, I didn't care. She was here with me, and I would find a way to bring her back. I didn't care how many of us had to sell our souls in the process.

*****I submitted "Innocence Lost" Chapter 4 to fanfictionfrenzy dot com, so it should be up later tonight. Due to the recent interest the site has generated, they are looking for an alternate system, one that will have notifications and be easier to navigate. If that happens they may have to temporarily shut down for "growing pains", if they do, I will find an alternate home for Innocence Lost. Thanks for your patience.**

**If you are following "You'll Be Mine", Kathy and I are working on the next chapter and should have it up soon.**

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	14. Chapter 14

*****Thanks for reviewing! I love hearing from you!**

*****I have to give a special shout out to Kathy and Carol for agreeing to beta two stories of mine. I keep waiting for you both to bail on me and my constant need to write and update! **

**BPOV**

Something was very wrong with me. That I was absolutely sure of. I wanted to be normal, and snap out of this, but it was becoming too hard. I had hurt them all. Charlie was my latest victim. He only wanted to help, to make right what he felt he had screwed up the last time Edward left me. This wasn't his fault. I created this mess when I wasn't honest with Edward.

In my mind, I was able to fix this by going back to the night I had first slept with Jasper. If I would have had the courage to have told Edward that something was wrong and I didn't feel the way I once did, then I would have been free to give myself to Jasper. If Edward could read minds, Alice could see the future, and Jasper could control emotions, why couldn't one of them send me back in time so that I could fix this? _Was that such a crazy request? _

No wonder I was losing my mind. I was surrounded by things that shouldn't exist. Things that didn't exist for most people. Maybe my mind was too fragile to accept the things that I had seen? I should have been stronger, I could have been stronger for Jasper, but I just couldn't seem to get a handle on what was real. I knew Jasper was real because I could feel him with me always, and I was afraid that if he left, he suddenly wouldn't be real anymore.

I felt his arms wrapped around me as he carried me down the hall and back to his bedroom.

"Jasper?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Bella," he said, as he sat down in his chair with me draped across his lap. I felt groggy, and I couldn't really focus. "I had to assist you in Carlisle's study."

His voice was so tired, I could hear it. He wasn't supposed to be tired, was he? "I told Charlie the truth."

"Yes," he laughed. "You sure did."

"He didn't believe me," I said. "He thinks I'm crazy."

"No, he didn't believe you, and Carlisle was able to convince him to let you stay with us."

"I have to apologize to Carlisle," I said. "I didn't mean to expose you."

"We know, Bella," he said, as he stroked my cheek. "It's okay."

"You're a vampire," I said.

He smiled as he looked down at me, "That's not a secret anymore."

"You're not real," I said. "You don't exist."

"Is that what you're afraid of?" he sighed. "That I'll disappear because I'm not real?"

"Yes," I nodded. "What if my mind has created you? All of you?"

"You didn't create us, Bella," I said. "We existed long before you, darlin'."

"I could have," I said. "What if when I moved here, I made it all up, and when I finally collapsed last September, Charlie committed me? Then none of this would be real. I'm probably not even here right now."

"That's not what happened, Bella," he said. "I promise I'm really here, and I'll always be here, but now we have to figure out a way to get you to come back to me."

"I want to stay with you, but if you're not real?"

_Was I talking to a hallucination? Could I have made all of this up? Vampires, wolves, the Volturi? It wasn't natural. Why would a family of vampires be living in Forks? Going to high school over and over again? Not only are they vampires, but they don't drink from humans, and they go out in sunlight. Yes, I was definitely crazy. Only my mind could produce a bunch of animal-drinking vampires who didn't disintegrate in the sun. And, I managed to fall in love with not one, but two?_

"Bella?" I heard a voice call to me, but why bother answering if no one was there? Maybe if I stopped talking to my imaginary vampires, I'd get better, but if I got better, I'd lose Jasper.

"How long has she been staring out into space?" Carlisle asked.

"About ten minutes," Jasper answered. "She doesn't think we are real. She thinks we're something her mind created."

"Dude," Emmett said. "That's fucked up!"

"Emmett," Esme scolded.

_I created Esme to be the mother I always wanted._

8

"Sorry," he whispered. "But, that's Bella."

"Now how are we going to help her?" Rose asked.

"Jasper needs to hunt," Alice said.

I immediately tightened my fingers around my imaginary boyfriend's shirt. If he wasn't a real vampire, then he didn't need to hunt.

He stroked my hair, and I felt calmer. _How did he do that? Oh, he was an empath, I think? Wow, I have a pretty creative imagination for a crazy person._

"I'm fine," Jasper said.

"No," Edward said. "You're not."

_Edward the mind-reader. I loved him first, I still love him. He can read everyone's thoughts but mine, only now he can read my thoughts. This is all very confusing. I can't even keep up with my own creations._

"Bella," Edward said. "You didn't create me. I'm really here. Her thoughts are so precise. She thinks she's in an institution, and we exist only in her imagination. She's afraid if she gets better, she'll lose us. If you are going to help her, you need to hunt."

"You're not me," Jasper said. "I can go a few more days."

"No," Edward said. "You can't. I see your thoughts, and you're wondering why it is taking so much of your power to manipulate Bella. You couldn't put her under in Carlisle's study when she started to expose us."

"No," Jasper said, "She was so worked up that it just took more energy on my part."

"No, Jasper," Carlisle said. "I don't think that's it. You're weak, and you can't help Bella in your current state."

"What do you suggest I do?" Jasper asked. "I can't leave her."

"Yes, you can," Carlisle said, as he walked toward me. I turned my head and saw him coming at me with something in his hand. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around Jasper's neck.

"Carlisle, don't!" Jasper yelled.

I felt a small pinch in my upper arm, and the last thing I remember saying as I looked into Jasper's eyes was, "Don't you disappear."

**JPOV**

Bella collapsed against my chest, and I felt how at peace she was. Her emotions were completely gone, as she fell into a deep sleep.

"What the fuck, Carlisle?" I yelled.

"Hey, Esme?" Emmett said. "How come he can say it?"

"Emmett?" Carlisle warned. "Jasper, I realize that you are upset and thirsty, but you'll need to refrain from using that tone with me."

"I'm sorry," I said. "But, what did you do to her?"

"I've given her a mild sedative," he said. "It will give you an opportunity to hunt and clear your head. Edward is right."

"Wonderful," I said, as I glared at him.

He rolled his eyes. "I've done nothing wrong, you took her from me."

"Apparently, it was you who drove her over the edge in the first place. You heard what Charlie said; he wanted to commit her when you left her last year."

"I left her because of you," he hissed. "Or, have you forgotten the birthday incident?"

I growled, but couldn't attack because I was still holding Bella.

"That's enough," Carlisle said. "I realize the two of you have many issues to work out, but now is not the time. As I was saying, Edward was right when he said that your power was suffering because you are thirsty. We've tried it your way, and it isn't cutting it. Bella is no better than she was when we brought her back from Victoria. In fact, she is much worse."

"Fine," I said, as I extended my arms for Emmett to take Bella. "I'll go for a quick hunt."

Emmett took Bella from me, and Alice pulled the sheets back on the bed.

"I'll stay with her, Jazz," Alice said. "Take your time. I think she'll be out a while."

Carlisle nodded. "She needed an uninterrupted rest, and you need time away from her. I've never seen you look so exhausted."

I got up out of the chair, and walked to the door. Esme hugged me, and said, "Jasper, it doesn't mean you love her any less. If she were in her right mind, she would want you to hunt."

"I know," I faked a smile, but I felt like such a jerk for leaving her after I promised that I wouldn't. "Carlisle," I said. "Will you come with me?"

"Of course, " he said, as he headed for the door.

We went for a quick hunt, and I was thirstier than I realized. It took more than a couple of deer to satiate my appetite. Normally, I never went this long without hunting, especially if I was going to be around humans. I was finding that being close to Bella was helping me with my control.

Once we finished, Carlisle suggested that we go for a walk. He must have sensed my apprehension.

"She's still asleep," he assured me. "I want you to have some time away from her. You need to focus your energy on how you are going to bring her back."

"Whose idea was the intervention?" I asked.

"Edward's," he replied.

"Of course he would want me away from her," I said.

"That's not true. He loves her, and wants her to get better. He knows that you're the one who can do it, but you can't do it if you don't take care of yourself."

"How am I going to bring her back?" I asked. "She doesn't even believe that we are real anymore. I felt her doubt. She thinks she made us up."

"You'll get through to her," he said. "I know you can do it. Your gift is strong, but you have to figure out how to tap into her mind."

"How come you have so much faith in me?" I asked. "No matter how many times I've screwed up throughout the years, you've always stood by me. I've felt your disappointment when I drank from a human, but you always found a way to see past it. Why?"

"Are you not a part of my family?" he asked. "Are you not one of my children?"

"Not like Edward, Emmett and Rosalie," I said.

"Have I ever made you feel like you didn't belong with us? I may not have created you, but I have helped shape the man you've become today."

"Yes," I said. "You are an extremely amazing example. You're so good and giving. I don't deserve it."

"That's not true," he said.

"Carlisle," I said. "Don't tell me that you're not disappointed in the way I handled my feelings for Bella."

"You know that I am, you can feel it," he said. "I'm not upset that you fell in love with her, but I agree things should have been handled differently. I know Alice had visions and that caused you to lie, but now we have to deal with those consequences. We have to help Bella so that she can make amends with Edward."

"That's a huge part of her problem," I said. "Even when she is at her lowest point, and I think she doesn't know what's going on, as soon as she sees Edward, I feel her overwhelming guilt and then she retreats back into her mind."

"She's not completely gone," he said. "That's why I know it's not too late."

"I need to take her away from here," I said. "She can't heal, knowing that she hurt all of you."

"I agree," he said. "But, I don't want you to go far. I still want to treat her."

"I was thinking that we could go to the house in Seattle?" I said, hoping he would agree.

"We haven't been there in such a long time," he said. "But, it's not too far, and I think it's a good choice for you. There's much land, it's secluded and it will allow Bella to spend the time she needs with you."

"I wish I would've just taken her away that first night." I said. "None of this would have happened."

"You don't know that," he said. "Edward would have hunted you both down, and then there was the Victoria situation. Everything happens for a reason, Jasper. I truly believe that."

"Thank you for understanding how much I need her," I said. "I never would have pursued her, if I thought there was another way. It was such a strong feeling, and to know that she reciprocated, well, that just blew me away. No one has ever felt for me, the way Bella does."

"Guess you would know," Carlisle said. "I see it in her eyes, Jasper. She is your mate."

"I love her, Carlisle, and I can't be the reason she slips away from us," I said. "I think I understand why Alice sees Edward with her in that vision. That's how he'll deal with his guilt. He'll never leave her side if she is committed, but I won't be able to face her every day, knowing that it was me who put her there."

"She isn't going anywhere," he said. "If I have to dazzle Charlie every day, then that's what I'll do."

I felt the anxiety and disapproval he had over his own words. "You would do that for Bella?"

"I would," he nodded.

"Even though you are so clearly against that?"

"You don't seem to be having any trouble with that gift, now that you've fed." he smiled.

"Can you tell me about it?" I asked.

"It was a long time ago," he said. "And I'm not very proud of it."

"I've done much that I'm not proud of," I reminded him. "And, you know all about it."

"I do," he smiled, as he sat down on a cluster of huge boulders nestled deep in the woods. I felt his hesitation, but I also knew that he wanted to talk about it.

"So," I asked. "Who did you dazzle?"

"Well, as you know, I lived with the Volturi for a few decades," he said. "It was a difficult time in my life. I had already lived a long time before finding them, and I felt I had no purpose."

"I can relate," I said. "That's how I felt when Alice found me."

"They were busy creating armies and enforcing their laws. I was an outsider to them because of my diet. They didn't understand me, but Aro did respect my choices. He read my thoughts on a daily basis and saw that I lacked a purpose, he thought he was helping me."

His emotions shifted, and it was as if he was reliving this dark time in his past. I felt his shame and disgust.

"He suggested that I try helping them recruit members to join them. Because I could be around humans without wanting to drain them, they would send me out to locate prospects."

"You willingly brought people back to be turned?" I asked. "I'm sorry, it's just I can't imagine you doing that. You always told us that you wouldn't do this to someone who had another choice."

"Didn't you ever think that there was a reason why I felt that way?" he asked.

"So, you dazzled innocents?" I asked.

"Aro was trying to make me one of them. He read my thoughts and saw how different I was. He had always wanted me to sit with them. I tried, but it never felt right. I would go on "hunting" expeditions, trying to locate a more sophisticated, intellectual human. I would engage them in conversation and lure them back to the castle, if I deemed them worthy of immortality."

"The Volturi would have gotten them anyway," I said. "If not the one's you brought to them, someone else."

"I suppose." he sighed. "But, it didn't make it right. I did this for a few years, and I'm responsible for bringing them several members of the Guard, and many of the doctors and scholars who are among them today."

"You preserved special people, Carlisle," I said. "You didn't grant immortality to murderers and rapists."

"No," he said. "But, I turned them into murderers."

"Don't look at it that way," I said. "It's in the past."

"It is," he said. "I left Italy and decided to pursue medicine. I wanted to make amends for the lives I took. I knew I could be better. As soon as I became a practicing doctor, I found my purpose. You know the rest of the story."

"I do," I said. "I'm very grateful that you created this family. You gave me a purpose."

"I'm glad that I could do that for you," he said.

"You haven't used that power since?" I asked.

"Power?" he asked, and I felt his confusion. "We can all dazzle. There isn't anything unique about that."

"You're wrong," I said. "I have never seen another vampire get the results you did with Charlie. You were so persuasive. When the rest of us dazzle, it's not as powerful. I felt it in your emotions. It's different for you."

"Well," he said. "Whatever it is, no, I rarely use it, and never to the extent that I did with Charlie."

"I'm glad you did," I said. "Or else, Bella wouldn't be with us right now."

"Bella means a great deal to me, and the rest of this family," he said, as he stood up and headed back in the direction of the house. "I would do anything to keep her safe."

"Thank you," I said.

"Thank you, Jasper," he said.

"For what?"

"Listening to my past." he said. "I've been able to keep it buried, but after persuading Charlie to leave his only child with us, and rendering him helpless, well, I can't help but feel a bit affected by it all."

"It was nice to finally be able to do something for you," I said, as we took off running back to the house.

As soon as we entered, and I saw all of them sitting in the family room watching television, I had to wonder. I quickly scanned the room, and the one person who I wanted to see there with them was missing.

Alice stood up and walked toward me, "Jazz, don't freak," she said.

"Tell me he's not in that room with her," I hissed.

"She's still asleep," Esme said. "He wanted to sit with her. I saw no harm in it."

"What if she woke up?" I asked. "Started panicking? Do you think he would be the best choice?"

"Jasper," Carlisle said. "No harm has been done. You can go back up to Bella."

I tried to keep my composure, but this incident only confirmed that I had to get her out of this house.

"Alice," I said, as calmly as I could. "Will you pack a bag for Bella, please?"

"Why?" She asked.

"Jasper has decided to take Bella to Seattle," Carlisle said. "Where she can rest and begin to recover."

"Without us?" Alice said, and I felt her hurt.

"I think it's a good idea, and I support his decision," Carlisle said, and that should have been good enough, but of course...

"No!" Edward said from the stairs. "You're not taking her away from us."

"It's not your decision," I said, as I walked up the steps and pushed past him. He followed, grabbing my shoulder and pushing me back.

"I won't let you take her," he growled.

"She chose me," I reminded him. "Get over it and move on."

Carlisle and Emmett came up and stood between us.

"Bella doesn't need this," Carlisle said. "Edward, I agree with Jasper."

"How can you allow this?" he asked. "What if he loses control and hurts her? How is he supposed to hunt, if she won't let him?"

"I would never hurt her," I defended myself.

"Jasper," Carlisle said. "I know that you wouldn't hurt her, but Edward is right about the hunting. One of us will come to Seattle every couple of days to give you a break. You won't argue that."

"Fine," I said. "I need to pack the car. Stay out of her room." I warned Edward. "I'm on edge and it won't take much for me to snap."

"You can't keep me from her," he said. "I've seen Alice's visions, and I see how you abandoned her when she needs you the most."

"Shut up," I said. "That vision will never come to fruition. I would never leave her."

"I think you would," he said, and I felt his certainty. "You pack up, I can't stop you from taking her now that you have Carlisle's blessing, but I will sit with her until you are ready to leave."

"Like hell you will," I walked toward him, but Emmett held me back.

"Jasper," Carlisle said. "You have to remember that Edward never got closure from his relationship with Bella. The two of you lied to him and betrayed him. I know that it couldn't be helped, but allow him this time to be with her now. Can you do that?"

"Do I have a choice? You know what, never mind." I headed down the steps. "Alice, please help me get Bella packed and ready to go."

The sooner I removed her from this situation, the better we would be. I needed to be alone with her, and make her see that it was all going to work out. New surroundings and time for us to form a relationship was exactly what she needed. No more hiding and no more guilt. But, first I had to convince her that I did in fact exist.

*****Now, we can move in the right direction!**

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	15. Chapter 15

*****Thank You! A Reason to Exist hit 1,000 reviews! That makes this my 5****th**** story included in the J/B Over 1,000 Club Community! I appreciate all of your support!**

*****Special hugs to my two sick beta's! I'm glad you are on the mend! **

**JPOV**

Bella was still asleep, due to the sedative Carlisle had given her. I buckled her in the front seat and held her hand, as I drove us to Seattle. I had to trust that this was the right decision, taking her from the rest of them. She was confused and constantly felt guilt over what we had done. When she was coherent, she was trying to decide if we were real or not. Her mind needed time to heal, and Carlisle agreed.

"_Esme and I will come up in the morning and go grocery shopping," he said. "You won't be able to leave her tomorrow, and she'll need to eat."_

"_Do you think I'm making the right decision?" I asked. "Taking her away?"_

"_Normally, I would say no," he said. "But given the circumstances, I think you are the only one who is going to get through to her. If she ends up in a hospital, they'll never believe the things that she has seen. They will think she has completely lost it."_

"_The sad part of this is that it's all true. She's not crazy, we do exist."_

"_She's going to be fine," he assured me. "Rationally, her mind wants her to believe that we can't exist in her world, but she knows better. She knows we're real, and once she has time to rest and be with you, she'll see that it's okay. She's been through so much. The mind is a strange entity, and it doesn't take much for it to shut down. People break down from far less than what our Bella has experienced."_

"_She's so young, and we've put her through so much already. What if she can't recover from that?" I asked. "Vampires, James biting her, Victoria taking her, Edward leaving her, wolves, the Volturi?"_

"_I guess if I were human, I wouldn't believe it either," he laughed. "It would be much easier to think I made it all up."_

"_But she didn't," I said. "I need her to come back to me."_

"_She will, Jasper," he said. "You're just going to have to have faith in her."_

I could do that. I could have faith that she would come back to me. I refused to believe that we had found one another and connected on the level that we had, for it not to work out.

As I pulled up into the driveway, Bella started to stir. I turned to her, and stroked the hair from her face.

She opened her eyes and stared at me, but I didn't feel any confusion coming from her. That was a good sign.

"Sleep well, darlin'?" I asked.

"Yes," she smiled at me, and then looked out the window in the direction of the house. It was a rather large home that was really meant for all of the Cullens to occupy. We had lived here about ten years ago when we were attending college, from there we went to Alaska, and then to Forks. Esme and Carlisle kept up with the property, and recently had it renovated. We always needed a back up plan if we felt we were going to be exposed. I thought it would be the perfect place for Bella to recover. It was quiet and serene. The house backed up to a private lake, and the entire property was surrounded by woods. There wasn't another house for at least ten miles.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Seattle," I said. "I wanted to take you away, so that you could get better."

"I don't think I'm sick," she said. "I don't know if I can recover from this."

"Yes, you can," I said. "And, I'll help you."

"Whose house is this?" She was so detached, and her emotions were erratic.

"It's ours," I smiled, as I got out and moved to her door. I opened it and extended my hand for her.

"Have I been here before?" She asked, as she tried to remember. "It doesn't look familiar."

"No, Bella," I said. "This house belongs to the Cullens. We're just borrowing it."

"I don't have a lot of energy," she said. "But, I slept a really long time."

I scooped her up and carried her to the front door.

"How do you move so fast?" she asked.

"Vampire speed, remember?" I asked, as I carried her into the house. I put her down and looked into her eyes. "I'm really here, Bella," I said, as I cupped her chin in my hand. "You have to believe that." I could still feel her uncertainty. She didn't trust her mind.

"I didn't make you up?" She wanted to believe that. I felt her determination, but she was so unsure.

"No," I said. "I'm very real, and I'm very much in love with you." I gently kissed her lips.

"You're so cold," she said, as she pressed her lips against mine and quickly deepened the kiss. "You taste really good too." She moved her body closer to mine, as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Like cinnamon and spice. You remind me of autumn." I felt her desire quickly start to crash into me. She started to play with the hair at the nape of my neck, as she swirled her tongue inside my mouth.

_God that felt good._ She was feeling the effects of being close to me. Most humans couldn't resist us, and her body was responding accordingly. She was falling deeper into me, as our bodies molded against one another. She was incredibly soft and warm. I had to put a stop to this, but I didn't want to. I wanted her as much as she wanted me, but now was not the time.

I pulled away from her and replaced her lust with calm. She stopped kissing me, and I suddenly felt her confusion. "Did you do that to me?"

I laughed as I led her to the kitchen. "Sorry," I said. "Trust me, if we would have kept that up, we'd be in the bedroom by now, but that's not what you need right now."

"It helps," she admitted, and I felt her embarrassment. "Being with you seems to be the only real thing in my life. When we're close, I feel normal."

"We will be close again," I said. "But, not now. We need to figure out how to convince your mind that everything is going to fine."

"You won't leave?" She asked.

"Not ever," I said. "Unless you want me to."

"I'm unsure of so many things," she said. "But, I know that I belong with you. My mind might not be making any sense right now, but I know I'll never want you to leave."

"I'll always be with you," I said.

"Because you'll live forever?" I knew she was looking for me to confirm what I was.

"Yes, I will live forever," I said. "But even if I wasn't immortal, I'd still love you forever."

"Can you make me like you?" I felt her hope, and that determination again.

"Someday," I said. "If that's what you really want."

"I love you," she said. "Can I kiss you?"

"Anytime," I smiled, as I pulled her into my arms and slowly kissed her lips. I allowed her to explore my mouth for a few seconds, but stopped her before she could get any further. She was too hard to resist.

She sighed, and I felt her frustration.

"Are you hungry?" I smiled.

"Not really," she said.

"You haven't eaten in awhile," I said. "We could go pick you up something to eat."

"No," she said. "I'm not hungry."

"Well, if you change your mind," I said. "Let me know."

"Does Charlie know I'm here?" She asked.

"No," I said. "Carlisle will handle that."

"He must be so worried," she said, and I felt her sorrow.

"Do you want to call him?" It wouldn't be the best idea, but if she missed her father, I would want her to call him.

"No," she shook her head. "It's probably better this way, considering what I told him in Carlisle's study."

"You remember that?" I smiled. "He didn't believe you." I assured her.

"Who would?" She smiled, but then I felt her shiver against my chest.

"Now you're cold," I said, as I led her into the family room. I grabbed the blankets that were draped over the couch, and placed them on the floor. I turned the fire place on and then pulled her to the floor with me, wrapping her in one of the oversized throws. I leaned against the couch, placing her between my legs with her back against my chest. She rested her head against my shoulder, as I played with her long strands of hair.

"Tell me how you were created," she said.

"You already know that," I said. "It's not a very pleasant story."

"I want to know where you all came from. Start with Carlisle." she looked up at me. "Please," she said, as she bit her bottom lip.

"Well, since you said please," I smiled as I intertwined my fingers in hers. She knew this story already, but I knew she wanted me to tell it because she wanted assurance that she didn't make it up.

I started with Carlisle and his sad beginnings, his time with the Volturi and how he ended up in medical school, eventually becoming a doctor who would later go on to save Edward's life. Not in the traditional way, but saving him none the less. I told Esme's story, then Rosalie and Emmett's. I didn't know much of Alice's background, only the small bits we had learned after the James incident, and I finished with my own past. She listened so intently, never stopping me to ask questions. I could feel how she grieved for each of our human lives; the people we left behind, and the torture we had all suffered. Her mind was slowly beginning to process that we were all real, and had lived long before she did.

"Do you see, Bella?" I said. "We were people, before we were vampires. We had human lives and families. It was fate that brought the Cullen coven together, and eventually to you."

She crawled into my lap and placed her hands on either side of my face, "I want to believe you," she whispered. "But, what if I accept that you are real, and my mind makes you go away?"

"You're afraid that if you get better, your imaginary vampire family will disappear?" _Only Bella would think that way!_

She nodded, and I felt her fear.

"That can't happen, Bella," I said, as I kissed her. "Because we are real. I'm real, and you have to trust that."

She pulled the blanket off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor, as she leaned into my face and gently pressed her lips to mine. She parted her lips, allowing my tongue access. I did what she wanted, what I wanted. I eagerly explored her mouth, as my hands found their way to her hair. I tangled them in her mane, as I pulled her body closer to mine. She sighed into my mouth, and as I became increasingly harder, I could smell her arousal.

"Touch me," she whispered. "I need to feel your hands all over me. Show me you're really here."

I gently laid her down on the blanket and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, never taking my eyes from hers. I opened her shirt, revealing her lace-covered breasts. I ran my fingertips from the base of her throat down the center of her body, stopping just at the button of her jeans. I lowered my lips to her neck and placed open-mouth kisses along the same path I had made with my fingers, this time stopping at her breasts. Through the thin pink material I took her nipple in my mouth, swirling my tongue over and around it. I rested one hand on her bare stomach, as I moved the other between her legs, spreading them apart. I squeezed her inner thigh, as she moaned out my name. Her voice brought me back to reality, and I realized that this wasn't what I should be doing. As much as I wanted to take her on this floor, I knew it wasn't the time. She wasn't ready for this and to take advantage of this situation, no matter how much we both seemed to want it, was wrong.

I propped myself up on my elbow and gently kissed her lips, replacing her desire with calm. "I'm sorry," I said. "I really want you, but this isn't the right time."

"Yes, it is," she said. "Please don't reject me."

"Bella," I said. "I can't convince you with sex that I exist. You need to realize it on your own. Please understand that I'm not rejecting you. I'll make love to you as soon as I know and can feel that you are ready."

She sighed, but I knew she understood. "You don't have to be such a gentleman."

"Yes," I said, as I buttoned her shirt and pulled the blanket back over her. "I do. Carlisle may have overlooked the shower incident, but he would kill me if I did this with you tonight."

"So you're just following my doctor's orders?" She asked.

"Exactly," I said, as I pulled her onto my chest.

"Will you stay with me all night?" She asked.

"Yes," I said. "I want to be no place else."

I felt her body begin to relax, as I rubbed her neck and shoulders. I sent her some lethargic vibes, and I could feel her body start to give in to sleep.

"Jasper," she said. "I know I didn't make you up."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Because if you were a fantasy that I had made up," she said. "We'd be making love by this fire all night long."

"We will," I smiled. "I promise that I will make love to you by this fire very soon."

**BPOV**

The next few days were a bit hazy. I slept a lot, but Carlisle said that was normal. My mind was trying to recover from all of the recent trauma. He honestly felt that being taken by Victoria was the last straw, and I just collapsed. He said that no mortal was meant to endure the things I had experienced over the last year, and that despite my recent breakdown, I was handling all of this remarkably well. I personally felt like an idiot.

I sat down at the desk chair in the bedroom I was sharing with Jasper, and glanced down at the brush. It reminded me of my recent conversation with Esme. She and Carlisle came to visit, and stocked the house with all of the items necessary for me to live here. Carlisle and Jasper went for a hunt, and Esme took me upstairs and helped me shower and relax. I needed that time with her. I really think I just needed a mom.

_After my shower, Esme told me to sit in the chair so that she could brush and blow out my messy hair. I hadn't been taking very good care of it lately, and she said I would feel better if I looked better._

"_Alice seems to be rubbing off on you," I smiled._

"_Yes," Esme said. "I guess she has, but really, I think you'll feel much better now that you freshened up."_

"_Esme?"_

"_Yes, sweetie," she said, as she continued to straighten my hair with the brush and blow dryer._

"_How come you and Carlisle are being so nice to me?" I asked._

"_Because we love you, and you're part of our family. You still understand that, right?"_

"_Yes, but I've hurt all of you so much."_

"_We've hurt you too," she frowned._

"_Not intentionally," I said. "What happened to my mind isn't your fault, but what I did to Alice and Edward, well, that is my fault."_

"_Ah, Bella," she said. "We know that couldn't be helped. Could you and Jasper have gone about it a different way? Yes, you could have, but Alice and Edward made mistakes, too."_

"_They didn't deserve what Jasper and I did. We betrayed them."_

"_You did, but I see the way you look at Jasper, and you've never looked at Edward that way. I also see the way Jasper interacts with you, and in all of our years together, I can honestly say he has never looked at Alice the way he does you. It's different."_

"_Really?" I asked. "Because as much as I love Edward, and I do love him, it's just different with Jasper. I can't explain it, but I just feel like I belong to him. I started having these feelings shortly after we came back from Italy, but I didn't understand them, and then when Jasper shared his past with me, I couldn't deny it any longer. When he came to me that night, I don't think that either one of us intended for the other to feel that same way, but we did, and we acted on it. I know we both should have ended things with Alice and Edward first, but we didn't, and now I can't take back all of that hurt."_

"_Bella," she smiled. "Time heals, and we have so much time. I trust you'll make this right."_

"_I know you love all of your children, Esme, but I also know how you feel about Edward," I said. _

"_Yes," she nodded. "Edward does hold a special place in my heart, but I love all of my children, you included. It doesn't matter which of my sons you are with. Like I said, you and Jasper have made mistakes, but I've thought it through and I've discussed it with Carlisle. If things had been different for me, and I was with another when Carlisle had found me, I would have done the same thing. Nothing would have stopped me from being with my true mate."_

_I started to feel the tears burning my cheeks. Esme smiled and wiped them away. "Bella, honey, this will work out. You love Jasper, and that will get you through this. When the time is right, you will get your chance to make amends with Edward and Alice." _

I heard Jasper calling for me, as he approached the bedroom. "Darlin'," he said, as he walked in the bedroom. "Are you okay?" he always so worried about me. I wish I could be better for him.

"Yes," I smiled, as I walked toward him. He was still being so careful with me. I looked up at him and I was sure he could feel what I wanted. He bent down and softly kissed my lips. I quickly tried to take more, but he shut me down. He closed his eyes, pressed his forehead to mine and smiled.

"You're making this awfully hard for me," he said.

"Stop fighting me," I said, as I pressed my body against his.

He groaned, and pulled me to the bed, placing me in his lap. "You look better today," he said. "It's raining, so I could take you into town for some shopping or a movie?"

"Maybe tomorrow?" I said. "Today, I'd like just to spend some alone time with you."

"We're alone all the time," he reminded me.

"Yes, but for the first day in over a week, I don't feel like sleeping. I have some energy and I'm starting to feel better. Aren't you tired of watching me sleep?"

"No," he said, as he stroked my cheek. "I'll never tire of anything you do."

"Thanks for taking such good care of me these past few days. I know I've been a bit out of sorts, but I think that Carlisle was right, I just needed some time to rest and allow my mind to figure things out."

"You're still not yourself, Bella," he said. "I can feel that."

"I know," I said. "Carlisle said it will take time, but I've been thinking about some things that Esme and I talked about."

"What about?" he asked.

"About the guilt I have over what we did to Edward and Alice," I said. "And, I know we went about things wrong, but Jasper, if I had to do it again, I wouldn't change anything."

"Nothing?"

"Well, there are a few things I might have done differently," I smiled.

"Like maybe you wouldn't have seduced Edward into rejecting you?" he smiled.

"I wouldn't have done that," I said. "But, the night you came to my bedroom."

"Yes," he said, as he arched a brow, clearly worried.

"I wouldn't have changed that, Jasper," I said. "I love you and I want to be with you, always."

He slowly kissed me, and for the first time in weeks, I didn't feel guilty or ashamed that we were together. "We don't have to hide anymore," I said.

"No," he agreed. "Everyone knows you're mine. And I'm always going to love and care for you."

"I know," she said. "And I look forward to spending forever with you. Do you still want that?"

"I do," he said. "But, we have plenty of time to discuss that."

"You don't think I'm ready to be turned?" I knew he didn't think I was, I could tell.

"No," he said. "I'm sorry, but you've been through too much, and you're not ready for that kind of pressure. That's not a decision you can enter into lightly."

I looked down, and I know he felt how disappointed I was. He tilted my chin, so that I had to look in his beautiful golden eyes. "I'm offering myself to you, Jasper, in every way possible."

"And, I accept completely, but what kind of man would I be to entertain that now? You are still recovering from a huge trauma. We still have much to deal with, and though you've made some progress this week, we still have a long way to go. I will turn you, Bella, if that's what you want, but not until I'm sure your mind can handle it."

_He really was amazing._

"I understand," I said. "I just want you to know that I'm yours, in every sense of the word."

"I know, as I'm yours," he said, as he slowly kissed me, this time eagerly deepening the kiss. I shifted my body so that I could straddle him, as I ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. I could never get enough of him, and right now, I simply needed him.

"Can't you feel how much I want you?" I moaned against his mouth.

"You know I can," he said, as he flipped me onto the bed and hovered over me.

"Please, Jasper," I begged. "I want to feel connected to you. I need to show you how much I love you."

He cupped my face in his hands and gently brought his lips to mine. He had been so tender and loving with me these past few days, but now I needed more.

"I haven't shown you the hot tub," he smirked.

"What?" I was confused. _Why didn't he understand that I wanted to make love? _

"Meet me downstairs," he stood up, and smiled. "The enclosed porch has a fireplace and a hot tub."

I sat up. "But, I don't have a bathing suit."

"Oh, Bella," he shot me the most deliciously wicked grin. "You won't need one."

_Finally..._

*****I'm thinking the next chapter needs to open with hot tub sex? Unless you don't want it.**

*****You have one more week to submit your entries to the Show Us Your Dark Side contest. The link is on my profile page.**

*****Remember...all of my stories can now be found on fanfictionfrenzy dot net. Go check out the site. It's still a WIP, but it has potential.**


	16. Chapter 16

*****Thanks to all of you who are reading and responding. Now that I'm working on two really involved stories (this and Innocence Lost) it's harder for me to respond to all of your reviews, but I do love hearing from you, so please keep them coming!**

*****Thanks Jasper's Darlin Kathy and TwiCarol for beta reading both stories!**

*****Okay…Hot Tub as promised!**

**JPOV**

I couldn't resist her any longer. She had been trying to get me to make love to her, ever since we arrived in Seattle. She was very determined, and it was taking every ounce of control I had to restrain myself. Her lust and desire were constantly at the center of her emotions, and it was hard for me to replace them with something more appropriate, when I was feeling those same desperate emotions. I wanted her, now more than ever.

I knew she was still so fragile and her mind often wandered, and she seemed to get lost in her own little world. The only thing that ever seemed to pull her from her dark place was me. She lit up every time I entered the room. She wanted to be close to me constantly. I didn't mind. I needed her, and wanted her with me always. I knew it was still too soon to determine anything, and she still had much healing to do, but I wanted her to have some independence. It wouldn't be healthy for her to depend on me for everything. I would always love and protect her, and I would never leave her, but I needed her to understand that she was a strong, independent woman who was capable of taking care of herself. Carlisle warned me not to get my hopes up. He had faith in Bella, but he reminded me that she never really had a strong personality to start with, and the drama her mind had suffered might not ever fully recover. This was a problem for me, because how could I turn her, knowing that she could carry that instability over into her new life? I had to believe that it would all work out.

But, for tonight, I would give her what she wanted; what we both craved. She said that she wanted to feel connected to me, and I wasn't strong enough to deny her. I was drawn to her like no other. I felt things for her that I never thought were possible. My gift allowed me to feel the intensity of her love for me. It was surreal. I never thought that I was worthy of that kind of love. I had committed too many horrible acts in my existence to deserve Bella. But, somehow I had her, and I would do everything in my power to keep her.

I turned on the hot tub and lit the fireplace. I placed a change of clothes on the sofa, along with blankets for later. I had a feeling we would be spending most of the evening in this room. I turned on the outside lights, because from the hot tub we had a beautiful view of the lake.

I removed my shirt and shoes, neatly placing them in the corner. I quickly lit all of the candles, and placed them around the room. Just as I turned out the lights, I heard her approaching. Her heart was racing and I felt her nervous energy.

I turned and found her staring at me, as she leaned in the doorway. I had to suppress a growl when I raked my eyes down her body. She was wearing nothing but a short, white, thin silk robe. She was stunning.

I motioned with my finger for her to come to me. She hesitated for a second, as she bit her bottom lip. She was so fucking sexy and if she didn't come to me within the next second, I would take her in the doorway. She slowly walked to me, and stood directly in front of me. She reached out and ran her fingertips up and down my chest, and then over my shoulders. Just as she had done that first night we were together, she pressed her lips to my chest and started to kiss my scars. I knew that they weren't as visible to her as they would have been to another vampire, but she could still vaguely see them, and the fact that she wanted to put her lips to them spoke volumes to me. I felt nothing but her love for me in that moment.

"I want to take all of that pain from you," she whispered, as she trailed her lips up to my shoulders. "Will you let me?"

"I wish you could," I said, as I tangled my fingers in her hair. "But, just by you being here and loving me, makes it so much better." I pulled her head up to meet my mouth. I kissed her with more intensity than I ever had before. I pushed the want and need I was feeling onto her. I needed her to know what she meant to me.

"I need to use my gift tonight, Bella," I whispered against her lips. "I need for you to feel what you do for me."

"Yes," she moaned. "Show me."

I continued to swirl my tongue inside her mouth, exploring her as I reached down and unbuckled my belt. I knew I needed to be inside of her. I had to release this ache, before we could go any further tonight. I stepped back and monitored her emotions, because I had to be certain that this was what she wanted. As much as I wanted her, I could stop if she was confused or uncertain.

As if she could read my mind, she said, "I'm sure, Jasper," she smiled, as she untied the sash on her robe and let it fall open, revealing her naked body to me. "I'm yours." She started to slip it off her shoulders, but I stopped her.

"No," I shook my head. "Leave it on." I felt her desire increase at my words.

"You like when I tell you what to do, don't you? I can feel it," I said, against her lips.

"I just want to make you happy," she said, as she held on to my shoulders, bracing herself for what was to come.

"You do, Bella," I said. "Happier than I've ever been."

I lifted her onto the edge of the hot tub, facing me. I quickly removed my jeans and boxers, as I stepped closer to her. The tub was low enough that I could stand as I entered her. I gripped her thighs and spread her legs apart. She shivered at the contact. The steam from the tub was rising up from behind her as she threw her head back, exposing her glorious neck to me. Her robe slipped off her shoulders, but still covered her back. She was exquisite.

I licked the column of her throat, continuing down to her breasts, sucking and nipping at her tender skin. I wanted to mark her as mine, but I knew I couldn't do it the way I wanted, not without injecting venom. Someday, I thought, there would be time for that, so instead I continued to suck just above her nipple, leaving behind a bright red spot. I licked over the mark and then gently kissed it. _Mine_.

I wrapped her leg around my hip as I bent and spread the other open, revealing her glistening folds to me. I slowly inhaled, taking in her delectable scent. I could wait no longer, as I pulled her body closer to mine and slowly pushed myself into her waiting sex.

"Ah...Jasperrr…" she moaned.

We hadn't done this nearly enough, but I was about to rectify that tonight. I squeezed my eyes shut, and let out a small growl. The need to claim her was overpowering, and knowing that she wanted to be claimed made it all the more enticing.

"Who do you belong to?" I asked, as I thrust deep within her, stilling my movement so that she could answer. I used my power to project my desire onto her. I could feel her lust, so it was only fair that she felt mine.

"You," she said, breathlessly. "Only you." She pushed against me, and I could feel her impatience. _My eager girl._

"We don't have to hide anymore, Bella," I said, as I set an enjoyable pace for the both of us. "No more guilt and no more shame."

"I was never ashamed, Jasper," she moaned. "Oh, don't stop…"

I hiked her leg a few inches higher so that I could slide deeper, as I feasted on her magnificent breasts. I scraped my teeth against her nipple and blew my cool breath against her, eliciting tiny bumps along her skin.

I worked my way back up to her mouth, biting and sucking on her bottom lip. She tasted so sweet.

I felt her walls beginning to clench around me, and I knew she would be cumming soon. "God, you're so fucking tight," I huffed out. My words were strained, but I wanted her to know what she was doing to me.

"Is that a good thing?" she asked, and I smiled at her innocence. She was still so unsure when it came to us being intimate. She was so eager to please me, but if she only knew how much she pleased me.

"It's a very good thing, darlin'," I said, and I felt her satisfaction.

"Jasper," she screamed out. "I'm going to…oh…" She quickly released around me, as I continued to push in and out of her. As she came down from her very intense orgasm, mine started to build.

"Hold on to me," I ordered, as I wrapped her other leg around my waist and pumped as hard as her body would allow. "Bella, you're so perfect…ah…fuck…"

I stilled my movements, and pulled back the sweaty hair that had fallen in her face. She smiled at me and then gently kissed my lips.

She was incredibly happy, and that was contagious. I laughed at her.

"What?" she smiled, as she bit her lip.

"I can feel how happy you are," I said. "And, while I've always felt your love for me, you've never been this happy when we were together."

I briefly felt her sorrow, as I lowered her to the floor. I slipped the robe from her body and led her into the hot tub. I knew her muscles were going to start stiffening, and I could already see the bruises that I had caused on her hips and arms. That was something that couldn't be helped, no matter how careful I tried to be, but something I would always regret.

Once we were seated in the tub, I turned her toward me and stroked her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" I asked. "I should be apologizing for hurting you." I ran my fingers over her shoulder and down her arms.

"That's not hurting me," she sighed. "If that is part of being with you, I accept it."

"I just wish I could be gentler," I admitted.

"You're strength isn't your fault," she said. "You are the tenderest creature I've ever met. The way you are with me, astonishes me."

"You're very easy to love," I said, as I gently kissed her lips. "But, you still haven't told me why you are sorry."

"I felt bad when you said that you were never able to feel how happy I was, when we were together before," she said, as her eyes began to fill with tears.

"You were dealing with so much," I said. "And, I was afraid that I had put too much pressure on you."

"You didn't," she said. "I wanted to be with you, and I'm sorry that I didn't deal with the circumstances better. I'm always happy when we're together, but I wish we handled the situation differently."

"I do too, Bella," I said. "I never should have come to your bedroom that first night. I should have properly ended things with Alice."

"I don't regret our first night at all," she said. "We gave in to our need. It wasn't a one-time occurrence. I think we've proved that we belong together."

"I agree," I said. "There was clearly a pull, but what is it that you regret?"

"How we handled things afterward," she said, and I felt her guilt. "We should have told Edward as soon as we realized that we were in love."

She was right, and we had planned to do just that, but it all changed so quickly. _Why didn't we just come clean in the beginning?_ I knew why, and now looking back on the situation, I think that my dear Alice might have some explaining to do.

"I know that there were circumstances that prevented us from telling the truth," she said. "But we were wrong, and that was my fault."

"It wasn't," I said.

"You wanted to tell Edward right away, but I hesitated, and then Alice saw things that could happen as a direct result of our betrayal."

"It wasn't your fault. We all played a part, but you suffered the most." I was still worried about the lasting affects all of this would have on her.

"I caused the most damage," she said, and I felt her mood begin to shift.

"No," I said. "It's all going to work out."

"How could it? How can I ever go back there, knowing how I hurt everyone? What I did to Edward and Alice?"

"Is that what you're worried about?" I asked. "That I'll make you go back to Forks and live under the same roof with the rest of the family?"

"It's your family, Jasper. They're your coven," she said. "I don't want you to be unhappy."

"Sugar," I said, as I moved my lips closer to hers, "You are my family. I love the Cullens, but you are all I'll ever need." I slowly kissed her lips, as I moved my hands up and down her sides. I knew I needed her again, but I wasn't sure she was ready. I felt her lust, and then she confirmed my suspicions with her next question.

"Jasper?" she said, as she hopped into my lap and straddled me. "Can we do it again?"

"We can always do it, darlin', but are you sure you're up to it?"

She reached down between us and took me in her hand. I hissed at the contact, as my hips involuntarily jerked into her hold. "You're certainly up to it," she giggled.

She slowly slid herself onto me, and started rocking into me. She had a determined look on her face, and again I felt her desire to please me. I grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her to my lips. I stood up, never breaking our connection, as we continued to grind into one another. The sensation of Bella's warmth wrapped around me was amazing. She truly was all I would ever need.

I reached down and slipped my finger inside of her, finding her receptive clit. She squeezed her muscles even tighter around my already sensitive cock. This girl had me losing my load faster and faster with every encounter.

"Bella, baby," I said. "I can't, oh…"

She wrapped her legs around me as tight as she could, and then I felt her body shudder against mine. She collapsed against me, as her head rested on my shoulder.

I carried her out of the hot tub and over to the fireplace. She started to shiver, so I put her down and wrapped her in a towel, gently drying her body. I quickly dried myself off and wrapped the towel around my waist, as I reached for her clothes.

"No," she shook her head. "No clothes."

"Bella," I said. "You'll freeze out here."

"No," she said. "The fire is warm."

I grabbed a blanket and pulled it around her body, and then I lowered us to the floor. I snuggled her against me.

"See," she said. "You know how to take care of me."

I reached for a bottle of water that I had placed on the table next to us before she came down.

"Drink this," I said.

"I'm not thirsty," she said, but took the bottle from me anyway.

"Please drink the water," I said. "I don't want to have to explain to Carlisle how I managed to dehydrate you."

"Oh," she smiled, as the blush over took her cheeks.

I stroked her hair as I felt her relax into my chest. "Would you like me to help you sleep now?"

"No!" she panicked. "I've slept too much this past week. I want to stay with you."

"Bella, silly girl," I said. "If you're tired, you can sleep. I'll stay with you."

"I don't want to sleep," she said, as she looked up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes that were suddenly filled with lust. She got up on her knees and faced me.

"Bella? You can't be serious?" I laughed. "As much as I want you, and I do want you very much, you need some recovery time."

"No," she shook her head. "I need my hot, sexy vampire to ravish me."

"Are you convinced that I'm real now?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I'm not exactly sure."

"What?" I asked in horror.

She giggled.

"You're teasing me," I said, as I laid her down and hovered over her. "I like it."

"I really need you to prove to me that you're really here," she said, as she reached for me.

"Oh," I smiled. "I'll prove it to you over and over again, if I have to."

**Carlisle's POV**

"Come in, Alice," I finally said, after she paced the hall for several minutes.

She walked in and sat on my desk, directly in front of me. She smiled, but she wasn't happy.

"I've been waiting for you to come to me," I said.

"You know what I've done?" She asked.

I nodded.

"It wasn't all my fault," she said. "I didn't mean for Bella to freak out. I thought she'd just go back to Edward."

"How much, exactly, was your fault?" I asked. "Help me understand."

"The first night that Jasper and Bella were together," she said, as she closed her eyes, and I knew this wasn't easy for her. "I saw Jasper go to her room, but he was conflicted, and I didn't think that Bella would help his decision. I had always seen her with Edward, so when they did make love, I just figured that they would realize that they had made a mistake."

"But, wasn't it you who told them that they needed to come clean with Edward, initially?" I asked. "In order for them to be together?"

"I lied," I said. "Originally, Bella was going to tell Edward and he was going to freak out. He and Jasper were going to have a huge falling out, and Bella was going to feel immense guilt over that. She was going to choose Edward, but not because she didn't love Jasper. She wanted to keep the peace. You and Esme were going to side with Bella and Edward, and Jasper was going to feel out of place here."

"And what was to become of you and Jasper?" I asked.

"We were going to leave," she said. "Together. I was going to forgive him, and we were going to stay together."

"Alice," I sighed. "I understand that you didn't want to let Jasper go, but you risked Bella's sanity. When did you start to tell the truth? What visions were true?"

"The longer Bella waited to tell Edward, the closer she and Jasper became. I knew that if she ended up telling Edward at that point, he would let her go. He wanted her to be happy, so I told them that because of the Victoria situation, they should wait. We couldn't afford for the family to split."

I shook my head. "I'm very disappointed."

"The vision about you was true," she whispered. "When we got back from our hunting trip, I was going to tell Jasper the truth. I could see how much he loved her, and kept getting flickers of their future. They're going to be very happy. But, then I saw Bella tell Edward, and the family did split and we were left vulnerable, and Victoria got to you. Carlisle, you have to believe that. I couldn't risk anything happening to you. I ran home and stopped Bella from confessing."

"I believe you, Alice," I said. "And, I appreciate what you did for me, but I wish that you would have come to me."

"I know that I should have," she sobbed. "Please forgive me."

I stood up and pulled her tiny frame into my arms. "Alice," I said. "It's not my forgiveness you need. You and Jasper have to work this out. You have to tell him how you feel."

"He doesn't want me, Carlisle," she said. "He loves her more than he could ever have loved me."

"Bella is Jasper's mate," I said. "I know it's hard to hear, and I'll tell Edward the same thing, but the sooner you two accept it, the sooner this family can move forward."

"We'll never be the same," she said.

"The same, no," I said. "But we can heal from this."

She pulled away from me and said, "I can't see that right now."

"You can't see everything, Alice."

"No," she said as she walked out of the room. "I guess I can't."

*****You didn't think I wasn't going to question Alice's visions, did you?**

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	17. Chapter 17

*****Thanks again to all who are reading and responding! I'm thrilled you like this story!**

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**JPOV**

I drew the curtains back to let in some light. I knew that I had exhausted Bella last night, but she was beginning to stir. I slipped back in bed with her, and gently stroked her cheek.

"Are you going to come back to me now, beautiful girl?" I whispered against her temple.

She opened her eyes and smiled at me. "Jasper?"

I nodded.

"Good Morning," she smiled.

"Not quite," I said. "How are you feeling?" I really didn't have to ask, but I learned long ago that it was polite.

She stretched her body and winced. "Pleasantly sore," she said.

"Sorry, darlin'," I said. "I tried to be gentle."

"You were perfect," she blushed.

"You were incredible," I smiled, and felt myself getting hard. She would be the end of me.

"I've been sleeping a long time?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "It's almost two."

"In the afternoon?" She sat up, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. "Oh my God, I'm a mess."

"You look like you spent the night making love," I said. "It looks good on you."

She let her eyes wander over me. "How come you don't look like you spent the night making love?"

"Well, I've been up longer than you."

"You don't sleep," she said, as she tried to smooth her hair with her hand. It didn't work.

"Exactly," I said. "So, while you were sleeping, I showered and dressed."

She pouted and I felt her disappointment. "Does that mean we're done?"

"No," I laughed. "You are insatiable. I'd like for you to eat before we engage in any more physical activity, though."

"Does this have to do with Carlisle?"

"To an extent," I said. "But, I'd like to see you get some nourishment, too."

"And then we can get back in bed?" she asked. "All day?" I felt her lust.

"Yes," I said. "If that's what you want to do."

"It's not exactly a hardship for you, is it?" She smiled, and I saw remnants of the old Bella flicker in her eyes. The Bella that I hadn't yet experienced for myself, because of all the stress our relationship had put on her.

"No," I said, as I kissed her lips. "It's my favorite thing to do."

She pulled me down on top of her and deepened the kiss. She ran her hands down my back and hitched her leg over my hip. There was nothing between us but the thin material of the sheet, and soon I was going to rip that off her. I had to stop this, before it got out of hand. It wasn't that I didn't want her, but I needed to make sure her needs were met. Although, at the moment I could tell what her needs were.

I pulled away from her and shot her a dose of calm.

"Hey?" she said.

"Being an empath comes in handy," I smiled. "Especially when you are extremely horny."

"I can't help it," she blushed. "I feel the need to constantly be close to you. I think you may have another power."

"Well, then I'm extremely lucky," I smiled. "I want you, Bella, but first let's get you something to eat."

"What about you? Aren't you thirsty?"

"I'm fine," I said. "I can wait another day or so."

"Are you sure?"

"Thank you for your concern, Bella," I said, as I rolled off her. "It means so much to me, that you feel the things you do for me. I've never had anyone feel for me, the way you do."

I felt her doubt.

"Bella?" I said. "I would know."

"I know," she said. "But, Alice loves you."

"She does," I said. "But, it was different. We came together at a time when we both needed something from the other. She needed me to take her to the Cullens, and I needed her to stop from self-destructing."

"Do you still love her?" I felt her anxiety.

"I can't lie to you," I said. "I love her very much."

"Oh," she said, as she looked down. I felt her confusion and uncertainty.

"Bella," I said, as I tilted her chin so that she would look at me. "You still love Edward. I can feel that, but I also can feel that it's not the way you love me. You have never loved him on the level that you have connected with me."

"It's different with you," she said. "Edward is wonderful, and I would have spent the rest of my eternity with him, but I would never have been fulfilled. I know that now."

"It's the same for me," I said. "Except, I did spend an eternity with Alice, and I know that I wasn't fulfilled. It wasn't her fault. We just couldn't love one another that way, because we weren't supposed to. I was meant for you."

"Jasper," she said, as she reached up and traced my lips with her fingertips. "I love you. I know you can feel it, but I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate how good you are to me."

"Bella," I said. "I told you last night that you are very easy to love."

"Will you love me right now?" She smiled.

I scooped her up and carried her to the bathroom. "Shower," I said. "I'll get you lunch, and then we can do whatever you want."

"I want to spend the day in bed, watching movies, eating popcorn and making love to you," she said. "Can we do that?"

"We can certainly do that," I said.

"Okay," she said. "Hurry back. I won't be long in the shower."

I smiled at my eager girl, as I walked downstairs to prepare her lunch. As soon as I hit the staircase, I smelled her. Alice was standing in the foyer waiting for me, and she was afraid. I had a feeling she should be.

"Alice?" I said. "I didn't expect anyone today. Is everything okay?"

She shook her head, but still didn't speak. I felt her remorse and sorrow mix heavily with her fear.

"You've never been afraid of me before," I sighed, as I walked toward her. "So, this must be pretty bad."

"It's the worst thing that I've ever done," she said, as a frown crossed her face.

"Well, since I'm not Edward, it's probably best for you to just spit it out," I said. "And, I'd like you to do it before Bella gets out of the shower." I saw no need in upsetting Bella any further than we already had.

"You already know why I'm here," she said, as she paced the foyer.

"I'd like for you to tell me anyway." I felt my anger increase at the sight of my ex-mate. I knew she had been lying about her visions, but I was so consumed with Bella that I didn't have time to analyze. I let her manipulate the situation, and Bella paid the price. I would never forgive that.

"Jasper," she started. "When you cheated on me with Bella, I was hurt. I thought that you were in a rut, and that you were infatuated by her. We had been together for so long, and I just figured you were bored. I thought if you had time to think about it, you would realize that you belonged with me."

"You knew we were meant to be," I said. "Bella and I."

"But we had been together for so long, and we were happy until…" she didn't finish.

"Until Bella moved to Forks?" I asked. I knew that was when Alice started pulling away from me. I didn't know the reason then, but the more I thought about it, the clearer it became. "You started getting visions of us then, didn't you?"

"Just a glimmer here and there. It wasn't until you tried to attack her that they got stronger, but I thought it was because you couldn't control your blood lust. The visions stopped shortly after we left Forks, but things never got better between the two of us."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"What did you want me to say? Jasper, I think you're going to fall in love with the love of Edward's life?"

"When you got back from Italy, you knew I was struggling then. I started to have feelings for her, but I didn't know what to do with them. If you would have told me then, things might have been different."

"Would you have ignored your feelings and stayed with me?"

"That's not what I meant by different." I didn't want to hurt Alice anymore than I already had, but my loyalty and most importantly, my heart belonged with that fragile angel upstairs.

"You think if I would have told you the truth about you and Bella, she wouldn't have lost her mind?"

"I don't know, but you didn't give us the choice," I said. "You kept quiet and then you went hunting with the rest of the family, knowing that if I stayed behind, I would go to her. You knew that if I made love to her that night, things would never be the same for any of us."

"You should have had more control," she hissed. "It shouldn't have taken my visions to keep you out of her bed."

"You're right, Alice," I said. "What I did was inexcusable. I've apologized for it, and I should have gone about it differently. I should have ended things with you first, and I should have given Bella the opportunity to break it off with Edward, but that didn't happen."

"You hurt me, and I used poor judgment," she said, and I felt her fear again. "I was angry."

"So, you lied about what Bella and I should do," I said. "You told us to tell Edward right away. He was going to fight for her, wasn't he?"

"Yes," she whispered. "She was going to choose him."

"Out of guilt," I said.

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"Because I know Bella," I said. "I know what she feels for me, and the only way she would have gone back to Edward after being with me, was if she was overcome with guilt. So, what happened?"

"Bella hesitated and she didn't tell him right away," she said. "The more time went by, the closer the two of you became. The visions changed and I saw that if you did tell him, Edward was going to release her to make her happy."

"So, you told us not to tell?" I was furious just thinking about it. "You saw what it was doing to Bella. She was slowly slipping from me, and you continued to fuck with us."

"I," she tried to take my hand. I pulled away and glared at her. "You have to understand that I was hurt and I made a mistake."

"You manipulated the situation and you put Bella's sanity at risk. I don't know if she'll ever be the same. How can I forgive you for that?"

"The same way I forgave you for betraying me," she said.

"No," I yelled. "What I did was on impulse, and I came to you and told you what I had done. I would have told you, even if you couldn't have seen it. What you did was vicious and destructive."

"No," she said. "I didn't mean to hurt Bella like that."

"You continued to lie," I said. "Was the Carlisle vision true?"

"Yes," she cried out, and I felt her pain. "I wouldn't lie about that."

"Did you know that Victoria was going to take Bella?" I think if she confessed to that, I would kill her where she stood.

"No, Jasper," she pleaded. "You have to believe me. That was a split-second decision on Victoria's part. I didn't know."

"Why should I believe you?" I asked. "You've been lying to me for months. I asked you point blank if you were doing this on purpose that day we left Bella's house, and what did you?"

"Jasper, I was upset and distraught," she sobbed.

"You fucking smacked me," I shouted. "Do you remember, Alice?"

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"How could you do this? How could you hurt her this way? She has been sick over this whole thing. She never wanted to hurt you or Edward. You deliberately manipulated the situation, and made it so much harder than it had to be."

"I know," she said. "I wanted to apologize."

"Get out," I said, as I pointed to the door.

"What? You're throwing me out? After what you did to me?" I felt her shock, but I wasn't sure what I was capable of at this moment.

"You hurt her and I can't forgive that," I said, as I opened the door.

"She hurt me too," she said. "You're not supposed to sleep with your best friend's husband."

"Husband?" I slammed the door shut. "How many times did I ask you to make it official? I followed you around for decades, waiting for you to commit to me, officially. You knew that we were never meant to be, but you made me believe that we were destined for each other. When you saw in your visions that I had a chance to be happy with Bella, you stood by and let me believe that I was wrong for having those feelings."

"Why can't you understand?"

"Understand what?" My rage was bubbling to the surface, and I instinctively lunged toward her and pinned her to the opposite wall.

She gasped and I felt her surprise. In all of our years together, I had never laid a hand on her.

"Jasper," Bella screamed, as she ran down the steps and put her hand on my shoulder, trying to pull me from Alice. She was shaking and I felt her fear.

"Bella," I said. "Go back upstairs."

"Please, Jasper," she cried. "Don't hurt Alice. It's not her fault, what happened to me."

I was scaring Bella, so I released Alice and slowly turned toward her. Her eyes were filled with tears, and once I locked in on her gaze, she backed away. My own eyes must have been black with rage, and she was afraid.

"Bella," I said. "I'm sorry." I turned to Alice. "I apologize," I said. "I should never have lunged at you, but I can't deal with you right now. You have to leave." I never wanted to hurt Alice, and I knew she was a vampire, so physically I didn't hurt her, but that was still no excuse. I had a lot to make up for, but I wasn't ready for that yet.

She stepped around me and took Bella's hand, "Bella," she said. "I'm so sorry for confusing you."

"Alice," I yelled. "I'm warning you." I feared that all of the progress I had made with Bella was going to go right out the window. I could already feel how sad and confused she was. She was full of guilt and sorrow.

"Jasper," Bella said. "I know why Alice did it. I would have done the same thing, if the situation was reversed."

"Bella, you don't know what you're saying," I looked at Alice. "Do you see what you've done now? You've upset and confused her."

"That wasn't my intention," Alice said.

"I may be confused," Bella said. "But, I understand because, Jasper, if I were losing you, I'd do whatever it took to hold on to you."

"Thank you, Bella," Alice said. "I love him so much."

"I know you do, Alice," Bella cried. "And, I'm sorry that I took him, but I can't give him back."

"He would never come back," Alice said, as she stared at me. "I know you belong together. I've seen it, and no matter how I tried to control the situation, I couldn't keep the two of you apart. It was bigger than me."

"You should have known better," I said.

"And so should you have," she said, and I felt her fury. "You slept with your brother's girlfriend. My best friend, so you aren't blameless in this."

"I never said I was," I said. "But, I wanted to tell the truth and I would have, if you didn't tell me that I could lose Bella in the process."

"Lose me how?" Bella asked.

"Charlie was going to commit you," I said. "Alice told me that I would lose you, if I let you tell Edward the truth."

"That part was true," she said.

"But not anymore, right?" Bella asked, and I felt her anxiety.

"It was never a possibility, Bella," I said. "That's why you are here in Seattle. I would never have let them take you, and I would never have left you. I don't care what Alice saw." I stepped in between them and stared directly at Alice. "I will never listen to another word that you spew out of your lying mouth. I'm done."

"Jasper, please," Bella said.

"Bella, I won't tell you what to do," I said. "So, I'm asking you to respect my feelings. I cannot forgive Alice for what she put you through. I may have triggered your breakdown,"

"No!" Bella cried.

I put my hand up, "Yes, I did, but Alice continued to let you slip away, and I can't let that go." I walked up the steps and into the bedroom. I couldn't deal with it anymore. The rage was festering inside of me, and I had to find away to release it.

I heard Bella tell Alice that she needed to go to me. Alice apologized once more before leaving. I felt her regret and how sincere she was about what she had done, but it wasn't enough for me, not now.

Bella stood in the doorway. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she was so afraid.

I couldn't look at her. She must have thought I was an animal for treating Alice that way.

"I'll never touch you the way I just did to Alice," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry that you did it, or sorry that I saw you do it?" she asked.

"Sorry that you saw me do it," I admitted.

She sighed and walked to me. "Thanks for being honest with me, but look what has happened to you."

"Me?" I said. "You're the one who has suffered the most, and what Alice did was inexcusable."

"What about what we did?" she asked, and I felt her guilt. "We started this."

I took her hand and led her to the bed. I sat down and pulled her into my lap. "Yes," I said. "We did make mistakes, and I was willing to own up to them. I believe you would have too, but Alice stopped us and changed the course of our direction. Look what has happened to you as a result."

"As long as I have you, I'll be fine," she said. "But, Edward and Alice can't say the same. I understand what Alice did."

"How can you?" I asked.

"Because I love you and I would fight any way I had to, if it meant keeping you."

"I know you would, Bella," I said. "I would do the same for you."

"You're already fighting so hard to keep me," she said. "I know you're scared that you'll lose me to myself, but don't be, Jasper." She cupped my face in her warm, tiny hands. "I have no intentions of ever leaving you. I know that you went off on Alice because you're afraid for me, but we can't live this way. We have to rectify what we did. We have to apologize to Edward and Alice."

"You are coming back to me, aren't you?" I gently kissed her lips. "You're right, Bella, I am afraid of losing you, but I should have more faith in you. You're stronger than I give you credit for. I just know that your mind is still not as stable as it once was. I want you to have time to heal, before we make any decisions on how to deal with Edward and Alice. I will call Alice and apologize for my behavior today."

"You're a good man," she smiled. "Alice wasn't mad at you."

"No," I said. "But, she was extremely hurt by the way I treated her."

"She'll forgive you," she said.

"You've already forgiven her, haven't you?" I asked.

"What choice do I have? I hurt her too," she said, and I felt her shame. How was she ever going to get over the mistake we made? "I'm hoping that someday she'll understand that I had no control over falling in love with you."

"I think she already understands that," I said, as I kissed her.

She leaned in closer to me and captured my mouth with hers, quickly thrusting her tongue against mine.

I pulled away and shook my head. "I think I owe you lunch, popcorn and a movie."

"And sex," she grinned. "Don't forget about the sex."

"How could I?" I laughed. "You had no choice, but to be destined for a vampire."

"Why?" she asked, and I felt her confusion.

"Because no mortal could handle your sexual appetite."

"I would never want to do this with anyone, but you," she winked.

"Good," I said, as I stood up and plopped her on the bed. "You'll never get the chance to be with anyone other than me."

"Promise?"

"Promise," I said. "I'll be back in a few minutes with your lunch."

"Vampire speed, please," she giggled.

I laughed as I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. I debated on whether I should call Alice and apologize for my behavior, but I realized I didn't have to when I saw her pacing the back patio, obviously she had never left.

_Would this day ever end?_

I met her on the patio, waiting for her to explain.

"Don't be mad," she said.

"Alice," I said. "I'm not mad you're here. I was debating on whether to call you or not. I need to reiterate how sorry I am that Ilunged at you. It was uncalled for."

"Actually, I deserved much worse after what I did to Bella," she said. "But, Jasper, if you ever come at me again, I will defend myself."

"Alice," I smiled. "It won't ever happen again. I was angry and protective of my…" I stopped, but it was too late.

"Your mate," she smiled. "You were protective of your mate, and I know that."

"So," I said. "Why did you hang around?"

"I knew you'd be feeling sorry for what happened, and I wanted to let you know that I'm okay."

"Thank you," I said. "You have Bella to thank for making me see why you did what you did with those visions. She is so sorry for what she did to you."

"I know she is," Alice said. "And, I'm very sorry for what I did to her. It's going to take her a while to come back from all of this."

"Alice, I don't want to know the future," I said. "I'd just like to live day to day, if you don't mind."

"I understand why you don't trust my visions," she said. "But, Bella is extremely fragile and you're going to have to be patient with her. I'm not telling you this so that you don't turn her, but you may want to wait a bit before making her yours forever."

"She's already mine forever," I said. "It doesn't matter if she's a vampire. I want her either way."

"I know," Alice said. "I can see that, but just consider giving her some time. She'll let you know when she is ready."

"Thanks for the advice," I said.

"I'm sorry for everything," she said, as she turned to leave, but I moved in front of her. She looked up at me, and I felt all of the love she had for me. It was so different than the vibes I got from Bella. Alice wanted to fix me. I was her project that she rescued from the darkness, and that worked for so many years, but now after falling in love with Bella, I realized that there was so much more.

"Thank you," I said, as I took her hand. "If it wasn't for you, I would have been alone and lost. I hope that you find your true mate, because then you'll see what it's really supposed to be like. I want that for you so much. You deserve it."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "I'll always love you, Jasper. And, just because I wouldn't marry you, doesn't mean that Bella won't," she winked and was around front and in her car, before I had time to respond.

I shook my head, and realized that I couldn't focus on all of the negativity anymore. I had Bella and that was all I would ever really need. As I went back into the kitchen to make her lunch, I suddenly felt an ominous haze fall over me. I didn't sense another, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. It occurred to me that if Alice came calling for us, it was only a matter of time before _he_ did as well. Would any of us be ready for that conversation? I certainly wasn't eager to find out.

*****So, don't forget to vote in the Show Us Your Dark Side Contest. The link is on my profile page. There are 12 really fantastic stories!**

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	18. Chapter 18

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**EPOV**

Carlisle," I said, as I paced his study. "I want to go see her."

"It's not a good idea, Edward," he sighed. "She's not ready for you."

"It's been over a week," I reminded him. "I want to see how she is doing. I'm not the reason that this happened to her."

"I realize that, Edward," he said. "But, she associates you with so much pain. She has spoken to Esme about how much guilt she feels over hurting you. Jasper can still feel how fragile she is, and I'm afraid if you go to Seattle now, you'll just jeopardize any progress Jasper has made with Bella. I'm sorry, but I can't allow that to happen."

I looked up and saw Alice standing in the doorway. She looked so sad, and judging from her thoughts, she had done exactly what Carlisle didn't want me to do.

"You went to Seattle?" I asked.

"What?" Carlisle gave her a disapproving look. "I thought we agreed that only Esme and I or Rose and Emmett would go to Seattle for now."

"I'm sorry," Alice said. "But, I had to explain to Jasper why I lied."

I was still extremely upset that Alice had lied and manipulated the situation. I was mostly angry at myself for not being able to hear it in her thoughts. She did a fantastic job of hiding it from me, and I was so caught up in what was going on with Bella that I didn't hear it. I probably didn't want to hear those thoughts.

"Didn't go over as you planned?" Carlisle asked.

"Actually," Alice said. "I expected Jasper to do much more than he did."

I saw the images of Jasper lunging at Alice and pinning her to the wall. Bella came running down the steps; she was hysterical as she pleaded with Jasper to release Alice. "He went after you?"

"Oh dear God," Carlisle said. "In front of Bella?"

"Yes," Alice said. "But, it was never his intention to hurt me. He was upset and he acted on instinct. I can't blame him."

"And Bella?" Carlisle said. "How did she handle it?"

"She was scared and upset," Alice said. "I shouldn't have gone there."

"What if he loses his temper with Bella?" I said. "He is erratic and could attack her."

"That's ridiculous," Carlisle snapped. "And, you know it."

"Carlisle," I said. "Jasper acts on instinct all the time. It's in his nature."

"He would never hurt Bella," he said. "I would bet my existence on it."

"I agree," Alice said. "He was angry that I hurt Bella, and he asked me to leave, but I continued to provoke him. He apologized and I accepted."

I rolled my eyes, "Of course Jasper could do no wrong. He slips up and feeds off humans, he attacked Bella over a paper cut, and then a few months later he sleeps with her behind our backs. Yep, I agree, he's perfect."

"Edward," Carlisle said. "I know you haven't received the proper apology and closure, but I assure you that you will. Just give Bella the time that she needs to heal." He looked at Alice. "I would like both of you to stay away from them."

"Are you asking us or telling us?" I challenged. I rarely ever went against Carlisle, but I had to know that she was okay. I could tell from his thoughts that he wasn't happy with my question.

"You're a grown man," he said. "I can't tell you what to do. I didn't stop you when you went off all of those years ago to feed from your natural source, did I? I accepted you back with open arms."

"Carlisle, I…" he cut me off.

"You just remember that it was you who insisted on bringing Bella into our world. I love her like one of my own, and I won't allow either of you to harm her." He stared at us for what seemed like an eternity. "Am I clear?"

"Of course, Carlisle," Alice said. "Edward, I made a mistake by going to see them. Bella clearly wasn't ready, and Jasper is extremely protective of her. If he senses you coming, he'll lose control, and Bella will get caught in the middle. My vision of her being institutionalized has not disappeared."

"This is my point exactly," Carlisle said. "She isn't out of the woods yet. It's only been a week. She needs more time. Surely, Edward, you can spare some of that?"

"Yes," I sighed. "I guess I can."

"Let's take a trip!" Alice exclaimed, as she flitted around the room.

"What? No," I said. "I don't want to be away from Bella."

"Edward," she said. "You do you realize that she's with Jasper, right?"

"I'm painfully aware of that," I said. "But, I still love her, and I need to be close."

"I've seen their future," she said. "They're not coming back to us."

She was right. I knew that I had lost Bella. At this point, I wasn't even sure she was ever really mine to begin with. I ran my fingers through my hair and paced the study.

"Well?" she said.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked. It was probably a good idea to get away from here for a while. If I was this close to Seattle, I would be too tempted to go to her.

"Paris!" Alice exclaimed.

"Really? Runway shows?"

Carlisle chuckled. "I think it's a wonderful idea."

"Yes," she jumped up and kissed my cheek. "I'll go make the arrangements."

"Can't wait," I smiled.

"Thank you, Edward," Carlisle said. "This is the right thing to do."

"I'm only doing this because I trust that you can help Bella," I said. "And, if staying away from her for now completes that goal, I'll do it."

"Just for now," Carlisle said. "Once she's stronger and has sorted out her feelings, and can handle telling you what she needs to, you can go to her."

"I intend to," I said. "I have things that she needs to hear as well."

**BPOV**

It had been a month since we came to Seattle, and I was starting to feel like myself. I no longer doubted that Jasper and the rest of the Cullens were real, and I knew that Jasper was quite relieved with that realization. I loved our time together, but I knew eventually we would have to join the real word again. I would be content with it being just the two of us forever. There were so many things I wanted to learn about him. We had only been together a short time, and most of that time wasn't spent working on our relationship. Unfortunately, it was spent with Jasper taking care of me.

I felt him tighten his grip around by body, as he pressed his very prominent erection into my back.

"Good morning, darlin'," he said into my hair. "I missed you."

"I can tell," I smiled.

He inched closer to me, as I pushed back against his cold, marble chest. He pulled my leg up over his hip and reached in between my legs.

_God, I loved when he did that._

"Ahh," he said, as he dipped his fingers inside my waiting core. "See, there are certain advantages to you sleeping naked."

"Show me," I moaned, and before I knew it, he was buried to the hilt inside me. "Jasper," I screamed out.

"Fuck, Bella," he said. "I've been waiting hours to do this."

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, as he reached up and started massaging my breast with his skilled hand.

"I didn't want to disturb your rest, and I like watching you sleep, especially when you're naked." He continued to move in and out of me, and every time he pulled completely out and slipped back inside of me, I thought I'd come undone.

"Oh, Jasper…" I felt that incredible feeling start to build in my stomach and all of my muscles began to tighten. Jasper sent me an extra dose of lust, and that always sent me tumbling over the edge, much harder than I would have unassisted. _The beauty of being in love with an empath._

"I know exactly what your body needs, Bella," he purred in my ear. "I'll always make you feel this way."

He released my breast and slipped his hand down between my legs and pushed his fingers inside me, working me at the same time he was sliding in and out of me. It was too much to handle and my orgasm hit me fast. I released all over his fingers. I was barely coming down from my own ecstasy, when Jasper started to scream out my name.

He held me tight as he kissed the back of my neck, working his way to my shoulder and gently biting me. I giggled.

"I'll never tire of that sound," he said.

"You should wake me up like that every morning," I said.

"I believe that I already do," he said.

I rolled over to face him, and smiled at him.

"You're so happy," he said, and I knew he was thrilled that he could feel that.

"I'm happy because of you." I kissed his lips. "I'm feeling much better."

"I can feel that, and I couldn't be happier. I knew you'd come back to me."

"Even when I told you that you didn't exist?"

"Yes," he laughed. "Even then."

"I'm sorry about that," I said.

"It wasn't your fault," he said. "You were dealing with so much."

"The time we're spending together is helping me," I said. "I don't want it to end."

"It doesn't have to," he said, as he stroked my arm. "I'm not going anywhere."

"We have to go back," I said.

"Why?"

"I don't know," I said. "It's where we live."

"We live here," he reminded me. "Carlisle wants us to stay here as long as we want."

"Really?"

"We're not that far from Forks," he said. "We can visit whenever we want."

"We could live here, like a real couple?"

"Yes," he smiled. "I was thinking that when you're up to it, we could attend the University?"

"We, as in me and you?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "I'll go back to college for you."

"Not in September," I said. "Maybe January?"

"Whatever you want," he said.

"I'd like to spend time getting to know you," I said. "I want to go to Texas and explore your roots. I want to meet your friends."

"Peter and Char?" he asked.

"Don't you want me to meet them?"

"Of course I do," he said. "I'm flattered that you want to learn about my past."

"I want to know all of you," I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said. "We can travel as soon as you are up to it."

"Jasper?" I said, and I knew he sensed my curiosity.

"What is it, darlin?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

"Are you going to turn me?" I asked. We hadn't discussed that since we had gotten to Seattle.

"Bella," he said, as he gently kissed my lips. "I want nothing more than to turn you and spend my eternity with you."

"I feel a but coming on," I said.

"You need more time before I can change you. It's a huge adjustment, not only on your body, but on your mind as well. Bella, I can't take the chance that you won't be able to handle that alteration."

I looked down, and I was extremely disappointed. I wanted to be with him forever.

"Bella," he said, as he tilted my chin up. "I'm not saying never. Just not now."

"You don't think I can handle it?"

"I have to be honest with you," he said. "No, I don't think you're ready. I can't do anything that will cause you an eternity of pain."

"What if you don't think I'll ever be ready?" I said.

"You will be," he said. "I have to believe that, and so should you."

"Okay," I said, but I wasn't sure he would ever feel my mind was stable enough to become a vampire.

"Bella," he said, as he wiped the tears from my eyes. "Don't cry. I promise that I will turn you as soon as the time is right. For now, we will just enjoy one another. We have plenty of time for you to become like me."

"Do you promise?"

"You have my word that as soon as you are ready, I'll turn you," he gently kissed my lips. "I'm far too selfish not to."

"Okay," I said. "I trust you."

"Thank you," he said. "Now that we got that out of the way, how about breakfast?"

"What about you?" I asked. I knew he hadn't left me in days. "No one has been here in almost five days."

"I'm fine," he said. "Rose and Em went on a quick trip and Carlisle has been swamped at the hospital. I told Esme not to make the trip alone. I could wait."

"No," I said. "Your eyes are black. You're thirsty, and it can't be easy for you to be around me."

"I'll be okay, Bella. I would never hurt you."

"I know that, but why should you be uncomfortable? You can leave me alone for an hour. I'll be fine."

"Carlisle can come tomorrow," he said. "He misses you."

"He can still come tomorrow, but I want you to hunt today. You've done so much for me; please let me do something for you."

"Bella," he said. "You haven't been alone since we arrived here. I don't know."

"Jasper," I said. "You're being silly. I'll eat, shower and call Charlie. I know he likes hearing from me. Besides, I need to tell him that we've decided to live here. He'll want to come and visit."

"He can come and see you whenever he wants," he said.

"So," I said, as I bit my bottom lip. "Please go hunt. Do it for me, Jasper."

"You are shameless," he said. "Biting that lip."

"I know," I laughed. "Did it work?"

"If you're certain that you'll be okay, I'll go for a quick hunt."

"I'll be fine," I kissed him. "But, hurry back so I don't miss you."

"I'll get your breakfast together and then I'll head out. I won't be gone long and when I get back, we can plan that trip to Texas."

"Really?" I squealed. "You'll take me to meet Peter and Charlotte?"

"Yes," I said. "I'd love for you to meet them."

Eventually Jasper pulled himself out of bed, but not before another round of love making, and headed off to hunt. I hadn't been alone since we arrived in Seattle and although he didn't hover, it was still nice to have the quiet time. It made me feel a bit independent, and that was exactly what I needed to feel whole. I was on a mission to heal, especially knowing that Jasper would only turn me when he felt that I was more stable.

I showered and ate my breakfast rather quickly, and I knew he wouldn't be back for a while, so I decided to sit out by the lake. It wasn't a sunny day, but it wasn't raining either and I thought the fresh air might do me some good.

I took a blanket from the house and settled down on the dock. Jasper said that we could buy a boat and sail around the lake, if I wanted. Sitting out here and appreciating the beauty of the property now made me anxious to buy that boat. I wanted to go today and get it. I was finally seeing just how amazing this house was, and I was excited by the fact that I was going to be living here with Jasper on a permanent basis. For the first time in weeks, I looked forward to the future. I was finally starting to realize that I could be with Jasper, without feeling guilty or ashamed.

I closed my eyes and pictured our life together. I imagined what our road trip to Texas would entail, and then what Peter and Charlotte looked like; there was no doubt in my mind that they were just as beautiful as all of the Cullens were. I thought about sharing my first Christmas with Jasper in the house. I wanted a really big tree with thousands of lights. We could sit by the fireplace and listen to holiday music, while I drank hot chocolate. In January, we could start our first semester at the college. He could help me with my homework, and drive me to class every day. Maybe in the spring, he would marry me. I envisioned a simple ceremony with our family and friends. I wanted to wear the most elegant white dress, and I knew that he would look dazzling in his tux. He was perfect in every way, and he was mine.

Perhaps I was getting away from myself, with the whole marriage thing, but I couldn't help but dream. I felt hopeful, and that was such a fantastic feeling. There were so many things that the two of us could share with one another, and I looked forward to all that Jasper could show me. Someday, he would turn me, and make me his forever. I had to believe that. I couldn't imagine a time when we would ever be apart. I belonged to him, and eternity was our only option.

"Isn't that the life you once dreamed of with me, love?"

I quickly turned around and saw him standing over me. I didn't even hear him approach, but of course I wouldn't. He didn't say anything, and for a moment, I was afraid he wasn't real. He was real, he had to be.

"Edward?"

He crouched down next to me and smiled. He was so stunning, but looking into his golden eyes made me sad for so many reasons, but one reason stood out in particular.

"You can still hear my thoughts?" I asked, almost not wanting to know.

He simply nodded.

*****For those of you who are following Innocence Lost, I'm working on the next chapter now, and plan to post this week.**

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	19. Chapter 19

*****Thanks for your patience with this chapter. I debated on the ending lemon, and decided to go with it, so it took me a bit longer to work it out. **

*****Thanks for reading and responding. I hope you are still loving it!**

*****Thanks Kathy and Carol! You're amazing!**

**EPOV**

As soon as I walked around to the backyard, I saw her sitting by the lake. She looked so perfect and peaceful. Jasper wasn't here, I sensed that, and I knew I needed to wait until he got back before I could approach her, so I just decided to watch her for a bit. I missed her so much, it hurt my heart. These were the same feelings I had experienced when I left her last year. I constantly ached for her, but I knew staying away was the best thing for her, especially now that I knew it was Jasper that she wanted.

She looked happy and content and I realized that Carlisle was right. My being here could hurt her progress. I had decided that I would get back in my car and wait for Jasper. I could speak with him about how she was doing and then, when he felt she was ready, I would visit. Those truly were my intentions, but then I heard her thoughts; they were screaming at me.

She was thinking about her future with Jasper. She was dreaming of her wedding day, but she was starting to think she was getting ahead of herself. She imagined sharing a life with Jasper in this house, their first Christmas and going to school together. She was so sure of him, and never doubted how much he loved her and how he would take care of her.

I couldn't help but think that if I could have trusted myself and had more faith in what Bella wanted, it could have been me she was dreaming about. It used to be me that she thought she would spend her eternity with, but I couldn't commit to her fully.

I slowly walked toward her, I knew I should have turned away, but it was as if I was being pulled to her. I needed her to know that I could release her.

"Isn't that the life you once dreamed of with me, love?" I whispered.

She quickly snapped around, and I could hear in her thoughts that she didn't think I was real.

"Edward?"

I kneeled down next to her and smiled. She was so beautiful, and I fought the urge to reach out and touch her face. She was scared because I could still read her, and even she understood what that meant.

"You can still hear my thoughts?" she asked.

I nodded. "Don't be afraid," I said. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Yes," she said. "It means that Jasper is right."

"About what?" I asked.

"I'm Drusilla," she said.

_Drusilla?_

"I'm not following, Bella," I said, as I sat down next to her on the blanket.

She reached up and touched my face, resting her hand on my jaw. She was still confused, I could hear that.

"I'm really here, love," I said. "Can you explain what Jasper was right about?"

"Didn't you watch Buffy?" she asked.

"The vampire slayer?" I laughed. "It wasn't the most accurate interpretation of my kind."

"Is there ever an accurate portrayal of your kind?"

"No," I smiled. "I guess not. So, you're Drusilla? The vampire who had sight like Alice?"

"That's not why I'm like her," she dropped her hand from my face, and I immediately missed the contact. "If my mind isn't right then Jasper won't turn me."

"Because he's afraid that you will carry your current issues into your immortal life," I said, and I had to give Jasper credit for accepting that Bella may never become one of us.

"I'll be a crazy vampire," she said. "That's not a very good combination."

"No," I said. "I'm afraid it isn't, but I don't believe you're crazy."

"You don't?" she smiled.

"No," I assured her. "Jasper doesn't think so either, and if anyone can help you, it's him. He'll turn you, Bella, if that's what you really want."

"I want it more than anything," she said. "But, not just because I want to spend an eternity with Jasper. I mean, I do want that, but I love all of you and I know that I belong in your world."

"You've tried to tell me that several times," I smiled as I took her hand. "But, I was too busy trying to protect you and always thinking that I knew what was best for you."

"I know it was because you love me, Edward, but with Jasper it's different. He wants to protect me, but he knows that I can make my own decisions. He believes in me."

"I believe in you too," I said. "But, I just couldn't condemn you to this life. I was wrong, Bella. I never should have left you and I should have turned you, or at least agreed to have turned you and meant it."

"You weren't going to do it, were you?"

"No," I said. "I bought a house for us a few miles from the Dartmouth campus, and after we married I was going to convince you to go to school."

"What about our deal?" she asked. "If I married you?"

"I would turn you," I said. "I'm not sure I would have done it."

"What? Why would you make me believe that we would be together for eternity?" she said as she jumped up.

"Bella," I said. "I was hoping that after we married and you experienced college and life, that you would see that I was doing it because I loved you. I wanted to show you that we could still be together if you were human, and maybe in time I would have been able to turn you. I needed time."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I was afraid you wouldn't marry me."

"But, you lied to me," I said.

"I was wrong. I realize that now. You were destined to be one of us, but it wasn't me that was supposed to do it."

"I lied to you, too," she said. "I wanted Jasper, but I didn't want to hurt you. I love you."

I closed the space between us and pressed my forehead to hers, as she slipped her fingers through my hair. It was as if nothing had changed between us. We spent so many intimate moments just like this one, but the one thing that was different was now I could hear how she felt. Her thoughts were consumed with Jasper and how much she wanted him, but she was still so torn because she knew that her feelings for me were real and that confused her.

"It's okay," I said. "I believe that we did share a moment in time. It's over now, but I'll never doubt how much you loved me."

"I still love you," she whispered, as the tears began to spill out of her eyes. "But, not the way I thought I did, I want you in my life. Is that selfish?"

"I want to be in your life," I said. "But, that may not be able to happen for a while. You need time to heal and grow closer to Jasper, and you can't do that if I'm lurking in the shadows."

"It hurts you," she said. "I hurt you."

"And I've hurt you," I said. "We'll get past it, but I'm selfish too, and I can't sit around and watch you build a life with Jasper. Not yet."

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked. "I want you to be okay."

"I'll manage," I said. "But it's more important that you're okay."

"You're being too nice to me," she sighed. "I don't deserve it."

"You deserved much more than I gave you." It was killing me to say the words she needed to hear, but if I didn't find a way to release her, she was never going to get better.

She brushed her lips against mine and I pulled away slightly, because it was too much. Being this close to her and touching her, knowing that I would never have her was far too much to handle. She gripped my hair hard and pulled me to her lips. We stayed pressed against one another and she spoke for me inside her head.

_I love you, and I need to thank you for giving me to Jasper. I'll always love you, Edward_.

I slowly pulled away from her, brushing the hair from her eyes and said, "You're welcome." But, our mutual understanding was about to come to an abrupt end. I felt him quickly approaching, and I knew the dominant emotion he'd be feeling between Bella and me was love. It was instinctual for us to protect our mates, and claim what was ours. Jasper perceived me as a threat and the closer he got, the more dangerous his thoughts became.

I backed away from her. "Bella," I said. "Go inside."

"What?" she said. "Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to confuse you with that kiss. I just wanted you to know how sorry I was for hurting you."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," I said. "Just go in the house." It was too late; Jasper was in between us, before Bella even had time to move from where she was standing.

"Jasper?" she said, clearly surprised that he was suddenly standing in front of us. He didn't speak, but instead crouched down in front of her and glared at me. His thoughts were focused on that kiss, but he didn't see it clearly.

"I'm not trying to take her from you," I said.

"Then why are you here?" he hissed.

"Edward wanted to see that I was okay," Bella said. "He isn't trying to get me back."

"And his lips against yours? Was that him checking to see if you were okay, too?"

"I kissed him," she said. She really was not helping our case.

_How did you manage to get her to kiss you?_

"Jasper?" I said.

"Shut up," he said. "I thought Carlisle told you to stay away from her."

"Jasper," she said, as she took his hand. "It's okay."

"Bella," he said. "I need you to go inside now."

"But?" she said.

"Love, listen to Jasper," I said, as he growled at me. He was clearly upset with my term of endearment for her, but he already had her, so he'd have to deal with how I referred to her.

Bella released his hand and nodded. "Please don't hurt each other," she said. "It won't solve anything." She ran into the house, but I could hear how worried she was for the two of us.

"Now you've upset her," I said. "Was your dramatic entrance really necessary?"

**JPOV**

As soon as I approached the tree line to the property, I smelled him.

"Damn it," I said. I was gone an hour, one hour the whole time we were in Seattle and he comes now. _How? Was he stalking her?_ No, I would have sensed him.

I could stay calm. I didn't need to jump to conclusions and scare Bella. So, I decided to slowly approach and stay calm. Calm was very important. I could do it…

_Fuck that!_

They were kissing and I felt the love emitting from the two of them. It was different for Bella though, she was saying goodbye. I could feel that. She was filled with gratitude toward Edward. But, Edward was having a harder time letting go. He was in love and I knew I couldn't blame him completely, but seeing them together after spending all of these weeks alone with Bella was too much to handle, and my natural instincts kicked in. I had to protect what was mine.

I ran and stood between them, spewing obscenities at Edward in my head over that kiss.

"I'm not trying to take her from you," he said, and I knew that wasn't a lie.

"Then why are you here?" I demanded.

"Edward wanted to see that I was okay," Bella said, and I started to feel her anxiety. She realized that I had seen them kissing. "He isn't trying to get me back."

"And his lips against yours? Was that him checking to see if you were okay, too?"

"I kissed him," she said. _Now that, I didn't expect._

_How did you manage to get her to kiss you?_ I asked Edward in my head.

"Jasper?" Edward said. He was trying to get me to see the situation for what it was.

"Shut up," I said. "I thought Carlisle told you to stay away from her."

"Jasper," Bella said, as she took my hand. "It's okay." I couldn't deal with her now. I knew she wasn't to blame because I could feel how she really felt, but I was too keyed up to address her now.

"Bella," I said. "I need you to go inside now."

"But?" she said. I felt her confusion and her need to explain things to me.

"Love, listen to Jasper," he said, and that forced a growl from deep in my chest. I felt Bella's fear.

Bella released my hand and nodded. "Please don't hurt each other," she begged. "It won't solve anything." She ran into the house, but I could feel her concern, and I also knew she was blaming herself for this whole set of circumstances.

"Now you've upset her," he said. "Was your dramatic entrance really necessary?"

"Me?" I said. "What the hell are you even doing here?"

"I needed to see her," he said. "I didn't realize you weren't going to be here. You're always with her."

"She was feeling better," I said. "She needed me to trust her, so I went for a quick hunt."

"I wasn't going to approach her, but I was drawn to her thoughts," he said.

"You can still hear her," I said, knowing that he could.

"You're not surprised?" I felt his sorrow.

"She thinks she's getting better, but she's never going to be the same girl we found in Forks. She's been altered, and I can keep her safe and happy, but you can't cause her anymore stress."

"I'm not trying to," he said. "But, can't you understand that I feel responsible for what happened to her? I brought her into this world."

"She wanted to be in this world," I said, "And, I believe that she would have found her way to me, regardless of you."

I felt his acceptance of that statement.

"I don't want to make this harder for you," I said. "I know that we wronged you. I'm sorry that things unfolded the way they did, but I'm not sorry that I fell in love with her."

"I am," he laughed, but I felt the truth in his words. "But, being in her head has given me the ability to accept the two of you. It's extremely painful. And I know you can feel that, but I can hear how much she loves you. I had that love in the beginning, but then I left her and we never got back what we once had. She depends on you, Jasper, but she also understands that you treat her as an equal. She needs you to take care of her, but you give her the room to make her own choices. That was something I could never do for her."

"Did you find all of this wisdom in Paris?" I asked. I felt his honesty. He was giving me Bella, unconditionally. I never expected that.

"I know where she is better off," he said. "You can be all the things to her that I couldn't."

"Thank you, Edward," I said. "I know that it's because you love her so much that you are able to let her go."

"You would do the same thing for her," he said, and he was right. "She's extremely special, but you have to take care of her. Her mind is so fragile, but I think the best thing for her is to stay here with you."

"She's the reason I exist," I said. "She's the only priority that I have."

"What about turning her?" he asked. "She said that you don't think she's ready, and I agree."

"Carlisle is researching the subject, and he's even contacted the Volturi," I said. "I didn't want to bring them in on this, but they do have an interest in Bella."

"Aro wants her to become one of us," he reminded me.

"He does," I said. "But, he agrees with us on this one. He has forbidden us to turn her, until we feel that she is ready. He believes that an unstable vampire is much worse than a human who knows our secret. He is allowing us to leave her human for the time being."

"Well, it looks as if you have everything covered," he said, but I felt his sadness.

"You can stay with Carlisle and Esme," I told him. "Bella and I are going to stay here in Seattle. I think we've done enough damage, and I see no reason to cause you and Alice any further pain."

"You'll bring her to visit?" he asked.

"If you can manage to keep your lips off her," I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. I felt sorry for him. I knew this was hard, because I felt how much he still loved her, and I knew how much he wanted this life with her.

"She kissed me," he said.

I nodded, "She's worried about you."

"Why are you being so understanding?"

"The same reason you are," I said. _Bella._

"Don't screw it up the way I did," he said. "Give her everything she wants."

"I intend to," I said.

"Goodbye, Jasper," he said. "Tell Bella I'll see her soon."

"I will," I said. "I'm going to bring her back to Forks in a few weeks to see Charlie and Jake; we'll stop by the house."

"Okay," he said, as he turned and headed for his car.

"Edward," I called to him. "She's going to be just fine."

"I know," he said, as he continued to walk away. "You make sure of it."

Of course I would, but I couldn't help but feel for Edward and Alice. I hoped that they would be more than okay at some point in our long lives. I wanted that for them. The sooner we all started to recover from this, the better.

I went back in the house and heard Bella fidgeting around upstairs. Her emotions were all over the place. She was happy that we were together, and that we were starting our new life together, but I also felt her sorrow for Edward. She loved him, but not the same way she loved me. I knew that, and that was probably the only thing that kept me as calm as I tried to be, when I saw the two of them together. She was just a caring soul, and she would always consider his feelings. That was one of the reasons I loved her so much.

I wasn't ready to go upstairs yet. All of these emotions were weighing heavily on me, and I needed time to come down from it all. I grabbed my book and went into the study to read. Bella would come to me when she was ready.

She was pacing the floor and approached the staircase several times, before she finally made it down to me. I continued to read, because I didn't want to make her feel like I was expecting her. She stood in the doorway, and her heart rate began to pick up. She was feeling nervous and self-conscious.

_What was that about?_

I looked up at her, but never expected her to be standing there in that black silk, barely-there negligee. It clung to her breasts perfectly, revealing her fabulous cleavage. The bottom was fringed in lace and hung just below her most intimate of areas.

_Holy Hell…_

She briefly smiled at me, before biting her lip. She was hoping that I approved. She was so young and beautiful, and the love she had for me completely overwhelmed me. I needed her more than she was ever going to need me.

I motioned for her to come to me. She slowly walked to me, and as she moved her scent became stronger, filling the room and hitting me all at once. She was mesmerizing. Once she was close enough to touch, I stood up and placed my hands on her hips, pulling her as close as I could.

"You look stunning," I said. "But, where did this come from?" I pulled on the thin strap that sat on her shoulder.

"Alice sent it with Rosalie last week," she said. "There was a note that said that you liked black lace, and I would know exactly when to wear it." She placed her hands against my chest, leaned in and gently kissed my lips.

"I do like black lace, but anything you wear turns me on." I said, as I picked her up and sat her on the desk in front of me. I sat back in my chair and gently spread her legs apart, and placed my hands on either thigh. She shivered from my touch.

"So, darlin'," I said, in my most charming accent. "You thought that tonight would be appropriate for this?" I slipped my hand a bit higher up her thigh, resting it under the thin material of her ensemble and quickly realized that she wasn't wearing any panties. All of a sudden, my pants became entirely too tight.

I felt her desire spike, as she closed her eyes and nodded at my question.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed. "As much as I want to explore the things that I could do to you on this desk, I think we need to talk."

"We could talk later," she whispered, as she grabbed my hand and pushed it even higher, causing my fingers to brush against her wet sex. I couldn't help but dip my fingers into her slick folds, eliciting a small moan from my extremely horny girl.

"I want to talk first," I said, knowing I was crazy for not taking her fast and hard, but we needed to clear the air before we went any further. I slipped my fingers out of her and rested my hand on her thigh. She let out a frustrated breath.

I laughed at her. "Bella," I said. "I almost lost control when I saw you with Edward today."

"I-I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry that you misinterpreted what you saw. I was saying goodbye to him. I promise, Jasper, I would never hurt you. I just wanted to thank Edward for letting me go, without causing problems for us." I felt her anxiety over her explanation. She didn't think that I believed her.

"Bella," I reassured her. "Don't be nervous. I believe you, and because of the faith I have in you, I didn't lose control. I know that you want to be with me, and I feel how genuine your emotions are when it comes to us."

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else, and I don't ever want to be away from you."

I stood up, twisted my fingers through her long, silky strands and pulled her to my mouth. "I let it go today," I said. "But, I don't ever want your lips on another man."

"Never," she said. "I'm yours, Jasper. I belong to you."

"And, I belong to you," I said, as I slipped her straps off her shoulders. "I want to show you just how much you are to me."

"Please…" she was desperate for my touch, but I didn't want to rush this.

I placed soft, open-mouth kisses on her bare shoulder, dragging my lips down to the dip between her swollen breasts. I squeezed them from underneath and pushed them up, licking the tops of each mound. "You're mine, Bella," I whispered against her skin. "No one ever touches you, but me."

"Make me yours, Jasper," she whispered, as she gripped my hair and guided me to her neck.

"Bella," I said, as I fought to maintain focus. She was far too tempting. "I can't do that today." I slid my hand between her thighs, and slipped my fingers inside her.

"You don't have to turn me," she said. "Just mark me."

I groaned against her neck. She was killing me. I wanted nothing more than to mark her, but it would hurt her too much. I continued to pump my fingers in and out of her, as I contemplated my options.

She sat up on her elbows and looked deep into my eyes. I knew what she wanted, but could I do it without draining her? It would only take a small amount of venom to mark her delicate skin, but not enough to incapacitate her, or start the turning process. The venom was not my biggest concern, although it would burn her, but probably no more than when I released inside of her. The problem I was facing was could I actually risk having her bleed into my mouth, without wanting more than just a taste?

She tilted her neck, exposing her pulsing vein to me. I could hear the blood swishing through her body, as her heart pounded in anticipation of my response. I reached up with my free hand and gently stroked her neck.

"It's not your neck I want to mark," I whispered. "At least not now."

I felt her confusion.

I ran my fingers down and traced the skin just above her nipple. "If I decide to do it," I said, as I licked where my fingers had just touched. "It would be right here."

She reached down between us and unbuttoned my pants. "Do it," she moaned. "Do it while you're inside me." She pushed my pants and boxers over my hips, and let them fall to the floor.

_Fuck, she was killing me, slowly._

She wrapped her legs around my waist, and took me in her hand, sliding my very hard member against her slit. I felt the moisture that had beaded at my tip transfer onto her hot sex.

"Please, Jasper," she moaned. "Don't be afraid. I know you can do it. I trust you with my life."

I swiftly removed my fingers from inside her, and replaced them with my cock. She moaned out my name, but I felt her shock over my speed.

I gently pushed her back down on the desk, as I continued to move inside her.

"Oh God, Jasper…" she moaned. "Feels so good."

She wouldn't be saying that in a few minutes. I started moving faster as I lowered my lips to her breasts, quickly ripping the thin silk material from her body. I tossed it to the side, as I licked and bit her nipples. I slid my hand underneath her back, raising her slightly to meet my mouth. I hit her with an extra dose of lust so that she would be so caught up in the pleasure I was bringing her body, that she might not realize the pain my teeth would cause her.

As much as I feared that I would hurt her, or God forbid, go too far, I couldn't deny how aroused I was at the thought of biting into her soft flesh. I had never marked a human before without the intent of feeding from them, and I certainly never did it while I was making love.

Her climax was quickly approaching, but I had to be sure. "Bella," I whispered. "Look at me."

She struggled to open her eyes, but she did as I asked.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, Jasper," she screamed out, as her release overtook her body. "Do it right now!"

"Hold onto my shoulders," I said. "And, don't move." I knew I needed to be in control, if I was going to pull this off.

She gripped my shoulders as she threw her head back. I thrust into her a few more times, before lowering my mouth to her right breast. I licked over the spot I was about to claim, using my saliva to numb her fragile skin. I quickly bit down, easily breaking the skin. She let out a small whimper, but I knew she wasn't in too much pain. Suddenly I felt a warm gush of liquid squirt into my mouth.

She was sweeter than anything I had ever experienced. As long as I existed, I would never taste anything better, and I knew now that I could never fully be satisfied with any blood that passed my lips. I realized I had to stop, or I'd need to turn her. Luckily, I became distracted by my impending orgasm, so I swiped my tongue over the open wound, sealing it as fast as I could. Just before I released, I opened my eyes and saw the crescent shaped scar she now would carry with her forever. _My crescent shaped mark._

"Bella," I screamed out with my release, as she tightened her legs around me and moved with me.

I dropped my head to her shoulder and steadied my breathing, before looking up at her.

"Jasper," she whispered. "You did it."

I smiled at her and then she reached up with her finger, wiped the excess blood from my jaw and held her finger to my lips. I sucked the blood from her, as she swirled her finger inside my mouth.

"Can I taste too?" she said, as she leaned in and licked my lips, cleaning me of any extra blood.

"You are fucking dangerous," I said, as I grabbed her hair and pulled her to my mouth, kissing her as fiercely as she could handle.

"Maybe I am crazy," she smiled.

"I could grow to like this side," I said.

She smiled as she looked down and ran her finger over her new bite mark.

"Did it hurt much?" I asked.

"No," she shook her head. "You knew exactly what you were doing."

I gently kissed her. "I was very focused," I smiled. "I don't ever want to hurt you."

"Now," she said. "I'm officially yours. Nothing can separate us."

"Nothing," I said, as I ran my hand over my mark. She shivered.

"Cold?" I asked.

"Well, I am standing in your study, completely naked, pressed against you."

"How can we remedy this situation?" I smirked. "Hot tub or shower?" I scooped her up in my arms and headed for the door.

"Both," she smiled. "I want to play in the hot tub first, and then I want to wash every inch of you in the shower."

"Only if I get to wash you, too," I said, as I ran us to the enclosed porch where the hot tub was located.

"I'm counting on it," she said, as I felt her desire for me increase.

"Wicked girl," I moaned against her lips.

*****Wow… that was a long chapter!**

*****I have been waiting to use a Buffy reference ever since Fate, but I could never work it in. The Drusilla one seemed to fit here.**

*****I know some of you would have wanted me to have Jasper rip Edward a new one, but I couldn't in the context of this fic since Edward really didn't do anything wrong. I have a soft spot for Eddie, I know.**

*****The Naughty Girls are sponsoring another contest… The Best Domination Ever Contest. Check out jaspersnaughtygirls dot blogspot dot com for all the details. This one should be fun!**


	20. Chapter 20

*****Thanks for your patience…and for all of the responses.**

*****Thanks beta girls… I appreciate everything!**

*****We're in the homestretch on this one. Right now, I have two more chapters in my notes**

*****I still own nothing, although I did create this Peter in the Trilogy.**

**JPOV**

"Seattle?" Charlie barked, and I felt his concern. "Bella, you can't move to Seattle!"

"Dad," she said. "I already live there. You've been to the house to visit me."

It was true, Carlisle had brought Charlie to visit Bella a few times, and he had been okay with the two of us living together, but that was when he was under Carlisle's dazzling influence and my emotional manipulation. We had decided that it was time for him to face Bella and my relationship on his own. It wasn't working.

"You were recovering from your episode, but now that you're doing better, you can come home," he said.

"Dad," she said. "I can't be without Jasper, not ever."

"Bella?" Charlie was becoming impatient. "That's not healthy behavior. Maybe we should revisit the therapy idea?"

"No!" Bella panicked. "I'm staying with Jasper." She moved as close as she could to me.

I pushed a much-needed dose of calm around the room. "We have to relax," I said. I didn't need Bella blurting out what I was in front of Charlie again. I began to stroke her hair, and she settled down.

Charlie took a deep breath and stared at me. I knew he was suspicious of me. He didn't know what I was doing, but he knew I had some control over the situation.

"Charlie," I said. "You have to agree that Bella is doing better with me. She loves the house in Seattle, and we're going to enroll in the university in January."

"You are?" he asked, and I felt his shock.

"Yes," she jumped up and kissed his cheek. "See, it will all work out." She headed for the staircase. "I have to get some things from my room to take home with me." She smiled at me, but I knew she didn't fully comprehend that Charlie hadn't given his full blessing. She ran up the stairs and to her old room.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked.

"I don't understand?"

"You're too young to be this serious," he said. "Living together? " I felt his disapproval.

"Charlie," I said. "I love her."

"Today," he said.

"Always," I assured him. "I wish there was a way for me to explain how much I love her. I know you think that I'm too young, but age doesn't matter. I know she's the one."

"I know you love her," he said. "I can see that, but she was so sure about Edward and look what happened there."

"I'm not Edward," I said.

"All I'm saying is that Bella was fine until she got involved with your family," he said, and I felt his pain. "You didn't see what happened to her when he left her. She won't survive that kind of trauma again. She's never come back from what has happened to her. I'm her father and I can see that she's not the girl who moved here last year."

"Charlie," I said. "I can't leave her. You're going to have to trust me on this. I can give Bella a good life; a life that she wants. "

"I know you think that now, Jasper," he smiled. "And, as a father, I appreciate how much you love my daughter, but have you thought about all of the things you might have to give up to care for Bella?"

I laughed internally at what he was asking. If he only knew the things Bella was giving up being with me.

"What if she never fully recovers? Are you prepared for a life of looking after her?"

"Of course," I said. "I would do anything for her."

"You may never have children," he said. "If she can't even face her own reality."

"She's not as far gone as you think," I said, but we wouldn't be having children, even if she was completely in her right mind. There was just too much Charlie didn't understand.

"Jasper," he said. "Just a few weeks ago, Bella told me you were a vampire; an animal drinking one, at that. Does that sound like someone who is in their right mind?_"_

_But, I am an animal drinking vampire._

"I know you want to believe that she'll recover," he continued. "But, you need to accept that that might not be possible."

"You're afraid that I'll leave her, eventually," I said. "But, that's what's not possible. If I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you that Bella is what I want, I'll do it."

"You do love her," he said.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you," I said.

Bella came bouncing down the steps with her bag slung over her shoulder. I silently pleaded with Charlie to let her leave with me. She would freak out if he tried to stop her, and without Carlisle, I wasn't sure I could handle both of them.

"Bella," Charlie said. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," she smiled, as she looked at me. "I want to be with Jasper."

"Then I want you to go," he said. "I can see how happy he makes you."

"Thanks!" She hugged him. "I know this is where I belong."

"But," Charlie said. "You'll always have a place here with me. If this doesn't work out or you change your mind for any reason, you can come home."

"I won't change my mind," she smiled at me, and I felt all of the love she had for me.

"Charlie," I said, as I put my arm around Bella's waist. "She'll be fine. I'll bring her back to visit you every week."

"I'm going to hold you to that," he said. I knew he trusted me with her, and I wouldn't fail him.

The car ride back to Seattle was very informative; for both of us.

"How did you get Charlie to agree?" she asked.

"I told him the truth," I said. "I told him I love you, and I will forever." I took her hand and gently kissed her knuckles. I glanced down at our joined hands, and realized that it bothered me that she wasn't wearing my engagement ring. I hadn't given it much thought before, but now that she was starting to get better, maybe it was time to start thinking about making it official.

"He accepted that?"

"Yes," I said. "Why wouldn't he?"

"Well," I said. "Charlie had his heart broken by Renee and I guess, in some respects, he's not about the happily ever after. I think I get it from him."

"Get what?" I asked. Now I was curious.

"The whole love is everything notion," she said, so matter of fact. "It's not for everyone."

"Is it for you?" I asked.

"Jasper," she said, as she squeezed my hand. "You know that I love you. You can feel it."

"I can," I said. "But, when you speak of Charlie, I feel something else. What is it?"

"It's nothing," she said.

"Bella?"

"Well," she said. "Charlie doesn't get the whole marriage thing, and that's why he's worried about us. He's afraid that we're rushing things, but he doesn't have to worry about that."

"He doesn't?" That was a good sign; she didn't think we were rushing things. When it was meant to be, it was meant to be.

"No," I said. "We know what we mean to one another. I want to spend forever with you, and I'm fine with not getting married."

"What?" _How could this be Alice all over again?_ "You were going to marry Edward." I blurted out.

"Well," she said. "He kind of forced me into that. He wouldn't change me if I didn't, but that turned out to be a lie anyway."

"So, you didn't want to marry him?" I asked.

"I thought I wanted to spend forever with him, but it was you that I wanted."

"I want to spend forever with you," I said. "In every sense of the word."

"Me too," she smiled. "And, you don't have to marry me. "

"What?" She sounded so sure. _Where were these feelings coming from?_

"I know that you thought you'd be with Alice forever," she said, and I knew she was trying to make things right for me, but she had no idea. "So, you don't have to worry about making things official with me. We're fine, just as we are."

Didn't she get that I wanted to make things official with her? _Focus, Jasper, you're an empath. Feel what she's trying to tell you._

I tried to clear my head and really understand what she was saying, but all I could hear was her saying that we didn't have to get married. _What was it with the women in my life? Why didn't they want to marry me?_

**BPOV**

The next few weeks were absolutely wonderful. Jasper was so caring and patient with me. I hated being away from him, so he only hunted when he could no longer wait. I told him that wasn't necessary, and that he should go whenever he wanted to. Rose and Emmett came to visit us the most and I was surprised at how close I had gotten to Rosalie over the past few months. It was something that I never expected, but she took on a motherly role with me. She was always looking after me, and making sure I was getting everything that I needed.

She seemed to think I was better suited for Jasper than I was for Edward. She thought that we were a better fit, and she could see how happy I made Jasper. I could see just how much she loved Jasper and that they didn't just pretend about the two of them being twins. They really considered themselves to be brother and sister. I had never noticed that before, but Jasper was extremely fond of Rosalie.

Alice never visited and neither did Edward. That made me sad, that the Cullen's couldn't be together anymore. I felt like I drove a wedge right between them, but Jasper said it wasn't my fault and that eventually Alice and Edward would find a way to be around us again. I didn't see that happening anytime soon. When I would ask Rose about the two of them, she would change the subject. I think it was because she didn't want to set me off. She was still afraid that I could lose my mind at the drop of a hat.

Jasper assured me that I was getting stronger every day. He said that my emotions were no longer erratic, and I never doubted that he existed anymore. I was recovering from the guilt of falling in love with him, and I think that had to do with the fact that Edward released me to Jasper, without any problems. I owed Edward so much. He brought me to Jasper, and as hard as it must have been for him, he let me go and never tried to interfere in my life. I hoped one day we could be friends, because I really missed him. I knew he still served a purpose in my life, and the feelings we had for one another didn't just fade away.

The sun had set hours ago on the warm Texas sky, but the night air was chillier than I had thought it would be. As we pulled up to the massive house set back on a hill, I felt a twinge of anxiety. Jasper felt it too.

"Why so nervous?" he asked. "They can't wait to meet you."

"I want to meet them too," I said. "But, I am human."

"We talked about this," he said. "Peter and Char are among humans all of the time. While it's true that you are their natural food source, I can assure you they won't want to feed from you."

"I know," I smiled. "But, it's different than being with the Cullens. They feed from animals, and your friends kill people."

"It's not their fault, Bella," he said. "They don't kill for the sport, it's how they survive. You'll be surprised at how civilized they actually are. They can control their blood lust, probably much better than I can."

"I know," I said. "I'm being silly. I just want them to like me. You love them so much, and I want them to see how important you are to me."

"They're my family and I know they'll adore you," he said, as he got out and opened my door. I stepped out and he gently took my face in his hands. "Thank you for wanting to do this."

"I want to learn everything about you, Jasper," I said. "Your history is so important to me. The night you shared your beginnings with me, was when I realized that I was in love with you."

He slowly kissed my lips and before I realized it, I was melting against his body as I tangled my fingers in his hair.

"Oh no, you don't," he smiled, as he broke away from me.

I pouted.

"There'll be plenty of time for that later," he said.

"Promise?"

"Promise," he said, as he took my hand and walked up to the house. "Relax," he said, as he gave my hand a squeeze.

Before I could respond, two of the most stunningly beautiful people were standing on the porch waiting for us. They were holding hands and smiling down at us. They looked just like the Cullens; perfect in every way. The only difference was that they had piercing red eyes. I thought they'd have their contacts in, but I guess since I knew the secret, there was really no need.

"Bella," Charlotte said, as she walked down the porch steps and approached me. Jasper let go of my hand and nudged me in her direction. She had me in an embrace before I knew what was happening. "We're so glad that you came."

"Thank you," I said. "I really wanted to meet you." I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was almost as beautiful as Rosalie.

"As did we," she smiled, as she let go of me and was suddenly swept up in Jasper's arms. They moved so fast.

"Char," Jasper said, as he spun her around, setting her down and looking her over. "You look as beautiful as ever!"

"Really?" she smiled. "You don't think I'm aging?"

"Not a day over a hundred," he said.

"You're always the gentleman," she laughed. "You've got quite the catch here, Bella," she smiled, as she kissed Jasper. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he said, as he looked up at Peter.

"Well," Peter said. "The Major finally made it home." He jumped from the porch and landed a few inches from Jasper. He was a striking man. He was built just like Jasper, and when he spoke, he even sounded like him. I could see how happy they were to be in front of one another.

"I told you I'd get here," Jasper said, as Peter pulled him into a manly hug, quickly patting his back and releasing him. He turned and smiled at me.

"Well hello, sugar," he said, as he picked me up and hugged me. I was shocked, and I heard Jasper snicker. "I've heard so much about you."

"All good, I hope?" I said.

Peter smirked, and I knew Jasper had told him everything. "I especially liked the part when you told your father that Jasper wouldn't hurt you because he fed from animals."

I blushed as Jasper pulled me into his arms. "Peter has a strange sense of humor, Bella," he whispered into my hair.

"But," Peter said. "I hear you are doing much better, and we're glad you're here. Jasper never stops talking about you."

"Okay," Jasper said, trying to change the subject. "Are we going to go inside?"

"Of course," Charlotte said. "But, Peter was just on his way to get some wood for the fire place. The nights tend to get a bit chilly, and I don't want Bella to get cold. So, I thought you could go with him, Jasper; and I'll fix Bella something to eat."

"I don't want to be any trouble," I said.

"Nonsense," Peter said. "Wait until you see that kitchen. State of the art everything, and Char is dying to cook in there. Now you've given her a reason. She has stocked the refrigerator, and can't wait to cook for you this week."

"That's very nice of you," I said.

"It's my pleasure, sweetie," Charlotte said. "Let's show you where Jasper learned all of that southern hospitality. Come inside with me."

I turned and looked at Jasper, and he nodded. "I won't be far, darlin'," he said, as he kissed my forehead.

Charlotte took my hand and led me up the steps and into the house. I gasped as I looked around. It was magnificent. I guessed I really shouldn't be shocked anymore. I mean the Cullen's house was huge, and even the one Jasper and I were sharing in Seattle was entirely too big for the two of us.

"Your house is gorgeous," I said.

"Thanks," she said, as she pulled me through the foyer and down a long hall to the kitchen. "We don't get many visitors."

"Whoa," I said, as I looked around the grand kitchen. "Peter wasn't kidding about this." I motioned around the room.

"No," she laughed. "I redecorate and remodel when I'm bored. This was last year's project."

"It's amazing," I said, as I sat down at the table.

Charlotte busied herself with making me dinner, as we talked about her past with Jasper. She told me about Maria, and how she and Peter left to pursue a different life. She explained to me how lost and desperate Jasper was until he found Alice, and she was so glad that he found her and the Cullens. I could tell how much she loved him. How could she not, I thought as I began thinking of all of the things he had done for me in the short time we had been together.

"Peter always said that Alice was not his destiny," she said, as she wiped down the counter top. "I didn't believe him, but I should have known, since Peter is never wrong about these things."

"Does Peter have a gift?" I asked.

"Not one he'll admit to," she smiled, as she talked about her husband. "But, he sees things others can't."

"Like Alice?"

"No," she shook her head. "Not like that. He doesn't get a vision. It's more of an all-knowing thing. He just sees what the rest of us can't."

"And he knew that Jasper wouldn't end up with Alice?" I said, actually kind of shocked. Up until this point, I had assumed it was me that broke them apart.

"He never told Jasper," she said. "Because he needed her so much, and Peter just believed that if Jasper was content, he should mind his business."

"But they were very happy," I said. "I saw them together, and always wished that I had what they did. I had no idea that things weren't what they seemed."

"That's Peter's gift," she said. "Seeing what isn't there, but should be. It always bothered him that Alice wouldn't marry Jasper."

"They are married," I said. "Well, at least I think they still are."

"Bella," she said. "Jasper and Alice were never legally married."

"Well, I guess you guys can't legally get married," I said. "But you could have a ceremony and make it official, can't you?"

"Obviously, you don't know Mr. Jenks, but Alice wouldn't even have a ceremony."

"What?" This didn't make any sense to me. I had always thought that they were married.

"Jasper wanted to marry her several times, but she always refused him," Char said. "It broke his heart. Peter and I hated seeing him that way."

"He never told me this," I said.

"I think after so many years, he just let it go. Bella, Jasper hasn't been truly happy for many years," she said, as she took my hand. "But, now when I talk to him on the phone, I hear the change in him and Peter sees it. He's happier than he's ever been."

"I love him, too," I said.

"Please don't hurt him, Bella," she said. "He's such a good man and he'll take care of you forever."

"I would never," I stopped when I remembered the conversation we had when we left Charlie's house. "Oh God, I think I already hurt him. I didn't mean to. I was trying to make him understand that he didn't have to marry me, if he didn't want to."

"Why would you think that he wouldn't want to? I mean, I know your relationship is new, but he'll never leave you. I can see that and I don't have Peter's power."

"I just didn't want him to feel obligated," I said. "I assumed that he wouldn't want to get married, because it didn't work with Alice. I was trying to show him that I didn't need traditions and a piece of paper to be with him. I just wanted him. I had no idea that Alice had rejected him." _Why didn't he tell me that?_

"Jasper is a romantic," she said. "He wants the traditions."

"He told you what I said, didn't he?" I asked.

She nodded. "He would kill me if he knew I was asking you about it, but the way he talked about you, it didn't make sense that you would say you didn't want to marry him. He's been heartbroken over it."

"Poor Jasper," I said. "He has been so good to me, and I managed to hurt him without even realizing it."

"I knew you didn't mean it," she said. "And, I told him that."

"Thanks," I said. "Now I just have to get him to understand."

"Bella," she said. "Let him come to you with this. I think that would be better."

**JPOV**

"I'm glad you're here," Peter said, as we gathered wood for the fireplace. "It's been too long in between visits."

"It has been," I said. "But, I'm here now."

"Would you consider staying?"

"In Texas?"

"Yes," he said. "You don't live with the Cullens anymore, so why not?"

"I just got Bella settled in Seattle," I said. "And, it was hard enough convincing her father to let her move there. He won't go for Texas."

"You could manipulate him into letting her move here," he smiled.

"No," I shook my head. "He's going to figure it out sooner or later."

"Fine," he said. "Stay in Seattle with your human, see if I care."

"I know your feelings aren't hurt," I smiled. "You can't fuck with an empath."

"Nope, you can't," he said, and I felt his eagerness.

"You have something to tell me?" I asked, knowing he did. The question was, did I want to hear it?

"Bella is very beautiful," he said. "And, she loves you very much. She also depends on you just as much."

"I know that," I said. "It doesn't bother me. I want to take care of her."

"I know you do," he said. "Funny thing is, you need her just as much as she needs you."

"You can see that?"

He rolled his eyes, because he hated thinking that he was anything special. "I've listened to everything you've told me these past few months about Bella. I know that you haven't been happy for a long time. You tried to be happy with Alice and I know you care about the Cullens, but that's not where you belong. I do believe there was a reason you became an animal drinker. It was necessary, if you were ever going to be with Bella."

"I struggled for years with that. I even tried to attack Bella," I said.

"But, you finally got a handle on it," he said. "That was no accident."

"Are you saying that I've been waiting for her, all of these years?"

"Nothing happens by accident," he said. "How many of us end up with a human? You couldn't have done that if you were living off your natural food source. You've been preparing for her. She's your fate."

"I don't doubt that," I said. "I just hope she can handle our unique life."

"She's stronger than you think," he said. "Yes, she's had some setbacks, but really what human wouldn't? They're not meant to even know we exist, and if that was the extent of her breakdown, I think she came out of it remarkably well. She's doing as well as she is because of you, Jasper. In the few minutes that I saw her, I saw how much she loves you, so whatever doubts you are having, you have to let them go."

"I don't doubt her," I said, but I could feel he didn't believe me.

"It's not her you doubt," he said. "It's you that you don't trust."

"That's not true," I said.

"Bullshit!" he spat.

"What do you know?" I said. "You just met her."

"I know you," he said. "And, I've been listening to you drool over her for months now. Do you want my take on this or not?"

"You know that's why I'm here," I sighed. I had been down ever since Bella told me that I didn't have to marry her. I didn't know why that upset me so much, because I could feel how much she loved me, and I knew she wanted to spend eternity with me. I knew how much she depended on me, and how she even hated when I had to leave to hunt. But, that was why her reaction to marrying me bothered me. If she wanted a life with me, why not have it all?

"She's not Alice," Peter said.

"Those are your words of wisdom?" I asked sarcastically.

"Look," he said. "You're the one who fucked this up."

"How?"

"Tell her that you were never married to Alice," he said. "She's only trying to be what you want her to be."

_Of course!_ Now it made sense. I was so caught up in the fact that she said that I didn't have to marry her, that I couldn't feel her motive. She was trying to do something for me.

_Silly girl._

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?" he asked, as he smiled at me.

"You all-knowing bastard."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, as he punched my arm.

"Did you know that I wouldn't end up with Alice?" I asked.

"You should have known that." He rolled his eyes. "For an emotional pansy, you can't seem to feel what's right in front of you."

I kicked his legs out from underneath him, causing him to fall and drop all the firewood.

I laughed, as he quickly popped up and started gathering the wood. "Hurry up, before Char kills me."

"Oh," I said. "Who is the pansy now?"

"Look," he growled. "If your human freezes to death, Char will kill us both."

"You're right," I said, as I helped him with the wood. I was glad I came to see Peter. He helped me put it all into perspective. I misinterpreted what Bella was trying to tell me a few weeks ago and I let it fester, and turn into something that wasn't even there. I never would have let it come between us, but I probably would have never asked her to marry me, but now I knew better. She would be my wife…

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	21. Chapter 21

*****Thanks so much for all of your reviews on that last chapter. Loved reading them all!**

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**JPOV**

We spent the rest of the evening reminiscing with Peter and Char. Bella was so happy and eager to learn about my past, and Peter probably told her entirely too much. She asked so many questions, and wasn't appalled or shocked by anything she heard. That surprised me, because Peter described our past with Maria in great detail. When I gave him a warning glare, he simply told me that she needed to know everything. I knew he was right. I didn't need to hide anything from Bella, or be ashamed of anything I had done in the past.

I glanced down and stared at Bella, who was snuggled so comfortably in my lap. I was unconsciously stroking her hair, and noticed that at some point she had fallen asleep. She was so at ease in a house full of vampires, but that was just my girl.

"You didn't even realize when she crawled into your lap," Peter said. "You two are so natural together."

"I think it's cute," Char smiled. "She loves you so much."

"I'm surprised she fell asleep without," I stopped myself and smiled. "I'm entirely too comfortable around the two of you."

Peter laughed, "Yes, I've been meaning to ask how that is."

"Peter," Charlotte said. "That's none of your business."

"Oh, bullshit," he said. "I have to know how he bones a human without wanting to drain her. She's been in the house three hours and my throat is scorching."

"Well," Char said. "He does have a point, Jasper." She glared at Peter, "I probably wouldn't have been as vulgar, though."

"Oh," he smirked. "You like vulgar. Does Bella like it crude, too?"

"Peter!" she scolded, but I knew he was only teasing.

I smiled and looked down at Bella. "The first time was difficult," I said. "I had to swallow back the venom, and focus so hard. I wanted to be with her, but I wasn't entirely sure that I could do it."

"Jasper, it must have been torture," she said.

"Oh," Peter said. "I'm sure it was a real hardship." As he looked at Bella, I felt his curiosity spike.

"Don't think about her that way," I said.

He smiled at me, but I knew he was still thinking about the specifics of my intimate relationship with Bella.

"I knew that I could never hurt her, and that the burning in my throat was a small price to pay to have her. She means everything to me."

"I can see that," Peter said.

"What else can you see?" I asked.

"Stop reading my emotions," Peter said. "Maybe I'm not ready to reveal all of my secrets. It might keep you here longer."

"As much as I'd love to stay here with the two of you, I have to take her back." I said. "She needs stability, and taking her to see her father once a week helps. Plus, she is so attached to Carlisle, Esme and Rose. We'll come back and visit."

I felt that Peter had something to tell me, and now I was curious about the glances he exchanged with Charlotte.

"Tell him," Char said. "He needs to know what you see."

"Tell me what?" I said.

"That girl who is sleeping so contently in your lap," he said. "She's not crazy."

"I know that," I said.

"No," he said. "You don't. You constantly worry about her mental well-being. She's had to deal with a lot, but she's going to be just fine. She has you."

"Is this something you know for sure?" I asked.

"Would I have said it if I wasn't sure?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I guess you wouldn't have. It's just that we've, well, I've put her through so much already."

"If she wasn't strong enough, her mind could not handle the things she has seen. Yes, she may have temporarily shut down, but she's strong. I can see this. There is something about her that's different from other humans. She didn't stumble upon the Cullens by accident. She was drawn to you. Give her time to adjust, and she'll surprise you."

"She already does," I said. "But, thank you for reassuring me."

"Maybe you better put her to bed," Char said. "She'd be more comfortable upstairs."

"What do you do while she sleeps?" Peter asked.

"Sometimes I read, but mostly I just hold her and wait for her to wake up," I said. "It's the most peaceful time of the day for me, watching her sleep. I think if I turned her, I'd miss that quiet time with her. She depends on me to relax her and help her rest. She's so used to having me by her side, and that makes me feel like I have a purpose."

"You have a higher purpose than watching her sleep," Peter said. "And she'll still depend on you, even when she isn't human." He pulled Charlotte closer to him and smiled. I felt the love they had for one another, and for the first time since they got together, I wasn't envious of what they had. I had it too. Bella loved me as much, if not more than Char loved Peter. I never felt that with Alice, not the way I feel it with Bella.

"Okay," Peter said. "We need to hunt if we are going to get through tomorrow with Bella in the house."

"It's not that bad," Char said. "I thought it was going to be much worse, but I have no desire to drain Bella."

"I'm glad to hear that," I smiled.

"Peter's right," she said.

"I'm always right," he laughed.

She rolled her eyes," I mean, Bella is different. She's not like other humans."

"I know exactly what you mean," I said, as I picked her up and headed upstairs. "You two enjoy your hunt."

"You enjoy your night," he smiled, and I felt his amusement. "We'll be gone for hours." He winked.

I laughed as they headed for the door. I carried her upstairs and into the bedroom. I gently placed her in the bed, with her head propped on the pillows. She had already showered and changed into her sweats before joining the rest of us downstairs, so I didn't have to disturb her to change. I pulled my shirt over my head, but then I got distracted before I could remove my jeans to put on a pair of pajama bottoms. I had to put my lips on her. Even in her sleep, she called to me. I knelt down on the floor by her head, and gently pressed my lips to her mouth.

"Jasper," she sighed, as she opened her eyes.

"Sorry, darlin'," I whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you up, but I couldn't resist those lips."

I kissed her again, as she tangled her fingers in my hair. I felt a quick surge of lust spike through her system and transfer onto me.

"I'm not tired anymore," she smiled. "And, you promised me when we first got here that we could make love, remember?"

"I don't forget anything, Bella," I said. "It's the vampire in me."

"Hmm," she said, as she licked my lips. "I love the way you taste and I was wondering if…" she trailed off, and I felt a huge amount of curiosity mixed with a tinge of embarrassment coming off her.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I was wondering what other parts of you taste like," she said, as she hopped out of bed, took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I stood, facing her, curious as to what she was getting at.

She ran her fingers down my bare chest, stopping just before the top of my jeans. Her warm touch caused my frigid body to shiver. She leaned down and slowly started running her tongue down the center of my chest, as her hands made their way to my belt buckle. I was so caught up in what she was doing, that she managed to get my belt undone and my pants unbuttoned before I could say anything. She dropped to her knees and lowered my zipper.

"Bella?" I said, and it almost came out in a growl.

She looked up at me and smiled, but I felt her overwhelming need to please me. She slipped my jeans down over my hips and as they fell to the floor, she leaned forward and ran her warm tongue just along my hipbone.

"I've wanted to do this for such a long time, Jasper," she said, as she ran her hands up the insides of my thighs.

"Bella…" I moaned. "You don't have to do this." I never wanted her to feel like she had to do something to please me.

"I want to," she said, as she slipped my boxers down my legs. I stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. I felt her desire spike, as she licked her lips and took in the sight of my very erect member. Bella was coming into her own when it came to sex; she was getting bolder and more confident. She always let me lead, and when we tried new things, I could always feel her initial bout of nerves, but that didn't seem to be happening tonight. I felt nothing but want and need coming from her now. She was also extremely determined.

She moved her head closer to me, and my cock twitched from her warm breath. _Oh, there was no way I wasn't blowing this load prematurely._

She looked up at me and smiled seductively, before taking my member into her hand and bringing it to her mouth.

I gripped her hair in my fingers and gently guided her up and down my shaft. Her mouth was so hot, and my hips involuntarily thrust toward her. She jolted back a bit and I felt some anxiety; she probably wasn't prepared for me to be so eager, but that couldn't be helped.

"Relax your throat," I whispered, as I massaged her scalp. "You're doing fantastic." I sent her a quick wave of confidence, while I projected some of my lust on to her. "Feel what you're doing to me."

That seemed to help her, as she took her other hand and grasped the back of my thigh as she took me deeper into her mouth. She bobbed her head back and forth, occasionally swirling her tongue around my tip. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn she had done this before. She was that good.

"God, Bella," I screamed. "That feels so fucking good, oh fuck!"

I pulled her hair, trying really hard not to lose focus and hurt her, but the animal in me was trying to break free. Something about my innocent girl sucking me off on her knees was too much for me to handle. I could feel how much pleasure she was gaining from doing this, and the scent of her arousal was getting stronger.

"Bella," I barely moaned out. She hummed around me and the vibration shot straight to my balls. "Oh, baby, you have to …" I grabbed her by her forearms and quickly pulled her up to face me. I felt her shock at my sudden movement.

"Did I do something wrong?" I felt her confusion.

"No," I said, as I ripped her pants from her body. "As much as I'd like your skilled little mouth to finish," I said, as I lifted her up and pressed her against the wall. "I need to be inside you, now." I growled, as I reached between us and shredded her silk panties. They didn't stand a chance.

"Fuck me, Jasper," she moaned. "Right now." She wrapped her legs around me and gripped my shoulders, bracing herself for what was to come.

She wouldn't have to ask twice, because I quickly pushed into her and began to thrust. I didn't even give her time to adjust and while I knew that my size was the cause of some pain for her, she didn't complain. She was soaking wet and ready for me.

I ran my tongue from her ear down to her collarbone, gently nipping at the skin there, but I needed to see my mark, so I reached down for the hem of her shirt and pushed it up her ribs. She knew that I wanted it off, so she raised her arms so that I could get it over her head. I lowered my tongue to the crescented shape mark I had left behind, licking and sucking it.

"Jasper…" she screamed out. "You're going to make me…" and with that I felt her muscles tighten around me and then she violently released. Tightening her grip around my waist as she dug her nails into my shoulders; had I been human, I would have bled.

She was trying hard to gain control of her breathing, but I wasn't letting up. She felt too good to stop, and I was so close. I continued to pound into her, pushing her hard and fast into the wall. I had a tendency to get carried away when we were like this. She did that to me every time we were close, but I knew I had to protect her fragile body.

"Bella," I whispered against her jaw. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I want you to finish."

I continued to thrust as I walked us over to the bed. I gently laid her down at the edge, while I stood between her legs. I gripped her hips and slowed my pace, so that she wouldn't feel any discomfort. She bent her legs and spread them apart, so that she was completely open for me.

"Yes," I said. "Just like that. Oh, you're so tight." It only took a few more thrusts and I was home. I collapsed onto her chest and gently kissed her lips.

She ran her fingers through my hair and rubbed my back. I looked into her eyes, and then cupped her chin in my hands.

"That was amazing," I said.

"Jasper," she said. "I want to marry you."

"What?"

"I thought you didn't want to get married, so I was giving you an out. I really do want to marry you, and I figured you'd be able to feel that, but when you didn't question me, I thought you didn't want me like that."

I rolled off her and moved her to the top of the bed, pulling the blankets over her as I slipped behind her, resting her against me.

"How could you ever think that I wouldn't want you in any capacity?" I asked. "You foolish girl."

"How come you didn't feel what I was doing?" she asked, and it was a very good question.

"Because I was so devastated by what you were saying, that I wasn't paying attention to what you were feeling. All I heard was that I didn't have to marry you, and I thought that was your way of saying that you didn't want to marry me."

"I do want to marry you, more than anything," she said. "Can we?"

"I think it's customary for me to ask you," I said.

"So then ask," she said.

"Not now, darlin'," I smiled into her hair.

"Why not?" I felt her shock.

"Because there are certain traditions that have to be followed, preparations that need to be made. I'm relying on what I learned in 1861."

"Oh," she said. "I wasn't trying to rush you."

"I know, but you have to understand that I love you Bella and always will, even if you really didn't want to marry me."

"Jasper," she said. "How could I not want to marry you? I've already promised to spend eternity with you. You're all I think about. I simply need you."

"I need you too," I said. "And nothing will ever come between us."

She rolled over to look at me. "I love you," she said. "And, I'm so glad that you brought me here."

"Peter and Char adore you," I said. "They want us to stay longer."

"Is that what you want? I can see how happy you are here with them."

"I love them," I said. "And, I missed them terribly, but I'm happy because you are here with me. I am honored that you wanted to meet them and share my past. It means so much to me."

"You've done so much for me," she said. "I just want you to know that I would do anything for you and go anywhere with you. If you want to live in Texas, I'll do that for you."

I felt how sincere she was, how much she wanted to please me. Her love truly knew no bounds, and because I was an empath, I knew her love for me was just as powerful as mine was for her.

"I appreciate that, darlin'," I said. "But, I think you need to be close to Charlie. I also know how close you are to Carlisle and Esme."

"Rose and Emmett, too," she said. "And," she stopped, and I felt her guilt.

"It's okay if you miss Edward," I said. "I know you love him."

"I do love him," she said. "And I miss him. Do you think he'll ever accept us? Maybe we can become a family with the Cullens?"

I felt her hope, and I wanted to make that happen for her.

"I think he'll come around eventually," I said. "It's just going to take some time, baby. Losing you was a big deal."

"Can't you do something to make it happen?" She yawned, as she sank deeper into my chest. "And, Alice too? I miss her."

"I know you do," I said, as I kissed the top of her head. "We'll start working on it when we get home."

"Thank you," she said. "You would do anything for me, too, wouldn't you?"

"Anything," I said.

"Hmm," she said, and I felt her body beginning to succumb to sleep. I stroked her hair and slowly started to assist her with sleep.

"Bella?" I whispered.

"Yes, baby," she said.

"Did I taste as good as you thought I would?"

"Much better," she said. "But,"

"What?"

"Next time, I really want to taste you," she said. "You can't stop me before you, well, you know."

"I wouldn't dream of stopping you," I laughed.

"Good," she smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

I knew she would do anything to make me happy. She was even willing to move here and live among two human drinking vampires for me. Her love was unconditional, and she accepted me, even knowing about my past. If she wanted the Cullens to be a part of our lives, then she would have them; all of them. Now I just had to figure out a way to accomplish that.

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	22. Chapter 22

*****Sorry for the delay. I snuck in an extra chapter of Innocence Lost and I wrote a o/s for the "We Don't Need No Stinkin Coven" Contest. The new Peter/Bella fic, Searching For Something is on my profile page.**

*****Thanks Jasper's Darlin Kathy and TwiCarol. I know I've been fast and furious these last few weeks!**

**JPOV**

The lengths I had to go to just to make this day happen…

Bella and I had spent most of the summer traveling. We stayed in Texas a few weeks longer than we had originally planned, and being around Peter and Char seemed to help her. We explored my home state and visited several battle scene locations and museums focusing on the Civil War. Despite having lived through this time, sharing it with Bella seemed different. It was often a time that I wanted to forget, because serving in that army and being in that particular location when Maria had approached was the demise of my human life. Bella didn't see it that way, she encouraged me to embrace my past and explore my history. So, we spent most of the summer doing just that. It was the most fun I had in my entire vampire life.

We hadn't seen much of the Cullen's and I knew Bella missed them, I could feel it. Carlisle came to check on Bella last week, and that gave me the opportunity to run the needed errands necessary to make this happen. Edward was a much easier sell than Alice was, but I had to give it a try.

I went to the house and asked them to both join us for a family gathering. At first I could feel their apprehension, and I couldn't blame them. If I were in their position, I wouldn't have wanted to spend the afternoon with me and Bella either.

"I think I'll pass, Jazz," Alice said, as she gazed out the window, trying to mask her emotions.

"And, I'll keep Alice company," Edward said.

"Please, Edward," I said. "Bella misses you."

"That's a low blow," he glared.

"Maybe," I said. "But, it's true."

He shook his head, but I felt his determination wavering. One more push and I'd have him.

"She really wants you there, Edward," I said. _And what Bella wants…_

"You're shameless," he sighed. "But, effective. I'll be there."

"Thanks," I smiled. _Now, can you help me with Alice?_

"No," he smiled. "That's all you." he said, as he walked out of the room.

"Alice," I said. "Please turn around and look at me."

"Why?" she said, but didn't do as I asked.

I walked over to the window and stood behind her. "Alice?"

She turned around and stared at me. "Why do I need to be there? Especially that day?"

I scanned the date in my mind, trying to remember if it held some significance, but I couldn't come up with anything.

"I don't understand," I said. "What is the significance of that day?"

"You don't even know yet?" she whispered.

"Alice?" I said.

"Look, it doesn't matter, it was just a vision, and I know how you feel about those."

I nodded, still not willing to trust another of her visions. "I know this is hard," I said. "But, Bella has been through so much and she misses all of you, so will you please consider coming?"

"I'll think about it," she said.

"I know you've spoken to Bella on the phone and you've sent her packages with Rose, so why can't you come and visit her.

"I said I'd think about it," she said, as she turned and left the room.

And, that was how we left it. Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Emmett had come up the night before. It gave Bella a chance to have a girl's night, while the men went hunting. She had a really good time with them, but I knew she was hoping that Alice would come with Edward.

"Bella?" I called from the bottom of the staircase.

"She's getting dressed," Rose said.

"It never takes her this long," I said, glaring at Rosalie. "What did you do to her?"

"You'll like it," she smiled. "I promise."

"I liked her the way she was," I said.

Bella appeared at the top of the steps, but I could feel how insecure she felt as she made her way down. I turned to look at her and if my heart could beat, it would have stopped. She was an absolute vision. Her long brown hair was blown completely straight and almost hit her waist. She had on a thin layer of makeup, nothing over the top, but it seemed to enhance her natural beauty. And, then there was the sundress. I had never seen Bella reveal so much skin, unless we were alone. The dress had thin straps that crossed in the back, it was a pale yellow color that stopped mid-thigh, and I had to suppress a growl when I realized she wasn't wearing a bra.

"You look incredible," I said.

"Are you sure?" she asked, less than confident.

"Well, I'll admit that this particular dress might have been better suited for when we were alone, but you look beautiful."

"Thanks," she smiled. "Rosalie picked it out."

"Really?" I said, as I stared at Rose.

"I think it's perfect," Rose said. "She doesn't have to hide her assets. She is a grown woman, after all"

"Where did you get those boobs, Bella?" Emmett chimed in. "Did Rose pick those out too?"

"Emmett," I hissed, but Rose had already smacked him in the back of the head for me.

"Ouch," he shook his head. "That's the only thing that ever hurts me."

I took Bella's hand and led her to the foyer, stopping to kiss her and whispering, "As much as I like this dress, I can't wait to rip it off you."

"That's the reaction I was hoping for," she smiled. "But, I don't want you to rip it off me."

"No?" I said.

"No," she shook her head, and her desire for me spiked. "I want you to leave it on me."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said, as I kissed her.

"Alright, Dr. Lust," Emmett said. "I know you two missed your booty call last night, but now is not the time."

Carlisle and Esme walked into the room and smiled, obviously overhearing the conversation. I felt their amusement.

"Edward just pulled up," Esme said.

"Alice is with him," Rose said.

I felt Bella's excitement. "Sweetheart," I said. "I know you're anxious, but Alice might not be ready to pick up where you left off."

"She'll try," Carlisle said. "It'll work out."

Emmett had the door opened before Edward and Alice were even out of the car. Edward hadn't seen Bella in over a month, so I wondered how this little reunion would go. As soon as he walked through the door, he searched her out and locked eyes with her. For him, the rest of us weren't in the room. He gave her that crooked smile and she started toward him, but then suddenly stopped and looked at me.

She was confused, and I could tell she was trying not to cross a line, especially since the last time I saw them together, I ended up marking her. I nodded and smiled, so she proceeded to cross the room and embrace Edward.

"Hello, Bella," he said, as he hugged her. I could feel how much he missed her. The feelings he had for her were overwhelming, and unfortunately they mirrored mine. He wasn't over her; not by a long shot, but I also felt his acceptance over the situation.

He let go of her and smiled at me. I felt his gratitude.

_She still loves you, too._ I said for only him.

Alice stepped out from behind Emmett.

"Bella," Alice said, "Thank you for having us today."

"I'm glad you could be here," Bella smiled.

"Maybe if Edward would let go of Bella's hand," Emmett said. "You could hug too?"

Edward abruptly let go of her, but I felt his regret. Alice was apprehensive, but she managed to hug Bella. Carlisle and Esme were uneasy, Rose was frustrated and Emmett was, well, he was just Emmett.

_Oh, this was going to be a long afternoon. And, I would get to feel every single emotion._

We went out into the backyard and sat by the dock. It wasn't raining, but it was overcast, so we didn't sparkle. Bella and Edward sat by the lake and she told him all about our trip to Texas and how happy I was there. Edward politely asked if we were relocating, and I felt his fear over me taking her so far. She reassured him that we would only go back to Texas to visit.

I stood on the porch watching them. I wanted her to have her space. She occasionally looked up at me and smiled, and I could feel her love for me.

"You can't seem to keep your eyes off her," Alice said. "It's really cute."

"You're being sincere," I said.

"I can't deny what the two of you are to one another anymore," she said. "The love you have for each other just shoots off of you in beams."

"Thanks for coming today, Alice. It means so much to Bella," I said. "And, to me."

"I wanted to see her," she said.

"Go talk to her," I encouraged.

"I don't know what I'd say," she said.

"Tell her that you're okay with us," I said.

"That's the easy part, Jazz," she said. "What about what I did with the visions?"

"This is Bella," I said. "She understands why you did it, and she doesn't blame you for her breakdown. Neither do I."

"Thanks, Jazz," she said. "I appreciate that." I knew she wanted to ask me something else, but she hesitated.

"What is it, Alice?"

"Did you figure out what the significance of today is?"

"Yes," I smiled. "Bella doesn't know yet, though. It was hectic here this morning, and something like that should be done when we're alone."

"I agree," she smiled. "I'm happy for you."

"I know you are," I said. "And, that means a lot to me."

She started toward the dock. "Edward is monopolizing her," she said.

"Yes," I said. "Why don't you do something about that for me?"

"Not as secure as you seem?" she said.

"Now when it comes to her," I said.

"Trust me," she said, as she headed toward Bella. "You have nothing to worry about."

I continued to stare at Bella. She was amazingly beautiful and I really couldn't keep my eyes off her. As much as I didn't like how Rose had dressed her today, she really did look stunning. I couldn't wait to be alone with her. I had big plans for this evening, and as much as I loved my family, I couldn't wait for them to leave.

"Bella looks exceptionally radiant today," Carlisle said, pulling me from my thoughts. "She's doing remarkably well, too."

"I know," I smiled as she waved to me. "She needed today. She needed to see that Edward and Alice were okay with the two of us."

"I think you're right," Carlisle said. "She has to get past the guilt. I think that's the last thing standing in her way."

"Maybe if she and Alice could reconnect that might help," I said. "She's formed a nice relationship with Rosalie, and I think that's good for both of them."

"Yes," Carlisle said. "Rose looks forward to her visits with Bella."

"I know that Rose is worried that now that Bella is healing, she won't need her as much," I said. "But, that's not true. Bella loves her just as much as she loves Alice and Esme, so I hope that she stays a constant in her life, especially when I turn her."

"Yes," Carlisle said. "About that."

I felt his apprehension over the subject.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I spoke with Aro this morning," he said. "I updated them on Bella's progress."

"And?" I asked.

"Aro doesn't want her turned," he said.

"What?" I said, and I could feel Edward and Emmett staring at me. I knew everyone but Bella could hear this conversation.

"Jasper," he said. "He wants to make sure she's stable enough."

Edward walked over to join us. "How is he going to make sure of that?"

"He's sending someone to observe her," Carlisle said.

"No," I said. "I don't want them near her."

"She's afraid of them," Edward said. "That could set her back."

"Calm down," Carlisle said. "They'll observe from afar. Bella won't even know that they're here."

"But we will," Edward said.

"I don't understand," I said. "How does that help?"

"I can hear your thoughts," he said. "You're worried about them being near her."

"Of course," I said. "It's not like it was with Peter and Char. I could trust that they wouldn't hurt her."

"I see your point, Edward," Carlisle said. "We'll just come here and help watch over Bella, while the Volturi is observing her."

"So," I said. "You'll all come up and Bella will think you're just visiting?"

"Yes," Carlisle said. "She doesn't need to know she's being watched until after it's over. It's better that she not know that they're here. We want her to be as natural as possible. I'm confident that they'll see that she is just fine."

"It's crazy," Edward said. "The last time we saw Aro, he was adamant that we turn Bella, and now he won't allow us to."

"He is very unpredictable and I think that he is wary because first Bella was with you, and now she's with Jasper," he said.

"That's not his concern," I said.

"Maybe not," Carlisle said. "But, I'll have to agree with Aro for now. Bella will not be turned until Aro approves. We don't need the Volturi coming after us. Trust me."

I nodded because I knew he was right. Aro and his vampires were certainly enemies we didn't need. Bella had already been through enough. If we needed to wait, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Besides, Bella would have other things to keep her occupied.

The day was a success. Bella was beaming from ear to ear by the time everyone left, and she made them all promise that we would do this at least once a month. She wanted them as her family, and I knew that they wanted her just as much. I closed the door behind them and turned to find her standing at the bottom of the staircase, swaying back and forth. Her emotions were so positive; she was happy, content, and satisfied.

I walked to her and scooped her up in my arms. She giggled and buried her head in my neck.

"Happy, beautiful girl?"

"Very," she said. "Thank you for making this day happen. I had a great time."

"I'm glad," I said. "But, it's not over yet."

"Are we going to bed?" she smiled.

"Not yet, darlin'," I said, as I carried her up the steps and into our bedroom. "I have something for you."

"Jasper," she said. "You've already given me so much. I don't need anything else."

"Indulge me," I said, as I set her down on the window seat overlooking the lake. I knelt down in front of her and tilted her chin, so that she could look into my eyes.

She brushed the curls from my forehead. "Your eyes are magnificent when you hunt. They're the most beautiful shade of amber, mixed with shards of gold. You're spectacular."

I moved my hand to her face and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. "You're so beautiful," I whispered. "I had a really hard time keeping my eyes and hands off of you."

"I missed you today," she said, as she twirled my hair around her fingers.

"I was here all day," I said.

"Yes," she said. "But, you kept your distance so that I could spend the day with Edward. That was very nice of you."

"He missed you," I said.

"And, I missed you," she smiled. "I had a wonderful day, but now I'm glad it's just the two of us." She leaned down and slowly kissed my lips. I felt her desire for me, and I knew exactly what she wanted. I wanted the same thing, but not yet.

She took my hand and placed it on her thigh, as she slowly spread her legs for me. I rubbed her inner thigh as we kissed for a few minutes, but then I broke away from her lips. I immediately felt her disappointment.

"Don't worry," I smiled. "We'll get to that."

"Now?"

"In a bit," I said. "I promise. " I took her hand in mine and gently squeezed it. I was nervous and if I could, I would be sweating. I knew this was just a formality, but still, I wanted to do it right.

"Jasper," she said. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I said. "I couldn't be happier. Well, that's not true."

"Oh," she said. "Is there something I can do to make you happier?"

I nodded as I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little pale blue box. I held it in my free hand.

"Bella," I said. "I know we talked about this already, but I wanted to do this properly."

"Jasper," she whispered, as she covered her mouth. I felt how surprised she was.

"Isabella Marie Swan," I smiled. "You are the only thing in my life that matters. I've roamed this world a long time, but I lacked purpose. You've given me purpose, Bella. You've given me a reason to exist. Will you please marry me?"

She dropped down on her knees to face me. "I would be honored to become your wife. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank God for you every day. Yes, Jasper, I want to marry you and spend the rest of my existence with you."

I took her hand in mine and slowly slipped the ring on her finger. She started to cry, but I knew they were happy tears. "Jasper," she said, as she looked down at the ring. "This is fabulous. You picked this out?"

"Of course I did," I said. "If you want something else, we'll go tomorrow."

"No," she cried. "I've never seen anything so perfect."

"I have," I smiled, as I took her face in my hands and gently kissed her lips. "I'll spend the rest of my existence making you happy. You're the only thing I'll ever need."

"I love you," she said, as she ran her hands across my shoulders and down to the buttons of my shirt. "Make love to me." She pressed her lips to mine, as she freed me from my shirt and then reached for my belt buckle.

"Eager?" I smiled.

"Why aren't you taking my clothes off?" she asked, as she undid my pants and pushed them over my hips.

I slid her dress up over her waist and ripped her panties from her body.

She gasped at my speed. "I think I remember you asking me to leave this dress on?" I lowered my mouth to her neck and began kissing and sucking my way down to her breasts. I gripped her ribcage and pulled her closer to me, and then I pulled my own pants off. I sat down and moved her into my lap, she straddled me and I couldn't hold back the growl when her warm, wet center grazed my cock.

"Jasper," she moaned. "I need to feel you inside of me."

I reached down and grabbed the base of my shaft, slightly arching my hips so that I could angle my body to insert myself inside her.

"We'll always be connected, Bella," I said.

"Always," she whispered, as she took my face in her hands and kissed me. Just as she pushed her tongue in my mouth, I thrust deep inside her. "Ah…just like that," she moaned, as she started to rock against me.

I slid my hands up to cup her breasts, as we continued to forcefully kiss. I couldn't get close enough to her, and I could feel her need for me overtaking every other emotion she had. I slowed our pace, wanting to make this moment last as long as I could. We ceased all movement for a few seconds, and just gazed into one another's eyes. I could feel how much she loved me, and I wanted her to know that I felt just as strongly about her, so I projected onto her.

She smiled, "I feel that."

I smiled because I knew she was starting to tell when I was manipulating her emotions, and when I was showing her how I felt. She was learning everything about me, and it all came so naturally.

She started up again, so I sat back on my forearms and watched as she brought herself to the brink. She squeezed her eyes shut and I felt her climax building. I moved back to her neck and trailed kisses up to her lips.

"I love you," I whispered, as she exploded around me. She screamed my name over and over, until her body stopped convulsing around me. I grabbed her hair and buried my face in her shoulder as I released. My orgasm shot through my body and caused me to shudder against her. It was so forceful that I had to suppress the urge to bite down on her shoulder. I let go of her hair and pulled her body as close to me as physically possible. I held her for a few minutes, before releasing her and placing her on the floor. I immediately missed the contact and knew we'd be doing that again very soon.

"Jasper," she said. "How does that get more intense every time?"

"You're coming into your own, darlin'," I smiled. "Your body knows exactly what it wants."

"It wants you," she said, as she crawled on top of me and rested her head on my chest.

"I can't blame your body," I laughed. "I'm hot."

"And conceited," she laughed.

I rubbed her back, and I could feel how comfortable she was. "I'm thrilled you're so happy, Bella."

"As long as we're together, I'll always be happy. When can we get married?"

"Whenever you're ready." I said.

"Charlie," she said, and I felt her panic.

"It's okay," I said. "I've asked his permission for your hand."

She popped up and looked at me. I felt her shock. "You did? When?"

"Last week, when I went to see Edward and Alice."

"How did he take the news?"

"Well, I wanted to take Carlisle and have him dazzle him for me, but I figured that wasn't the best way to go, so I turned on the southern charm," I smiled.

"You manipulated him?"

"Initially, yes," I admitted. "I didn't want him having a heart attack without Carlisle around."

"Oh, God," she said.

"Once I got him to understand how much you meant to me and that I could care and provide for you, he was good. I had to lie and tell him that my birth parents left me and Rosalie a sizeable inheritance, and that Carlisle invested it through the years and now I'm independently wealthy. I told him I'd make sure you finished your education. He was worried because we're so young."

She laughed.

"Well, you're so young, but he thinks I'm only twenty."

"So, he was really okay with this?"

"He wants you to be happy, and he knows that I can do that for you," I said. "I hope you'll let me."

"Of course," she smiled, but I felt a bit of worry come over her.

"What is it?"

"You do so much for me," she said. "And, I don't have anything to give you in return."

"That's not true," I said. "I already told you that you give me a purpose, that's something I've never had."

"I want to give you something," she said.

"It's not necessary," I said.

"I came up with an idea when we were exploring your past," she said, and I felt her excitement. "Remember the museum with the Civil War wedding display?"

"I do," I said. "What about it?"

"I want you to have an 1861 wedding," she smiled, and then bit her lip. "You should have a wedding from your era."

"You don't have to do that, Bella,' I said. "This is your day, too."

"I want to, Jasper," she said. "I want to be the bride that you always envisioned. I saw the look in your eyes when we were researching your past. You missed out on that part of your life. I can be that girl."

"You've always been that girl," I said. "I know that's why I found you. I was waiting for you."

"Can we do this?"

"Whatever you want," I said, as I gently kissed her lips.

"Do you think Rose and Esme will help me?"

"Yes, but you'll also want someone who is as old as me to help," I reminded her.

"Char?" Her eyes lit up. "She'd be perfect."

"And, I know Alice would like to help."

"I don't want to hurt her feelings," she said.

"You won't," I said, and I was certain that Alice had a reason for never marrying me. She knew she wasn't supposed to.

"I'm very excited!" she squealed. "Let's go get the laptop and research this."

"Now?" I asked.

"Did you have something else in mind?" She arched her eyebrow at me.

"I did," I said, as I pulled her closer to my lips. "But, this time I'm taking the dress off."

"Hurry up," she giggled against my lips.

*****And they lived happily ever after, just like I promised! Lol**

*****I had always intended them to have a Civil War era style wedding, but I was going to leave it up to our imaginations, but then Scoobylady suggested in her last review that I should write their wedding. So, I'll include the wedding in the epilogue. Just give me a few weeks to research it and write it. **

*****Thanks again for taking yet another J/B ride with me.**


	23. Chapter 23 Epilogue

*****Thanks to all of you who followed me on this story. It's hard to believe once upon a time this was a little o/s. I'll see you at the bottom…**

**BPOV**

I brought the cream colored rose that Jasper had left for me on my pillow this morning to my nose and inhaled the floral scent. When I woke up this morning, I saw the rose next to my face along with his note.

_Bella,_

_I slipped in here early this morning and held you in my arms. You were so calm and serene that I didn't have the heart to wake you, so I just pulled you close to me and watched you. But, now the sun is coming up and I'm afraid that Rosalie will kill me if she catches me in your bed this morning. In just a few short hours you'll be my wife. I still can't believe that you're mine. Try to stay calm this morning, but I'm just down the hall if you need me._

_Love,_

_Jasper _

I couldn't believe this day had finally come. In a matter of minutes, I would be Mrs. Jasper Whitlock. It didn't seem real. It took my breath away every time I thought about it. Jasper proposed to me in August, only two short months ago and now we were getting married. The quick turnover was all in thanks to four very special women, and it didn't hurt that they were four very determined vampires who knew what they wanted and how to get things done. Esme, Rose, Alice and Char researched every aspect of this wedding, and made it all come together. Plus, it didn't hurt that Jasper and Carlisle paid for every detail, and believe me no expense was spared.

We were having an intimate ceremony. All of the Cullen's, Peter, Char, Charlie, Renee and Phil would all be there. I also wanted Jake and Ava to attend and Billy as well, and Carlisle invited the Denali Coven. Those were all of the people we would need. It would be small and Jasper and I would get to pledge our eternal love in front of our family and friends. We had to be careful with the wording of the vows since Charlie, Renee and Phil weren't privy to the true meaning of eternity.

Esme had found a small estate just outside of Seattle that was transformed into a Texas plantation about twenty-five years ago by a Civil War buff who had too much time and money on his hands. According to Jasper and Peter, it was an exact reproduction of what might have been seen during that time. I could tell that Jasper fell in love with the property upon first sight. The ceremony and reception would take place here.

I was now sitting in one of the upstairs bedrooms of the plantation, waiting for the ceremony to start. The morning had been a whirlwind of preparations; all of which centered on me. I was primped, waxed, polished, made up and dressed. When I looked in the mirror, I hardly recognized the girl staring back at me. For the first time in my life, I felt beautiful. I felt worthy enough to be Jasper's. I know he thought I was perfect, but I wanted to be so much more for him.

My hair was pulled away from my face and piled neatly on the top of my head in perfect ringlet curls. My ivory dress was an exact replica of a dress that a bride from Texas would have worn in 1861. Alice commissioned a dress maker who specialized in Civil War Era weddings. Everything about it was authentic; right down to the material. The dressmaker didn't even use zippers or elastic, since they weren't available in that time period. I felt like Scarlett O'Hara, but with a modern day princess flair. Alice did a fantastic job of keeping with the theme of the day, but making sure my jewelry, make-up and hair reflected who I was. Charlotte said that Jasper wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me through the entire ceremony.

I hadn't seen Jasper since late yesterday afternoon. He and the rest of the men went out for some guy time. Jasper assured me that they were going hunting and hanging out at a small cottage about a mile from the plantation. They were going to play cards and talk dirty. He said it was the best they could do, since they couldn't drink beer or smoke cigars.

I thought back to yesterday, just before he left…

"_Don't be sad, darlin'," he said. "I'll be back in less than twenty-four hours."_

"_I'm not sad that you're going," I smiled. "I'm just sad because I'll miss you."_

"_I'll call you every hour," he said, as he kissed my lips. "Will that help?"_

"_You don't have to do that," I said. "Besides, Emmett would make fun of you."_

"_Hmm, maybe I should text you instead?" he laughed, and that made my stomach flip. He was so beautiful._

"_You're so perfect, Jasper," I said. "How did I get so lucky?"_

"_I ask myself that same question every day," he said, as he pulled me into an embrace. "You're everything to me, and I'll spend the rest of my existence showing you just how much you mean to me."_

_He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me slowly and passionately. This would be the last time he would kiss Bella Swan. Tomorrow I would be his wife, and I would spend the rest of my existence showing him just how much he meant to me._

I was pulled from my thoughts by the knocking at the door.

"Bella?" Charlie called. "Can I come in?"

"Yes," I said, as I turned to face the door.

He opened the door and just stared. His eyes started to fill with tears, but then he cleared his throat and smiled.

"Wow," he said. "You look amazing. Jasper is one lucky man."

"I'm pretty lucky too," I said. "Thanks for being here and supporting me today. I know you think I'm too young."

"I'll always think you're too young, Bells," he said. "That's just what dads do." He walked over to me and took my hand. "I'm very happy for you. I know Jasper loves you very much, and I'm confident that he'll take care of you and love you forever."

"You have no idea," I smiled. "Dad, I love you."

"I love you too," he said, as he kissed my cheek.

"Is it almost time?"

"Yes," he said. "They sent me up here to get you. Did you get to see your mom?"

"Yes," I said. "She was actually quite happy for me. I was surprised."

"She can see how much you love him, and how much he loves you," he said. "Bella, I'm usually not too observant to those kinds of things, but when you are in the same room with Jasper, it's as if I can feel how much he loves you. I've never seen anything like it. I couldn't support this marriage if I wasn't completely sure, but I have no doubts."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "Your blessing means everything to me."

"Good," he smiled, and I could tell he was uncomfortable with the mushy stuff. "Well, your groom is downstairs in his Confederate finest waiting for you."

"Let's go," I said. "I can't wait to see him."

"When did you become such a Civil War buff?"

"Um, well Jasper's really into it, and it was kind of contagious," I said, as I pulled him to the door. "Come on! I want to get married."

I wasn't nervous, just anxious. And, now that I knew Jasper was downstairs waiting for me, I had to get to him. Charlie led me down the long hallway and to the staircase, where Rosalie was waiting for me. She and Emmett were standing for me and Jasper, and Peter was officiating. As soon as I got to the top of the staircase, I could smell the flowers. As I peeked down the steps, I saw thousands of roses and tulips everywhere.

"Alice really outdid herself, didn't she?" I whispered.

"You have no idea," Rose said. "It looks great."

"I gave her full reign, but she wouldn't tell me anything."

I heard the piano, and looked at Rose. I wasn't aware that we had hired a professional musician.

"He insisted," she said. "He wanted to do it for you."

"Edward?" I asked, and I felt a lump in my throat.

"Don't start crying, Bella," she said. "Let's get you down the steps and to Jasper."

I nodded, but I was so touched by what Edward was doing for me and Jasper. I knew I had to let him know, so as we walked down the steps and passed the piano, I spoke only for him.

_Thank you, Edward; I owe this day to you. If you didn't release me, I couldn't have fully committed to Jasper. I'm always going to love you._

He looked up from the keys and smiled at me. I could see the love in his eyes. The fact that he could still read my thoughts had its advantages.

As soon as we entered the intimate living room, our eyes met. I felt a strong burst of love and knew exactly where it was coming from. I looked up at my groom and smiled. He was absolutely perfect, standing there in his Major's uniform. Not a hair out of place, looking like the confident, strong, handsome soldier I knew he once was. My heart swelled with love, and judging from the look on his face, he liked what he saw. He flashed that amazingly beautiful smile at me as I walked toward him. He didn't take his golden eyes off me as I made my way to him. I was full of nervous energy and anticipation, because I knew in a matter of minutes he was going to be my husband.

**JPOV**

She was simply breathtaking. I knew she would be, but this was more than I had ever imagined. It was as if I was transcended back to 1861. Peter and I had been reminiscing all day. The estate was so authentic, and Alice had done a fantastic job with every detail of the wedding. It was as if I had stepped back in time, back to my human life. There were so many details that I had forgotten after my change and as the years went by, many of my human memories faded, but seeing all of this today brought it all back. The only thing that would have been missing back then that I had today was Bella. She was the epitome of Southern grace and style. She looked as if she was meant to be a Civil War bride. She was the perfect complement to my Confederate soldier. We simply belonged together.

She walked to me and I could feel how excited she was. She had been bouncing with anticipation all week, and our day had finally arrived. I had to fight the urge to meet her half way down the aisle.

Peter leaned in and whispered, "She looks like she could have lived back then with us. She's stunning, Jasper."

I nodded, never taking my eyes off her. She was almost to me, and it was a good thing because I was mere seconds from pulling her to me and kissing her. Charlie approached me first and placed Bella's hand in mine. I could feel how proud he was of his daughter, and as he released her to me, I felt his confidence. He knew I would fulfill my promise and take care of her.

"You look beautiful," I whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, "she smiled.

"The dress, your hair, you, it's all so perfect," I said, as I gently squeezed her hand.

"You looked exactly like I dreamed you would," she said.

In that moment, it was as if Bella and I were the only two in the room, but just as I was about to lean in and kiss her, I was reminded that we weren't alone. Peter cleared his throat and everyone started to laugh. Bella blushed.

"If it's okay with you," Peter said. "I'd like to start."

"Fine," I smiled at Bella. "I'm ready to get married."

Peter kept the ceremony simple and short. Bella and I decided to write our own vows, and then exchange rings. Bella went first, and I could feel how nervous she was to speak in front of all of our friends. I sent her a quick burst of confidence, and that seemed to help. She turned to face me, taking my hands in hers and smiled.

"Jasper," she said. "There just aren't enough words to describe how I feel about you, but with you, I know I don't always need words. You just feel and you get it. You are such an amazing man and I feel so blessed to have found you. I know we didn't come together in the best possible way, we made mistakes and hit a few bumps in the road, but all of that has made us stronger. When I'm with you, I'm safe and secure. You've given my life meaning and I'll spend the rest of my days showing you just how much I love you."

"Bella," I said. "I've spent so many years searching for a reason to be. My life hasn't been easy and I've done things that I'm not particularly proud of, but you have never judged me. You've embraced my past and you love me in spite of it. I never feel ashamed of who I am when I'm with you. I'm honored to be standing here today in front of you, our family and friends, pledging my eternal love. I want everyone who matters to us to know exactly how much you mean to me. You've been what has been missing for so long, and now to be able to call you my wife will make me happier than any man has ever been. Thank you for wanting to spend forever with me."

There was so much more I needed to tell her, but I knew that with her parents in the room, my past and who I was probably wouldn't make for the best wedding vows, but I also wanted to tell her that I looked forward to the day that I would make her mine forever. I would give her eternal life, so that we truly could spend eternity together. I knew I could tell her in private, but for now what I said would have to be enough.

We exchanged rings and then finally Peter spoke the only words I wanted to hear.

"Jasper," Peter said. "You may now kiss your bride."

_With pleasure…_

I gently pulled Bella toward me and leaned down, slowly placing my lips against hers. I stayed still for the briefest of seconds, wanting to memorize this exact moment. She was now Bella Whitlock and she would remain so for all of eternity. I deepened the kiss, and I could feel how happy she was. I didn't want to let her go, but after a minute, I could feel Bella's usual response to my kiss wash over me, and I knew we had to stop before I started projecting inappropriate emotions throughout the room. I didn't need our wedding ceremony turning into one big orgy.

I removed my lips from her mouth and pressed my forehead to hers. "Later, darlin'," I smiled, and she nodded. I heard the collective snickers from all of the vampires with sensitive hearing.

Once the ceremony was over, we moved to the large dining room where Esme had the whole reception catered, keeping with the Civil War theme. The Cullen and Denali Covens along with Peter and Char had to pretend to eat, but the others seemed to really enjoy the authentic Texas style food. Southern boy or not, none of it appealed to me and judging by the look on the other vampires faces, they didn't seem impressed by it either. Bella moved around the room, greeting everyone and thanking them for coming. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She captivated me.

"You are going to let her up for air tonight," Peter smirked. "Aren't you? She's not one of us yet."

"You'd be surprised how well she keeps up," I smiled.

"Jasper and the human," he laughed. "Who would ever have thought that?"

"Certainly not me," I admitted. "But, Bella changed everything for me."

"When are you bringing her back to Texas? Char can't wait to use the kitchen again, and she loves Bella."

"Bella loves her too,"' I said. "She was so helpful with the wedding plans. We'll visit in a few weeks." Bella and I were staying here on the plantation for a few nights, and then we were headed to Paris. I had been there a few times, but Bella had never seen it, and I knew of a perfect hotel right in the heart of things that I thought she'd really enjoy. On the way back, we could fly to Texas and stay with Peter and Char, and then we'd be back in Forks just in time for the holidays. I knew Esme and Carlisle wanted us to spend Christmas in Forks. When they brought it up last night, Bella's eyes lit up and I could feel her excitement. So, really there was no way that I could say no.

Bella came over and took my hand in hers. "I've missed you," she smiled, and kissed my cheek.

"You're very popular, Mrs. Whitlock," I said, liking the way that sounded.

Bella's infectious smiled proved that she liked her new name too. "Everyone is starting to leave now," she said, and I felt her disappointment that the day was over.

"That just means we can move on to the wedding night," I said, as I bit her bottom lip. "As beautiful as you look, I can't wait to get this dress off you."

"I want to take this uniform off you," she said, and I could feel how aroused she was becoming. "Will you let me do that, Major Whitlock?"

"I think we can work something out," I said. "Let's get these people out of here."

After Bella said goodbye to our guests, Alice and Rose took her upstairs and helped her out of her dress. Rose said that they had something more appropriate for Bella to wear on our wedding night, but I promised Bella I would keep my uniform on.

Rose and Alice were back downstairs and out the door in record time and for that I was extremely grateful. I promised them we would call during our trip and as soon as we returned, we would visit. I ran up the steps at vampire speed and into the master suite. I looked around the room and smiled. I couldn't wait to give Bella her wedding gift.

I slipped off my shoes and socks, and walked over to the closed door. I could hear her moving around in there, trying to prepare for our evening.

"Bella," I said, as I knocked on the bathroom door.

She slowly opened the door and stepped out. She was wearing a long, flowing, sheer white nightgown. I could see every curve and swell of her body, and I couldn't wait to put my hands and mouth all over her.

"You like?" she said, as she turned in a circle, shaking her little rear before turning back to face me.

I pulled her to me and started to ravish her neck with kisses and nibbles. "I absolutely like," I said against her neck. I reached up and started pulling pins out of her hair, letting her long curled locks flow down her back and over her shoulders. I wanted to get tangled in her hair and lost in her luscious scent when we made love.

Bella leaned in and slowly started to kiss me, as she reached for the buttons on my jacket. "I've been thinking about undressing you all day," she smiled against my mouth. I reached down and slipped my hands under her gown, slowly sliding my hands up her thighs, over her hips and stomach, until I finally reached her breasts.

She managed to get my jacket off, but now she was fumbling with the buttons of my shirt. I could tell that my touches were driving her crazy. I gently traced over her nipples with my fingertips, and she let out a small moan.

"Jasper," she said. "You're distracting me."

"You'll have to focus, darlin'," I smiled. "I can't be expected to keep my hands or lips off you any longer." I moved her hands down to my belt buckle, as I took my shirt and t-shirt off. She lowered her mouth to my chest and began placing soft, hot kisses down my stomach, as she undid my pants. Once they hit my ankles, I quickly stepped out of them. I let out a growl when her hand swiped over my erection, on her way to pulling down my boxers.

I moved us over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and pulling her in between my legs. I slid her nightgown up over her hips and grabbed either side of her panties, slowly sliding them down her legs. She gripped my shoulders for support and stepped out of them.

I lifted her onto my lap, feeling her moist heated core graze against my impossibly hard erection. I tangled one hand in her hair as I pressed my lips against hers, while I lowered my other hand down to the base of my shaft, slowly inserting it inside of her. Her eyes rolled back as she threw her head back. I could feel the pleasure she was experiencing. I continued to make love to her slowly and tenderly. There was no need to rush this moment. I moved her onto her back and supported my weight on my forearms, so that I could watch her. Occasionally I glanced down to watch as I slid in and out of her. I could feel her climax building, as my own abdomen started tightening.

"Look at me, Bella," I whispered.

She did as I asked, and stared deep into my eyes. We didn't remove our gaze from one another as we both let go. I dropped down and lazily kissed her cheeks, nose, jaw and neck, before slipping out of her and rolling off her. I pulled her into me.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," she whispered, as she tangled my curls between her fingers. She often played with my hair after we made love, and it relaxed me so effectively, that I swore I felt like falling asleep. We lay there for a few minutes, her running her fingers through my hair and I just listening to her breathe.

"It's so peaceful here," she said. "Does it remind you of your human life?"

"It does," I said. "It brought back many memories that I had long forgotten."

"Will you share them with me before we leave?" she asked. "So that I can experience them with you?"

"Do you like it here?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "Do you think the owner will let us come back and stay here again?"

"I'm pretty certain that she will," I smiled.

"She? I thought it was a man who restored this place."

"He was the owner until last week," I said. "Now this place belongs to you. I bought it for you as a wedding present."

"What?" I felt her excitement. "Jasper, this place is beautiful. It's ours?"

"If you want it," I said. "It's not far from the city, so we can still attend the university in January and we can visit Forks as often as you would like."

"Of course I want it," she said, as she hugged me. "It's like having a part of your past."

"Thank you for wanting to share that with me," I said. "It means more than you know."

"This house and our wedding was perfect. Do you know that I fell in love with you the night you shared your history with me?"

"I remember telling you my history and not being able to focus on anything other than you. That's how I ended up climbing through your window that night."

"You've given me so much in that short time. I wish I had something significant to give to you."

"Bella," I said. "You've given me you. I could never compete with that."

"Jasper," she sighed. "I've been thinking."

"What is it?"

"I don't want you to be upset with me," I felt her anxiety.

"Bella," I said, as I looked down into her eyes. "You can tell me anything."

"I don't think I'm ready to be turned," she said. "Not yet."

"I would never pressure you into something like that. I want you either way. It makes no difference to me."

"I want you to turn me," she said. "But not yet. I'm still young, and I think a few years won't matter. I want to go to college and I'm not ready to leave Charlie. Is that okay?"

I hugged her close to me. "It's more than okay. Bella, that was a very rational decision you made. Do you know what that means?"

"I'm not crazy anymore," she laughed, and I felt how amused she was.

"You were never crazy, but I think you are finally healing." There was no doubt in my mind that Aro wouldn't let her become one of us now. "We can wait as long as you want."

"Not too long," she smiled. "I don't want to get too old for you."

"You're never going to be able to catch up to me," I said. "Besides, an older woman might be kind of hot."

"Really?" she smiled, and I felt her desire spike.

"You can't be ready again," I said.

"I'm always ready for you, Major Whitlock," she said, as she climbed on top of me.

"Darlin'," I said, as I gripped her hips. "I don't think I'm going to be able to handle you when you become a vampire."

"I can't wait to find out," she said, as she lowered her lips to mine. "But for now, human Bella will have to do."

"She does just fine," I said, as I rolled her over, reversing our positions. "I love you and I always will."

"I love you too," she sighed. "Now make love to me."

"With pleasure," I said, as I crushed my mouth against hers.

*****God, I want this Jasper! So, thanks for sticking out another J/B journey with me. I can't believe I took this story from a o/s and turned it into this. You guys rock and I love your support! All of your reviews, PM's and alerts keep me going.**

*****Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and TwiCarol for always being there for me and making my stories sparkle. I could not keep up this writing pace without the two of you, and you do way more than beta for me!**

*****Yes, eventually I will write the outtake of Jasper turning Bella.**

*****See you in the next story!**


	24. Changing Bella Outtake

**A Reason To Exist Outtake – Changing Bella**

*****I know this was a long time in the making, but I couldn't post until now. I've done several "turn" scenes with my various stories, so I needed to come up with something different while keeping true to this particular story. I hope you like it.**

*****Written for Spencer Bell Legacy** **– a truly wonderful cause.**

*****Thanks to TwiCarol and Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for beta reading this.**

**JPOV**

As I watched her burn and writhe in pain for the past two and half days, my heart broke for her. Hadn't we put her through enough pain and misery over that past couple of years? I held her tight against my chest and tried to absorb as much of the pain as I could.

Edward was sitting in the chair across from the bed and hadn't said anything for the past hour. I could feel how much he hated experiencing Bella's pain, too. The change was almost finished, or at least that was what Carlisle had said the last time he checked on Bella. I knew she wanted to become one of us, but I didn't think it would happen as quickly as it did. The decision was swift and final.

"_Aro called," Carlisle said, as I walked into his study. Edward was already in there, gazing out the window when I came in. I could tell by his emotions that something was wrong. Bella and I had recently come back to Forks to visit the family; something we did quite often. We had been married for two years and enjoyed the life we had made in Seattle. Bella attended the university there, while I completed my doctorate._

"_Are they coming to observe Bella again?" I asked. "Wasn't three visits enough?" The Volturi didn't think Bella was stable enough to be turned the first two times they observed her. Aro felt it was too soon after her breakdown and traumatic kidnapping to turn her. Initially, I had agreed, but after monitoring her for the past two years, I could feel it; she was ready._

"_Jasper," Carlisle smiled, but I could feel his apprehension. "They've given you the go ahead. You can turn her."_

"_That's great news," I said. "But, why don't the two of you seem happy?" I could feel something wasn't right. "Bella wants this and now we can start preparing her. She can start to make peace with giving up her human life. Now we can set a date."_

"_They're giving you a deadline," Carlisle informed me._

"_What? No! How long?" _

"_Three days," Edward finally spoke. I felt his disgust. He still didn't want to risk her soul by making her one of us. Plus, he thought that if he could still read her mind, she still wasn't back to her old self._

"_Look, I know your feelings on the whole thing, but this is what she wants and I'm going to give it to her. I just don't like the Volturi ultimatum. She has three days to reconcile her human life?"_

"_No," Carlisle sighed. "I'm afraid not. When they said three days, they meant the entire process."_

"_What? That means I have to do it tonight? That's not possible."_

"_Felix, Demetri, Jane and Alec are here in Forks," Edward stated._

"_To make sure I do it?"_

_Edward nodded._

"_But why? They've trusted us this far." I said._

"_It's always been on Aro's terms," Carlisle said. "But, now he is determined that it needs to be done. He feels that because we waited and kept her human and in our world, we caused her breakdown. We put her at risk when we allowed Victoria to take her."_

"_He's right," Edward said. "This is why I left her in the first place."_

"_Don't start," I warned. "We have a bigger issue. I'll have to turn her here and I have to hope she's ready. It's one thing for her to say she wants it, but when push actually comes to shove."_

"_The Volturi is forcing our hand," Carlisle reminded me. "If you want to be the one to do it, you have to get her to agree."_

"_You don't actually think that Aro will order one of the others to do it?" He didn't say anything but, judging from his negative emotions, Aro must have threatened that one of the guard would step in and change Bella._

"_I would die before I let that happen," I growled._

"_No one has to die," Carlisle assured me._

"_Bella does," Edward reminded us._

"_Edward," I said. "This is hard enough as it is, if I have to do this here in this house and you want to stay while the change takes place, you better get your shit together. She's always wanted to be one of us."_

"_You can't throw me out of my own house." He looked to Carlisle for assistance._

"_We're not throwing you out," Carlisle sighed. "But, I agree with Jasper, don't make this harder than it has to be on Bella."_

"_Fine," he said. "But I want to listen to her thoughts when you tell her. I can make sure this is absolutely what she wants."_

"_I can feel it's what she wants," I reminded him._

"_But, you can't hear how she truly feels," he countered._

"_It's not a bad idea," Carlisle said. "Maybe we can persuade Aro to give us more time if Edward hears that she's not ready."_

"_Fine," I said. "I'll be right back with her."_

_I walked down the hall and found Bella sitting on the bed, reading a magazine._

"_Hey." She smiled, and I felt how happy she was to see me._

"_Can you come to Carlisle's study with me?" I asked._

"_Sure," she said. "Is everything okay?"_

"_It will be." I smiled, as I took her hand. We walked into the study where Edward and Carlisle were waiting for us. I immediately felt Bella's curiosity._

"_What's wrong?" she asked, as she looked at me. "Is it Charlie?"_

"_No, darlin'," I assured her. "Your father is just fine."_

"_So, what's the problem?" she demanded. "Why do the three of you look so gloomy?"_

"_Bella," Carlisle said. "I heard from Aro today. He's approved your change."_

"_Really? That's great news!" She smiled at me. "This is what we've been waiting for. I can be yours forever."_

"_And, that's still what you want?" I asked._

"_Can't you feel it's what I want?" she inquired._

"_I can, but Edward seems to think that your thoughts don't match your emotions," I said. _

_She turned and looked at him. "Edward, why are you so against this?"_

"_I'm not, love, but I just want you to be sure," he said, but then he stopped and I knew he was listening to her thoughts._

"_And, you're really sure?" he asked._

"_Yes," she told him. "You know I am."_

"_I can feel that, Bella," I said. _

"_I'm ready today." She smiled, and I felt relieved._

_Edward's head snapped in her direction and I felt his shock._

"_What is it?" I asked._

_Bella smiled and said, "Sometimes I wish that you couldn't read my mind."_

"_What is it, Bella?" I said. "If you changed your mind, I'll find a way to escape the Volturi."_

"_She wants this," Edward told me. "She wants to belong to you for all of eternity, but she has a request and doesn't want to hurt your feelings."_

"_Edward," Bella interrupted. "Let me tell him."_

"_What is it? You know I would do anything for you," I reminded her._

"_I want Edward to be with us when you do it," she said. "He led me to you. He let me go and stayed my friend, even when we betrayed him. I'm in your world because he brought me here."_

"_And, you think it's only natural that he's there with you?" I said, knowing it made sense, but I didn't love the idea. "You're giving up so much for me, of course I'll grant you any request you want."_

So, here I was, sitting in my old bedroom, absorbing as much of Bella's pain as I possibly could, while Edward held her hand and monitored her thoughts.

She continued to thrash and moan out in pain.

"What is she thinking?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know.

"That she wants this more than anything, but it hurts like hell. She knows we're both here and she appreciates that you're trying to take as much pain from her as you can, but she wants you to stop. You've done enough. She wants to tell you but, every time she opens her mouth, all she can do is scream."

"Bella," I whispered. "You don't have to talk. Just focus on getting through this and we'll both be here when you wake up."

I felt her starting to settle down.

"It's almost over," Edward observed. "Her thoughts are less frantic now."

"I can feel that," I said. "I guess it's a good sign that she can remember us."

"Her mind is wired differently," he said. "It's almost as if she was mentally prepared for this."

"She had over two years to process it," I said. "Maybe it really is her destiny."

"I still have a hard time believing that," he said. "But, I know she loves you. Her thoughts are so happy and honest when she thinks of you. I've never heard someone else's thoughts as intense about another, as hers are for you."

"I know that's not easy for you," I said. "So, thank you for telling me that."

"I can't deny what you mean to her," he said.

"You also mean a great deal to her," I said. "I can feel how much she loves you. That's why I've never fought your friendship. She needs you just as much as she needs me. Just in a different way."

"I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have her in my life," he said. "I still love her as much as I did before, but being in her head and knowing that it's you she wants, makes it easier for me."

"I'm sorry that you have to hear all of that," I said. "If the situation was reversed and I had to feel how much she wanted you, I don't think I could be around her."

"You would, Jasper," he said. "You would do anything to keep her in your existence. Trust me, I know."

"I guess you do." I nodded.

For the next few hours, we sat in silence. I could feel everything Bella was feeling and Edward could hear all of her thoughts. She wasn't in as much pain as she was before and her body was gradually starting to change. I had done what she asked; I had made her just like me.

She was so brave, too. Before we called Edward into the room, we told one another how much we meant to each other and then we slowly connected by making passionate, intimate love. There was no urgency and no rush. I didn't care that the Volturi had given me a deadline. It was always about Bella and when she was ready. I held her while she slept and then after a couple of hours, I drew her a warm bath and sat on the edge of the tub and washed her back, as she told me what she wanted to do after her newborn phase was over. I'd do anything and go anywhere with her. It didn't matter to me.

She started to stir as Edward got up.

"She's waking up," he said.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"You two should be alone when she opens her eyes," he said. "She knows I was here the whole time. I'll come in when she's ready."

"Thank you," I said, as I pulled Bella closer to me.

"No," he smiled. "Thanks for letting me be here to help her through this."

"It's what she needed," I said. He smiled, glanced at Bella and then left us alone. I continued to hold her close to me, whispering soothing words in her ear, trying to coax her back to me.

"Darlin'," I whispered. "Wake up now."

She stretched out her body, but then moved closer to me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

_God, she was strong._

"Bella," I said in a calm voice. I knew she could be confused and scared when she woke up, so I continued to keep her tranquil. I pried her arms from my neck and sat her up in my lap. She shook her head back and forth, and I could feel her emotions starting to move into more awareness.

She slowly opened her deep red eyes and stared at me.

"Welcome back." I smiled.

"Jasper," she whispered. Her voice was raspy and raw and I knew, in a matter of minutes, her throat would be on fire.

"I'm here, Bella," I said. "I'll never leave."

"It's done?" she asked. "I'm like you?"

"You are." I laughed. "I hope that's okay."

She suddenly pressed her lips to mine and eagerly kissed me. That I didn't expect, but I went with it. I took her face between my hands and kissed her back with as much force as she was giving me. She was no longer fragile. The possibilities were endless. I could feel how much she loved me, how happy she was to be like me.

She stopped and squeezed her eyes shut, and I could feel her pain.

"Your throat burns," I said. "We can take care of that now."

"Will I know how?" she asked, and I felt her worry.

"It's instinctual." I smiled. "But, I'll help you."

"I love you." She smiled.

"I love you too," I said, as I stood up and walked her to the door.

"Wait!" She yelled, as she pulled me back toward her, slamming me into her shoulder. She was shocked at how loud her voice could get, and how strong she had become.

I turned and looked at her.

"It won't take long for you to get control of all of your new senses and abilities," I said. "But, you are stronger than me now, so you'll need to be careful."

"I'm stronger than you?" She laughed. "You're the fragile one now?"

"Yes." I smiled. "But not forever."

"Well, I'll be just as careful with you as you were with me." She giggled.

"Thank you," I said, as I took her hand and headed for the door, but she didn't move.

"Bella, we have to get you to hunt before it gets too uncomfortable," I warned.

"I know, but I have so many things going on in my mind right now. I can't process it all."

"It'll get easier, I promise."

"I trust you, but before I forget what happened during my change, I wanted to say thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for turning you," I said. "It's what I wanted."

"Not for turning me," she said. "For letting Edward be there with us. I heard the two of you together and it was a huge comfort to know that you were both there for me."

"It's what you wanted." I smiled.

"But, I also heard what you said about me loving him," she said. "You don't know how wonderful it is to know that you know I love him, but not the same way I love you. You're my life, I think you always have been, but I need Edward too."

"I know you do," I said. "And, I would never try to take him from you. I know who your heart belongs to, Mrs. Whitlock."

"It does, it always will." She gently kissed my lips. "Now can we do something about this thirst?"

"Yes." I laughed. "But, now you have a group of anxious vampires downstairs who are dying to meet you."

"Let's go!" She smiled, as she pulled me into the hall, and now I could feel she was filled with excitement and anticipation for the life that was to come.

When I climbed into her bedroom window a few years ago, I was the one who was lost and searching for a reason to exist. I had no idea that someday she would be that reason. I was full of just as much, if not more, expectation as she was. We had an eternity ahead of us.

The End

*****Thanks so much for taking yet another J/B journey with me.**


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